I know I know. The review is late. My bad. Y’know
what, though? Watching Impact the next morning really
gives me the chance to break down the show more. If you’d
rather a more detailed review like this, let me know.
If you’d like a more condensed version…umm…let
me know that, too. Just send me an e-mail at ZAH@WorldWrestlingInsanity.com.
***
We are on the eve of the first TNA PPV since debuting
on Spike, Bound for Glory. I’m excited. Are you?
I sure as heck know that Mike Tenay’s excited. You
think Don West is excited?
Nah…that guy’s never excited about anything.
Opening
I’m a little surprised as there’s no recap
from last week. They’re jumping right into the first
match instead (which is just fine by me).
(1) Samoa Joe defeated Elix Skipper by submission
at 2:29.
Finally. FINALLY! Samoa Joe finally makes his debut on
Spike. The future of TNA makes his way to the ring and
he doesn’t look happy. His intro makes him seem
like a big deal to the newer TNA fan. He’s described
as the “undefeated Samoan submission machine”.
Now tell me that the casual fan wouldn’t hear that
and immediately perk up a bit as to who this guy was?
Of course, Mike Tenay makes Joe sound like a million dollars
before he even steps into the ring. “This is the
moment we’ve been waiting for.”
Good call, Tenay.
Wait a second, Elix Skipper is being fed to Joe? Oh come
on, TNA. Surely you’ve got other guys who aren’t
as talented as Skipper that are just dying to be squashed.
Who did Skipper piss off? And since when did Simon Diamond
become “an experienced ring veteran” that
could help out Skipper? I guess you are to suspend your
disbelief when it comes to Diamond, because so far TNA
has given us zero reason to believe how both David Young
and Elix Skipper can become better wrestlers under his
tutelage.
The match starts up and both the announcers and the crowd
are psyched. The action begins with both men trading side
kicks. That’s brought to a quick end when Joe hits
an enzuigiri that levels Skipper. The crowd is sounding
like it’s watching a PPV match…very loud.
Joe then hits a chop and a kick before dropping a knee
across Skipper’s chest. Joe throws Skipper into
a corner and delivers a running knee to the head. Face
wash time. The crowd is (mistakenly) already chanting
“ole ole” at the move. Either that or they
want to see the Ole Ole kick. The crowd then chants “One
more time” at Joe. Instead, Joe goes for the pin.
Elix Skipper then bridges out of the pin attempt.
Wait a second…I’ve got to rewind that. Wow.
Impressive.
So Skipper then bridges out of the pin attempt and delivers
a spinning heel kick to the head of Joe. It’s now
Skipper’s turn to deliver some kicks and gets a
one-count for his troubles. Skipper then runs up the ropes
(for lack of a better term) and moonsaults onto Joe. That
earns him a two-count. Skipper runs into the ropes and
is met by a Joe powerslam. One muscle-buster and rear
naked choke later and you’ve got your first taste
of Samoan victory on Spike.
Get used to seeing that, folks.
Thoughts:
I’m still befuddled about the whole “Simon
Diamond is a mentor” thing when I know he can’t
win any matches himself. I’m also befuddled about
why Skipper was fed to Joe in a squash match instead of
somebody else. I’m also befuddled as to why I’m
using the word ‘befuddled’. I do know this…I’m
really looking forward to seeing Joe vs. Liger tomorrow
night.
This was a great intro for Samoa Joe. He immediately
becomes a superstar…um…I mean a TNA “megastar”
(this was Prototype’s idea on the Insanity Message
Board) after just one match. Thank Mike Tenay and thank
that rabid crowd for making it happen.
Rating: 7/10
Squashes don’t normally get a rating over 5, not
to mention this match could have been so much more with
Skipper involved. But the intangibles all coming together
made this an extremely enjoyable squash.
Christopher Daniels promo. Nicely done.
Commercial
(2) America’s Most Wanted defeated The
Naturals in 6:10 to win the NWA tag team titles.
I gotta give West credit. As soon as The Naturals hit
the ring he puts them over as a team that “has owned
AMW” in the past. While laughable to some, it immediately
puts over the tag champions to those who wouldn’t
know otherwise.
The match starts with all four men brawling. AMW quickly
exits to the outside, where Douglas gets backdropped by
Stevens onto Harris & Storm on the outside. Stevens
then scales to the top rope and delivers a Shooting Star
Press to the outside on AMW. Wow, this match is pulling
out all the stops early.
As AMW attempts to get a time-out from the match, Gail
Kim (sigh) comes down to give them support, advice, and
beauty tips as we head toward a…
Commercial
We come back just as the match resumes (good editing
boys) to see the Naturals still in command of the match.
As Douglas gets thrown into the ropes, Kim grabs his leg
and tries to trip him up. Instead, he gets pissed and
jumps outside to ask her why she would do such a thing.
Chris Harris nails Douglas with a title belt as he was
lying in wait on the outside. This busts Douglas open
and Storm immediately takes advantage inside the ring.
Douglas makes the hot tag to Stevens and he begins taking
on both members of AMW. It ends quickly as Harris nails
him with one of the title belts while the referee is being
distracted by Kim*. However, by the time the referee can
make the count Stevens is able to kick out at two.
*For the record,Gail Kim can argue
with the referee as much as she wants as long as she continually
wears mini-skirts. That is all.
Back to the action as Stevens whips Harris into the ropes.
As he’s coming off with a flying forearm, Stevens
ducks and Harris ends up hitting the ref instead. With
the ref down, the Naturals end up nailing their finisher
on Harris.
What? Did I hear Tenay call their finisher the Natural
Disaster? Where are WWE’s lawyers? I smell another
lawsuit.
The crowd actually counts to ten and it doesn’t
look good for the Naturals. But wait, Gail Kim is climbing
the ropes. What is she doing up there? She jumps at Stevens
and he ducks out of the way. But wait, Storm was right
behind him! Kim then delivers one of the sloppiest hurricaranas
I’ve ever seen. Of course, it doesn’t matter
because she did it with a miniskirt on. The Naturals,
for some reason, are upset at Kim for her interference.
Stevens then grabs her and flips her onto Douglas so they
can give her the Natural Disaster (where’s Typhoon??).
In comes Jeff Jarrett who gives a low blow to Douglas.
Funny, even though Jarrett’s jacket can probably
guide airplanes into a landing pattern the referee doesn’t
see him. Storm, playing off the fact that he’s a
drunk, has a beer bottle and smashes Stevens’ head
with it. It explodes and shatters in a very cool visual.
The referee looks around at the glass in the ring but
apparently has no choice but to make the pin. Three seconds
later and there are new tag team champions.
Thoughts:
Wow. Great match. A little short, but still very good.
I believe I called the title change last week (and no,
I didn’t look at the spoilers first). So, while
predictable, I was still very entertained. This certainly
sets up AMW as solid heels and really did a lot to put
the Naturals over at the same time. This match kinda reminded
me of old Rock’n’Roll Express battles with
teams like the Road Warriors or even the Horsemen because
they were so much smaller than everybody else. Watching
the Naturals made me think of them…so I guess that’s
a compliment, right?
Rating: 8/10
This match had everything you could ask for and more stuffed
into six minutes. High-flying moves. Blood. Hot tags.
Interference. A tag title change. Gail Kim in a mini-skirt
(have I mentioned that part yet?). Add in the hot crowd
and this match came off very well on TV.
Commercial
Ultimate X promo. This was the perfect way to introduce
this innovative match to new fans of TNA. The promo certainly
did it’s job in piquing my interest.
I’ve only seen this match once before (the initial
Ultimate X match with Bentley, Kazarian, and Sabin, I
think) so I’m looking forward to seeing it again.
Unlike Hell in a Cell, I think this type of match is fine
to use twice a year. Unlike HIAC, this match doesn’t
require the gimmick in order to be good. The wires are
there to add to the match. If those were removed, it could
still be a fantastic match. HIAC restricts movement and
limits maneuverability. UX simply adds to it.
(3) Bobby Roode w/ Coach D’Amore defeated
Ron “The Truth” Killings w/ BG James in 4:52.
“The Truth” is that that foolish dancing
you do makes you look like a fool…an absolute clown.
Stop it. That being said, the match starts up with a flurry
of rope running, shoulder blocks, leap frogs, and hip
tosses. A “U.S.A.” breaks out as Killings
busts out a somersault plancha onto a prone Roode on the
outside. I’m distracted, albeit briefly, by West
calling the move “so sweet”. He’s so
white.
Competing “Let’s go Canada” and “U.S.A.”
chants break out as Roode takes the advantage. He drops
a knee from the second rope for a two-count. Killings
begins to fight back with some punches but is met with
a couple of knees to the gut followed-up by a back suplex.
Kip James then makes his way to the ring and tells the
announcers he’s going to settle things with BG once
and for all. We’re then shown Konnan and Apollo
watching a monitor in the back and Konnan doesn’t
look happy. The distraction of it all allows Killing to
deliver a dropkick from the top rope onto Roode. Konnan
then comes running out and gets face-to-face with Kip
while BG tries to separate them. Killings then makes his
way to the outside and pushes Kip, who pushes back. Konnan
and Kip then start throwing punches and BG again attempts
to separate them as security makes its way to the ring.
With the referee on the outside with TNA security, Team
Canada then makes its way to the ring and distracts Killings
long enough for Roode to nail Killings with a hockey stick.
The referee miraculously makes his way back into the ring
and counts to three.
Thoughts:
This was my first time watching Roode and I was impressed.
Both he and Killings did a great job here. I’m really
hoping for a heel turn or a new persona for Killings because
he simply cannot be taken seriously when he dances around
like Scotty 2 Hotty. He’s better than that.
Rating: 7.5/10
Very entertaining match. LOTS of storyline development
for new viewers to chew on, too. I could go without all
the interference, but I understand the relevance to really
emphasize who’s the babyface and who’s the
heel.
Backstage and “The Franchise” Shane Douglas
is interviewing Jeff Jarrett, Monty Brown, Abyss, and
James Mitchell about tonight’s main event match.
Douglas begins to interview Jarrett but Brown grabs the
mic and said that the “Alpha Male” deserves
to be interviewed first. He tells Jarrett that he doesn’t
want to be in the match but TNA is forcing him. He tells
Jarrett that he remembers their deal and wants a shot
at the NWA title. Jarrett tells Brown that in order to
get a title shot Brown needs to go out to the ring and
impress him because he’s all about “second
chances” (yeah…no shit). Jarrett then looks
at Abyss and tells him that the exact same deal is for
him, too.
On a quick side note, I can easily see why new fans see
Abyss and think he’s a cross between Kane and Mankind.
The difference is that Abyss can actually wrestle.
Commercial
(4) Jeff Jarrett, Monty Brown, & Abyss w/
James Mitchell defeated A.J. Styles, Jeff Hardy, and Lance
Hoyt at 9:56.
It’s main event time and during the intros they
focus in on a sign that says, “We have the better
Hardy.” Sorry, folks, but that’s a very debatable
issue. I read in the Insanity message boards that Lance
Hoyt actually takes the time to hang out with fans after
Impact tapings, hence giving an explanation as to why
he’s so over in Orlando. You know what? Good for
him. Too many wrestlers take the fans for granted. There’s
nothing wrong with cheap heat, folks. You do what you
gotta do to get over.
Hoyt and Abyss start off and immediately those annoying
Abyss chants start. That’s quickly followed up by
“Hoyt” chants. Thank goodness Hoyt quickly
tags out to Jeff Hardy who quickly takes the “face
in peril” role as Brown enters the ring. A double-underhook
suplex by Brown is followed up by a tag to Jarrett. He
mocks Styles as he delivers a dropkick and poses like
Styles does. Funny.
Abyss back in the ring and he’s pounding Hardy,
not to mention messing up Hardy’s make-up. Styles
gets the tag in and he immediately goes after Abyss. He
throws Abyss into the ropes and attempts a dropkick. Abyss
holds onto the ropes and Styles does a full backflip in
the air. Abyss then runs at Styles but is met with a beautiful
dropkick anyway. Wow. That’s immediately followed-up
by a Pele kick onto an interfering Jeff Jarrett. The crowd
is going nuts.
Hardy leaps over the top rope onto Brown on the outside.
Styles leaps over the top rope onto Jarrett on the outside.
Hoyt stands in the middle of the ring. Does he? NOPE!
Hoyt then hoists himself over the top rope onto Abyss
on the outside. The crowd is now rabid. Great stuff.
Commercial
Styles is punching Jarrett in the corner and the crowd,
all standing on their feet at this point, is counting
along with him. Styles then notices Abyss about to interfere
and gives him a spinning DDT. The ref (along with Hoyt
and Hardy for some reason) allow Styles to face off against
both Jarrett and Abyss until, eventually, they begin to
gain the upper hand.
Brown enters the ring and we are informed that not only
is there going to be a tag team rematch at Bound for Glory,
but Raven “follower” Cassidy Riley comes down
to the announce table and tells Tenay and West that Raven
will be at the PPV, as well. It’s going to be a
packed PPV, that’s for sure. Brown then begins dominating
Styles for a minute before tagging out to Abyss, who dominates
some more before tagging out to Jarrett, who ends up on
the receiving end of Styles’ comeback.
Jarrett accidentally tags both Brown and Abyss and they
end up having an argument over who’s supposed to
be in the ring. That allows Styles the opportunity to
“double-tag” Hoyt and Hardy. All six men are
battling until Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam on Hoyt.
Hardy breaks up the pin attempt and hits a Twist of Fate,
followed by a Swanton Bomb and another two-count thanks
to Brown breaking up the pin. Brown destroys Hardy but
is met by a Hoyt boot to the face. Jarrett then stops
pounding on Styles long enough to break up that pin attempt,
as well.
Styles nails a “suplex with extra snap” on
Jarrett (which is essentially a suplex where the opponent
drops down on his feet and the wrestler drops him like
a neckbreaker…very cool move). Styles, sensing victory,
climbs to the top rope but Christopher Daniels makes his
way to the ring and pushes Styles off behind the referee’s
back. That gives Jarrett time to set Styles up for the
Stroke but Brown, out of nowhere, hits the POUNCE onto
Styles for the pin, much to Jarrett’s pleasure.
The heels begin a post-match beat-down until Sabu makes
the save. But Rhino then jumps into the fray. There are
bodies all over the place and Kevin Nash’s music
hits. Jarrett is in the ring and awaits his arrival. Nash
walks to the ring and begins climbing the steps when we
fade to black.
What? Where’s the rest of it?
Umm…that’s it.
HOLY SHIT!! TNA just pulled an old-school “tune
into the PPV” cliff-hanger?!?!? That’s AWESOME!!
Thoughts:
Great match. Great storyline development. Great ending.
Rating: 8.5/10
Just a very well-done main event match. The crowd was
into it and so was I. Extremely entertaining.
Overall Show Rating: 8/10
***
Wow…Impact #4 on Spike certainly made up for last
week’s “blah” episode. It was simply
a perfect way to set up the PPV and give fans a taste
of the non-stop action they’ve been missing with
WWE. I can’t say enough good things. I’m definitely
looking forward to Bound for Glory…it should be
a great PPV that’s worth the price of admission.
***
Agree? Disagree? You can give your thoughts in two
ways. First, you can email me at ZAH@WorldWrestlingInsanity.com.
Secondly, you can come to the
Message Board and post your thoughts in the TNA Forum
or scroll down to the bottom of the page, and enter Zah’s
Pit. I’d love to hear from you.
L8R.
