The online version of Velocity is now
online. This weeks show features Hardcore Holly taking
on Sylvan in the main event as well as Paul London in
action against Simon Dean and the Velocity debut of
Kid Kash. You can check out the latest edition of Velocity
at WWE.com's
Velocity Section.
(1) Simon Dean defeated Paul London
with the Simonizer
Segment one opens with a nice video package
recapping No Mercy. After the Velocity opening, we open
up with Simon Dean taking on Paul London. Simon said
last Sunday all the fans had alot of fun at his expense
and thought it was really funny that Bobby Lashley made
him eat 20 fat disgusting double cheeseburgers. Simon
said he was a man of his word and ate all 20 and it
made him sick to his stomach. He then went on to thank
god for his patented Simon system cause if it wasn't
for that, those burgers would have turned him into a
fat disgusting loser like all the fans. Simon said tonight
the joke would be on his opponent Paul London since
he still has some calories left to burn. Paul London,
Simon says gets your ass out here. London came to the
ring and started eating a burger. Simon was upset and
went for a clothesline. Paul ducked and threw the burger
at Simon. London hit a couple armdrags and started working
on the arm before hitting a belly to belly suplex for
a two count. London whipped Simon to the corner but
got flipped out to the ring apron when he charged in.
After the ref took an inadvertant shot, Simon rammed
London head first into the ring post and London fell
to the floor. Simon went out to the floor and put the
boots to him and tried forcefeeding him the burger before
rolling him back in. The ref stopped Simon from using
the cast and it gave London enough of an opening to
hit a sunset flip for a two count. Simon regained control
and partially applied a surfboard before ramming London
face first into the mat with his boot which got a two
count. From there he followed with a kneeling abdominal
stretch. London got out of it by kneeing Simon in the
head. London hit some kicks to the gut and followed
with a couple running forearms. He then hit a couple
spin kicks but only got a two count. Simon reversed
London into the corner, charged in and was met with
a back elbow. Then, London went to the second rope and
scored with the mushroom stomp. Simon went for his bag-o-goodies
but was dropkicked into the corner. London rolled up
Simon but only got a two count. London swept the legs
and went for the red star press, but Simon moved his
cast so London landed on it. With London stunned, Simon
hit the simonizer and scored the 1-2-3.
THE VERDICT:
Good match. Both men looked good. Good
comedy before the match and good work during the match.
What more do you want out of a tv match? Definitely
worth viewing.
(2) Kid Kash defeated Funaki with
a musclebuster
Segment two opens with the Velocity debut
of Kid Kash as he takes on Funaki. They showed a brief
backstage interview where Kash claimed he was the most
dynamic cruiserweight in the world. He said there's
alot of buzz about Rey Mysterio and the Mexicools but
now there would be alot of buzz about him, the K-I-D.
Josh Matthews talked about the "instant access"
feature they debuted at last week's pay per view. Kash
and Funaki start out trading arm bars. Funaki grabbed
an early headlock which Kash reversed into one of his
own. Funaki whipped Kash into the ropes, leapfrogged
then scored with a dropkick. Funaki went back to the
headlock and reversed Kash into the ropes, but Kash
threw Funaki to the mat by the hair. The announcers
are spending this time talking about the Taker/Ortons
angle. Matthews said when the casket was opened, the
Undertaker was not inside. Back to the match, Funaki
goes back to the side headlock. Funaki reverses Kash
to the ropes, then leapfrogs, but Kash hit the bankroll
(a backwards flip kick to the head much like AJ's pele
kick) scoring a two count. Kash delivers a kick to the
back and goes to a reverse chinlock. Funaki reverses
an irish whip and chops Kash. He attempts a body slam,
but Kash slips out and drops Funaki backfirst across
his knee to score a two count. Funaki shoved Kash to
the ropes and hit a desperation enziguri but was unable
to make a cover. Funaki recovered and hit three right
hands before setting up Kash for a backdrop. He followed
up with a bulldog to score another two count. Funaki
climbed to the top and hit a flying cross bodyblock
for a long two count. Funaki whipped Kash into the corner,
but Kash jumps to the second rope and kicks a charging
Funaki on the way in and sprung off the top rope with
a moonsault onto a standing Funaki to score another
two count. Kash whips Funaki into the corner but is
met with a back elbow. Funaki climbs to the second rope
to set up Kash for the tornado ddt, but Kash counters
and hits a musclebuster for the pin. Kash's version
is slightly different from how Samoa Joe does the move
as Kash drops to his knees and the point of impact for
the opponent is Kash's shoulder. Following the match,
they go to an interview with Chris Benoit regarding
his upcoming U.S. title defense against Booker T this
Friday on Smackdown. Chris said he was looking forward
to facing Booker T, but not Booker T and Sharmell. He
went on to say if it hadn't been for Sharmell, Booker
T would not be facing him (they showed highlights of
the Booker/Rey match during the interview). Benoit said
he would walk in the champion and walk out the champion.
THE VERDICT:
Great segment. A fantastic debut for Kid
Kash. I always liked him in TNA, but he really looked
good here. He seemed much crisper in everything he did.
He should be a major player in the cruiserweight division
in no time. Not only does he do the high flying moves,
he's also a great talker. It also seems like he's doing
some kind of dig at TNA by using moves that AJ and Samoa
Joe use. The Chris Benoit interview was short but good
for hyping up the match for people who didn't watch
Smackdown this week. This is definitely a segment to
check out.
Segment three was simply a recap segment
showing highlights of the Eddie Guerrero vs. Randy Orton
match from Smackdown. This was all to promote the upcoming
tag match on Smackdown this week where Eddie Guerrero
and Batista will take on Randy and Bob Orton.
(3) Hardcore Holly defeated Sylvan
with a small package
In segment four, its main event time with
Sylvan taking on Hardcore Holly. As Sylvan makes his
way to the ring, they show highlights of him attacking
Holly at No Mercy and going after his ribs. Back to
the action, Holly attacks from the get go with right
hands and lifts up Sylvan for a backdrop. He clotheslines
him out of the ring and delivers some chops up against
the barricade. Holly rolls him back in and hits some
more chops. Sylvan rolls back out of the ring and Holly
chases after him. Sylvan slides back in and dropkicks
Holly before he can make it back in. Sylvan takes control
and hits a kneedrop followed by some kicks before choking
him while in the ropes. He whips Holly to the corner
and charges in with a knee. Sylvan hits a back suplex,
but Holly kicks out on one. Holly comes back with some
chops but takes a knee from Sylvan to put a stop to
that. After covering for a two count, Sylvan turns Holly
over into a boston crab. Holly tries to get to the ropes,
but Sylvan drags him back to the middle. Holly tries
to get to the ropes again and makes it this time to
force a break. Sylvan argues with the ref giving Holly
some time to recover. Holly reverses an irish whip and
scores with his dropkick. Holly holds his back in pain.
Sylvan runs in but gets caught in a full nelson bomb.
Holly covers but only gets a two count. Sylvan hits
a knee to the injured ribs of Holly, whips Holly to
the ropes and catches him in a flapjack. Sylvan kips
up and struts around the ring. He tries to suplex Holly,
but Holly reverses it into a small package to score
the pin. Sylvan attacks Holly after the match then grabs
a chair to bring in the ring. The ref grabs the chair
from Sylvan before he can use it on Holly. Then, Holly
recovers and gives Sylvan the Alabama slam on the chair
to close out the show.
THE VERDICT:
I have to say I was very surprised with
this match. I was thinking ugh going in but this was
a nice match with these two. Sylvan has come a long
way since his La Resistance days. He actually wasn't
too bad out there. Holly did a good job selling the
injuries and making Sylvan look as credible as I can
ever remember him looking. The two guys involved will
turn off some people, but this was good for what it
was.
OVERALL
This was a really fun show to review.
I can't really think of anything I didn't like. A good
opener with Simon Dean and Paul London followed up by
a great debut from Kid Kash. Funaki really was the perfect
guy for him to debut against. Also, a solid main event
out of two guys that I wasn't expecting much from. And
they did a nice job hyping the Benoit vs Booker and
Eddie and Batista vs Ortons matches for this coming
Smackdown. If you haven't checked out Velocity for a
while, this is a good week to check it out.
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an opinion on Velocity? Want to tell Kevin what you
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