Guests: JBL & Nurse Slobberknockers.
Remember last week when I said I quit? Well, James won’t
let me. This is an excerpt from the PM I received from
Mr. Guttman in reply to my resignation: “Hey
you were stupid enough to sign on, now your stuck with
it. I couldn’t even talk that lush Crocker into
sitting through forty-five minutes of Todd Grisham, and
he didn’t even know his own name when I asked him.
Then you come along and tell me you’ve never seen
the show before, so I knew I had a sucker. Now stop PM’ng
me ya’ whining little bastard and go look at Todd’s
stupid hair, I’ve got photos to edit.”
(Real JG Note: David's kidding. I never
asked Dan Crocker because his insane computer would explode
if he ever tried to watch an internet show on it. I think
he uses a Commodore 64 or something.)
The show starts out with an extreme close up of Nurse
Slobberknocker’s knockers. The camera pulls back
as she says “Ted”…not Todd…Ted
“why is the red light on?” Ted comes into
the frame without a shirt and acts all embarrassed that
he was caught ½ naked with a WWE standard issue
fully refundable, tradable in bimbo…”roll
the open!” The show can only “go down from
here” ha, ha, ha, ha…because she’s a
naughty nurse and Ted was you know…kill me now.
Ted makes some sexual innuendo and then he gets down to
business.
Taboo Tuesday, and JBL will be calling in to discuss
Euclidean Geometry with Ted. Droz will also be calling
in to make his Taboo Tuesday picks. What exactly is Taboo
about this PPV anyway? Nurse Slobberknockers will also
have a huge Huge HUGE announcement.
JBL is up after this first recap. Ted Grisham is doing
well thanks to Nurse Slobberknockers. JBL talks about
how good at ‘invading’ and ‘shutting
things down’ he is. JBL is a liar, and he is damn
proud of it. JBL is a mastermind, a genius. Wow, this
is great all these recaps make it so I don’t even
have to watch either Raw or Smackdown. Chris Master’s
is a hair lipped monkey boy and Edge is a pea-brain. Rey
and JBL are now partners in crime. Rey 619’s Lita,
she must be used to that. JBL knocks Masters promo ability.
JBL is a leader of men, and wears a hat like no other.
JBL doesn’t care about the people; but he still
expects to be voted in for Taboo Tuesday…sounds
like another rich Texan. JBL chokes on some water. No
JBL not Bob Holly, please not Bob. Talk about Edge JBL:
He’s a great performer; but not as good as JBL.
JBL calls himself the King of All Media because he writes
about stocks. You can watch all his money shows at: http://www.johnbradshawlayfield.com/
JBL has a major announcement next week. JBL hates the
fans, and the fans hate him because he has money. JBL
is playing it the Kayfabe way from start to finish. Vote
for JBL, even though he hates you.
The entire Dr. Heiney segment is replayed in
all its stupidity.
Our next guest: Nurse Slobberknockers.
Penetrating Questions:
How long have you been a Nurse? “Since Saturday.”
And to think it takes most people years.
She loves Dr. Heiny.
She thanks Ted for complimenting her ‘bedside manner.’
Ted makes another breast joke…hardy har har!
She calls him Ted again…twice!
Nurse Slobberknockers has a special announcement too.
She is auctioning her Nurse’s Uniform on WWE.com.
Ted is sad that her breasts have left. Poor Ted. Ted then
sniffs the dress that was thrown to him. Let me repeat
this; Ted sniffs the dress that she threw to him. He likes
it. Droz is coming up next.
Flair vs. Triple H. Recap. Vote on the match.
Ted makes a joke about how those Eastern European women
are. www.xx-cel.com
(Not
Safe For Work)
Cheap plug!
Droz is on the line and he is not as attractive as Nurse
Slobberknockers.
Droz voted for:
Shawn Michaels
Cheerleaders
Mankind
Steel Cage. (Ted makes a good point. Triple H tapping
out in a submission match to the Figure Four
would be a moment.)
Street Fight
Matt Hardy & Hardcore Holly
Taboo Tuesday Calls.
Caller is looking forward to Carlito vs Dude Love.
Ted can’t wait to see Coach get his ass kicked.
Coach is an absolute A-Hole.
Droz wants to see Flair Triple H the most. Ted wants to
see the Raw Title match.
Droz checks out.
Stone Cold vs. Coach recap. Not even the WWE production
team can make this seem exciting.
Ted does a crappy Kevin Kennedy impression.
More recap: this time WWE Unlimited with Bischoff and
Cena.
Oh No! Cena has to wrestle Shawn Michaels one night before
Taboo Tuesday. Shawn Michaels? Yeah that makes sense.
Gregory Helms explains himself.
Calls to Todd:
What kind of match would Ted like to be in? Ted wants
to ref the Diva’s match. Ted makes sexual innuendo
jokes to a middle school age girl…dumbass! I can’t
believe they let that air. The best part was that the
girl, Amanda by name, blew off Ted.
Again Ted wants to see Dude Love vs. Carlito.
Diva’s Uncovered is on sale now; Dawn Marie gets
mentioned.
The Show Ends.
This was not a very good show. Ted Grisham makes the
King seem like a distinguished gentleman when it comes
to women. And I would like to again say how stupid and
how creepy Ted is. He was making suggestive comments to
a girl named Amanda from Massachusetts who turns out to
be in middle school! Nice going Ted.
I’ll be back next week, unless I can talk James
into letting me quit.
