With a brand new NWA champion and hot off the heels of
an exciting PPV, it’s time to rock the Casbah with
an all-new episode of TNA Impact on Spike TV!!
The show begins with a video recap of the biggest bumps
from Bound for Glory (i.e. Hardy’s insane plancha
onto Abyss, Bentley getting powerbombed from the Ultimate
X ropes, Rhino’s gore on Jarrett). Then it shows
Rhino as your new NWA champion before segueing into the…
Opening credits
(1) Abyss pinned Lance Hoyt with the Black Hole
Slam at 3:46.
I love James Mitchell. The more TNA lets him talk, the
happier I’ll be (but they’re not getting the
most out of his at this time). Lance Hoyt definitely has
a ton of potential and I’m glad they’re not
pushing him too hard at this moment.
The match starts as Abyss won’t let Hoyt take off
his shirt, thus angering the four women in the front row.
Hoyt responds with some haymakers (i.e. weak-ass looking
punches). Abyss catches Hoyt off the ropes with a clothesline
but misses his follow-up leg-drop. Hoyt clotheslines Abyss
over the top to the outside, then follows-up with a shoulder
tackle as Abyss stands on the ring apron.
At this point Hoyt shows off his aerial skills and catapults
himself over the top and hits Abyss on the outside. The
“Hoyt” chants begin as Lance finally gets
the chance to take off his shirt. The “Ohhh Abyss”
chants start and I go into a “Mary Hart induced
seizure” temporarily. Abyss throws Hoyt into the
ringside barrier as a green-painted Jeff Hardy fan grabs
my attention.
Wait a second…a green-painted Jeff Hardy fan? Yep.
Seriously, she’s green from head to toe with the
tacky gloves and everything. She looks like She-Hulk…only
fifteen years old. Hardy must be proud.
Abyss throws Hoyt back inside the ring and traps him
in the corner. He delivers a big running splash, some
punches, a stiff chop to the chest…he’s really
dominating at this point. Hoyt tries to escape but is
caught with a chokeslam for his efforts. Mitchell slides
a chair into the ring as it becomes apparent that Abyss
doesn’t want to just win the match, he wants to
punish Hoyt. The referee tries to take the chair away
and is pushed by Abyss (shouldn’t that be an automatic
DQ?). As Abyss turns around to use the weapon Hoyt kicks
the chair into his face. Apparently the ref waives off
the DQ as Hoyt immediately goes for the pin. At the count
of 2¾ Mitchell pulls Hoyt off of Abyss. Hoyt, for
some reason, doesn’t like that and chases Mitchell
around the outside of the ring. When he re-enters, Abyss
attempts to take advantage but Hoyt stops him and begins
throwing punches again.
Hoyt runs to the ropes but is immediately caught with
a Black Hole Slam out of nowhere. 1-2-3 it’s over.
After the match, Abyss is in the ring and Mitchell hands
him a bag of thumbtacks while telling him to throw Hoyt
into the tacks. The lights go out and when they come back,
Sabu is in the ring (damn he’s got great theme music).
Mitchell is instructing Abyss to go after him but Sabu
unwraps the sheet around his arm to show that it’s
wrapped in barbed wire. Abyss and Mitchell make their
retreat as Abyss’ eyes are bulging out of his head
and Sabu has a sick little grin. The announcers do a great
job at putting their match at the Genesis PPV over.
Thoughts:
I absolutely loved how the Black Hole Slam came out of
nowhere. Too many times matches are predictable and the
opponent has to really be worn down in order for the finisher
to work. Hoyt was actually in charge of the match when
Abyss caught him and immediately it was over. Well done.
I also really enjoyed the after-match storyline with
Abyss and Sabu. It seems like we’ve already had
this dance but kudos to TNA for trying to make it different
and interesting.
Rating: 7/10
I’ll give a 6/10 for the match (it was really too
quick to be anything more) and then add a full point for
the post-match fun.
Commercial
We come back to a promo for the two-hour special this
Thursday. Folks, if you’ve never seen TNA before,
this is the PERFECT chance to do so. Trust me…they
will be pulling out all the stops.
We go ringside to Mike Tenay and Don West as they hype
the two-hour special again. Then, a very intriguing thing
happens; Mike Tenay apologizes on behalf of TNA management
for the “equipment malfunction” that took
place during the Ultimate X match this past Sunday at
BFG. As a way to make it up to both the wrestling fans
and the wrestlers themselves, they are going to put the
rematch on the two-hour special. Wow. Not only that, but
the match will determine the new number one contender
for the X title. Classy move all around. Well done, TNA.
Jeff Jarrett’s music hits and he makes his way
down to ringside with Larry Zbysko. Wow…he’s
wearing a black t-shirt and blue jeans. I guess not being
champion gives him better fashion sense. Anyhoo, Jarrett
just wants to tell Tenay and West that he’s got
a rematch for the NWA title with Rhino at the two-hour
special.
Hey…at least Rhino got to be champion once, right?
That’s something to brag about. Just ask Tommy Rich.
The promo for the two-hour special plays again.
(2) “Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels
pinned Jerrelle Clark at 2:29.
Daniels ain’t pleased, folks. He’s coming
off of a 1-0 loss to AJ Styles in their 30-minute Ironman
match at BFG and he’s looking to take it out on
Clark. He starts off aggressive as he takes down Clark
with a leg sweep and begins pounding on his skull. A “Fallen
Angel” chant rings throughout the Impact Zone and
it just proves how over Daniels is even though TNA is
desperately trying to make him a top heel in the company.
Daniels looks around in disdain at the chants and gives
Clark a nasty elbow to the face.
Clark comes back with an armdrag & a drop-sault (copyright:
WWE and Paul London). Clark then goes for a monkey-flip
out of the corner but Daniels lands on his feet and greets
Clark with a nasty takedown/clothesline. Daniels then
hits a flying knee that throws Clark back into the turnbuckles.
Daniels then places his leg across the throat of Clark
and poses. As scattered boos begins to ring through the
arena, Daniels begins to play to them…glaring and
telling them to shut up. With that, a small “Daniels
sucks” chant breaks out. You’ve gotta love
a wrestler that can turn a crowd like that during a match.
Clark hits a surprise hurricarana out of nowhere, but
Daniels has to stand still waiting for Clark to throw
some “comeback” punches. Clark then hits a
couple of clotheslines and what I can only describe as
a backdrop-powerslam. Clark attempts a second-rope moonsault
but misses. Daniels hits “Angel’s Wings”
and it’s over.
Thoughts:
Jerrelle Clark needs a LOT of work, folks. Just by basing
his ability on this one match, Clark isn’t even
good enough to be a jobber on Impact. Bring him back in
a year or so when he’s ready. Daniels, however,
overcame Clark’s sloppiness and came off as a true
superstar. I’m really enjoying how he’s being
portrayed in TNA.
Rating: 7/10
Not the greatest wrestling match in the world, but I’ll
give it a seven because Daniels is simply awesome.
Commercial
A promo airs for the next PPV, Genesis.
Backstage interview segment with Shane Douglas interviewing
Raven. Douglas is going on and on about how Raven was
screwed time and time again. He says that the Raven he
knows would be absolutely livid at the recent turn of
events. Then, Cassidy something or other comes in to interrupt,
telling Raven that he’s being played by everybody
even though he’s smarter than them. He then says
that maybe Rhino was right and that “maybe she has
made you soft”. With that, Raven delivers a stiff
backhand slap to Cassidy’s face before walking away.
I’m sorry…but this Cassidy guy doesn’t
really fit the mold of a Raven follower. You can’t
simply dress somebody up in a ripped t-shirt and jeans
and suddenly make them a disciple of Raven. Doesn’t
work that way, guys.
(3) “The Phenomenal” AJ Styles &
Sonjay Dutt defeated Alex Shelley & “The Messiah
of the Backbreaker” Roderick Strong at 6:12.
I’m unfamiliar with the bandages on Sonjay’s
shoulder. If somebody could let me know what that’s
all about I’d be much obliged.
Styles and Shelley start things off and the crowd is
hot for this match. Styles hits his dropkick and Dutt
gets tagged in. After a quick double-team move Dutt then
delivers his “sprinkler” elbow drop.
Wait a second. The sprinkler? Wow. He looks like an idiot.
Somebody please tell him. Please.
Strong gets tagged in and there is an excellent back
and forth series of moves that I can’t begin to
fully explain here. It ends with a hurricarana that I
got dizzy watching. Fantastic action. Dutt applies an
armbar as we head to…
Commercial
When we come back Scott D’Amore and Petey Williams
are at the commentator’s table complaining about
Williams having to wrestle in the Ultimate X rematch.
D’Amore screams about how Tenay is a “son
of a bitch” and how TNA is screwing Williams. Tenay
explains that Williams did not win the match under the
proper rules and that the cable must be climbed and the
‘X’ grabbed in order to win. I appreciate
Tenay giving fans an explanation for why there is a rematch.
Yet again another good move by TNA to help explain things
to newer fans.
Back in the ring and Dutt is getting beat-down by both
Shelley and Strong. Strong hits an amazing dropkick that
looks just as good as Styles’ did earlier. Wow.
Styles doesn’t appreciate this and spits in his
face.
What??
Yep…Styles spits in Strong’s face. Not quite
the babyface move of the night, to be sure. Y’know,
I’m really looking forward to seeing what Styles
can do as a heel. Anyway, Strong gets mad at this and
hits a SICK backbreaker on Dutt. So sick that TNA hits
the replay button. Dutt then scrambles and tags in Styles
who begins cleaning house on both Strong and Shelley.
When it looks like Styles is about to hit a pump-handle
slam on Strong, he modifies it and turns it into a gut-buster.
Ouch.
All four guys are in the ring now and it’s mayhem.
Sonjay then scales the top rope and does his Undertaker
impression by walking the rope while holding onto Shelley’s
arm. Is it “old school”? Nope…it’s
a top rope version of the “Sprinkler”. Ugh.
After hitting the move, Shelley ends up on the outside
and prevents Dutt from sliding out. However, he grabs
Dutt’s legs and whips him to the outside in a “holy
shit” moment. I’m getting dizzy from the action
at this point.
Back in the ring Styles hits a wicked clothesline on
Strong. One “Styles Clash” later and it’s
over.
Thoughts:
It should be obvious by now my disdain for Sonjay Dutt’s
“sprinkler” move. However, he’s got
a lot of wrestling ability and displayed it tonight. The
match was excellent, from top to bottom. I also enjoyed
Scott D’Amore’s interaction with the announcers.
It explained a lot to people who may not know the details.
I’m a little surprised at Styles’ heel attitude,
but it works for him and I’d actually like to see
more of it. He needs personality to compliment his incredible
in-ring ability. If it’s heel persona, then so be
it.
Rating: 8.5/10
For a six minute match, this thing was awesome. Great
match that would only get a higher rating if it lasted
a bit longer.
Backstage, Larry Zbysko speaks with 3 Live Crew and Kip
James about granting them a re-match with Team Canada
at the Genesis PPV. When Kip James suggests that he should
be the special guest referee, Konnan displays his disdain
for the idea and everybody argues as we segue into…
Commercial
Promo airs for the TNA home videos.
Promo then airs for the NWA championship. However, the
promo says that the NWA championship is “defended
in more countries and on more continents than any other
championship in professional wrestling.” Is that
true? Can somebody let me know if this is accurate? Regardless,
the promo really sets the NWA title up as something very
important.
(4) NWA Tag Team champions America's Most Wanted
w/ Gail Kim defeated 3 Live Kru's Ron Killings & BG
James in 4:03.
Any time I can see Gail Kim is a good time. If I never
have to watch the Kru dance around again for the rest
of my life it’ll be too soon (especially Killings…STOP
THAT!). Konnan grabs the mic as I go into another seizure.
Ugh…it’s 1998 again. Although I gotta give
James some credit. His shtick is still over huge with
the crowd after all these years.
The match starts with Killings putting on a cowboy hat
and making fun of Storm. Then they wrestle with the hat
still on Killings. Killings dominates for a bit and hits
a hurricarana on Storm. Harris tries to interfere but
is met with a hip toss. Both members of AMW are on the
outside at this point. Killings, with cowboy hat in tow,
flips over the top rope and onto AMW. The crowd is hot
and really into the match at this point.
A “pussycat” chant starts towards Harris,
but it doesn’t last long. AMW then take the advantage
on Killings. Killings reverses a suplex and makes the
hot tag to BG James. All four men in the ring at this
point, but then it boils down to Harris & James. James
takes the advantage by hitting some punches and just as
he’s about to hit the pump-handle slam, Kim distracts
him. This allows Storm the chance to roll Harris out of
the ring and take his place while Konnan runs around the
ring chasing Kim.
Scott D’Amore then makes his way down to the ring
with a hockey stick but Kip James is right behind him.
Kip grabs the stick and tosses it to BG in the ring. Harris
takes the stick away from BG, who then turns around to
meet a stiff superkick from Storm. 1-2-3 and it’s
over.
After the match Konnan gets mad at Kip for having another
name that begins with ‘k’ as a camera outside
shows the arrival of Team 3-D.
Thoughts:
I’m really hoping for a Konnan heel-turn at Genesis.
This whole storyline has been playing for months and I
can’t wait for it to be over. Do something, move
on.
Rating: 7/10
Not a great match, but certainly not terrible at all.
Too short, though. I’ll give it a seven just because
Gail Kim made an appearance.
Commercial
Promo for the two-hour special airs again.
Commercial airs featuring Monty Brown pushing Morphoplex.
Team 3-D make their way to the ring. The crowd is going
insane and begins a chant for wanting tables (careful
folks…Vince will sue each and every one of you).
Ray begins the promo by asking the crowd to give a standing
ovation to America’s Most Wanted. Why? Because AMW
did what no other team was able to do within the past
ten years…take out Team 3-D. The mistake they made,
however, was that they didn’t get the job done.
Not only that, but Team 3-D will be coming after each
person who was in the Funeral Parlor skit. Devon then
grabs the mic and says the same thing…except that
the “Death List” will begin at the two-hour
prime time special with Team Canada.
Scott D’Amore and Team Canada (Eric Young &
Bobby Roode) then come out and then yap about something
or other…I normally zone out when I hear them speak.
However, this time Roode grabs the mic and speaks. Wow…he
actually talks? Anyhoo, he tells Team 3-D that they don’t
have to wait until next Thursday to start things. At this
point, A-1 (i.e. the worst wrestling name in history)
and Petey Williams attack from behind and soon it’s
5 on 2.
Soon, 3 Live Kru hits the ring and helps clean house.
Then Jarrett and AMW come down to attack. As the crowd
chants for Rhino, he comes down to make the save. As the
battle rages on we fade to black as Tenay yells about
seeing us on Thursday.
Thoughts:
This promo really accentuated Ray’s mic ability…but
the piped in crowd noise was a little much.
Rating: 7/10
Predictable, but entertaining nonetheless.
Overall Show Rating: 7/10
***
Impact #5 on Spike was another solid show. The problem,
however, is that they’re trying to put too much
into a one-hour program. I’m really looking forward
to what they can do with two hours. I guess I’ll
see you on Thursday!
***
Agree? Disagree? You can give your thoughts in two
ways. First, you can email me at ZAH@WorldWrestlingInsanity.com.
Secondly, you can come to the
Message Board and post your thoughts in the TNA Forum
or scroll down to the bottom of the page, and enter Zah’s
Pit. I’d love to hear from you.
L8R.
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