If you’re like me, then you remember a time when Saturday mornings were ruled by professional wrestling. Twas a simpler time. A better time, some might say. Whether it was shows like Wrestling Challenge, Superstars, All-American Wrestling, or Action Zone, WWE has always had their sticky hands in the proverbial Saturday-morning TV cookie jar. It’s the perfect time to cultivate that innocent and naive toddler demographic. (How do you think I got hooked?)
However, in the post-Monday Night War era of sports-entertainment, Saturday mornings have become nothing more than a glorified dumping ground for Todd Grisham and/or Jonathan Coachman-hosted recap shows that feature nothing but highlights from that week’s Raw and Smackdown, and endless shilling for WWE products. But not this time, baby! Saturday morning wrestling is back on the USA Network, and it’s better than ever!
Wait, what’s this? The best action from ‘Monday Night Raw’ is edited for a younger audience. That’s how WWE A.M. Raw is described on my cable guide. That’s just great. Bring on the Grish.
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WWE A.M. Raw
Saturday, October 15, 2005
We begin with the solid new WWE history opening, in which we’re informed that “The Power is Back.” I’m not exactly sure who or what “the power” is, or when exactly it came back, but I suppose I’ll take WWE’s word for it. They’ve never lied to me before.
The Monday Night Raw intro plays. It’s exactly the same except for a little yellow “A.M” stamped onto the Raw logo. So far, so cheap.
The show opens with Trish Stratus making her way to the ring to face Victoria. They wrestle. Trish wins a pretty good match with a cool-looking suplex into a bridge. She’s then attacked by Victoria, savagely beaten, and subsequently “saved” by her best friend Ashley. The saving doesn’t last long as Victoria bounces young Ashley out of the ring pretty quickly. An unknown woman hops in and slaps the shit out of Vicky while also kicking the crap out of her, and runs her off into the night, er, morning. She then hands the Women’s championship belt back to Trish and excitedly bounces back up the ramp.
The Raw announcers inform us of a huge six-man tag coming up, and someone will be fired by Mr. McMahon. I hope it’s not JR.
Commercials.
[So far the show hasn’t been terrible. There’s no Grisham or Coach introducing highlights and recaps, so it plays like a real-time one-hour Saturday-morning wrestling show. It has sort of a TNA Impact feeling in that everything moves along at a quick and efficient pace. Also, there’s a graphic at the bottom that takes up about one-fourth of the screen with revolving information about WWE.com, USA Network, Raw, Smackdown, PPV, 24/7, and WWE. It takes some getting used to, but it adds to the show, and I happen to like it.]
Mickey James, the girl who just saved Trish Stratus’ life, introduces herself to the Women’s champion backstage. She’s Raw’s newest Diva (and an apparently obsessed fan), who wants to be just like Trish someday. Ashley’s trying not to act jealous, but she’s seething on the inside.
Triple H’s music hits and The Game is striding coolly to the ring. He cuts a scathing promo on Ric Flair and sort of explains why he tried to end the Nature Boy’s life last week. Something about apples and spit. In any case, the entire segment lasted only six minutes. That’s way better than the twenty he usually gets on the live Raw.
[You know, for as much stuff as they cut out from Raw, this show really could stand on its own if you didn’t watch on Monday night. There was no mention of the Stephanie McMahon promo, Carlito’s Number One Contender Cabana or the Conway/Doink match except on the news box at the bottom of the screen. There were no backstage segments or skits shown at all, including Triple H’s grand walk through the hallways backstage. I’m expecting to see an Adam Bomb squash match or a Waylon Mercy vignette at some point.]
More commercials! Buy Skittles, Burger King, and a bunch of video games! Then buy some Stacker 2, fatty.
Kane’s back, and he’s got a video to prove it. Seriously, this Monday he’s back. He even says so in the video.
Carlito, Edge, and Kurt Angle are already in the ring awaiting the babyface team of Shawn Michaels, Big Show, and John Cena. Predictably, they all come out. Just as predictable, they have a match. The Big Show and HBK are the stars in this one, as far as I’m concerned. The Show is an unstoppable monster, chopping and avalanching his way through the heels, and Shawn Michaels is, well, he’s Shawn Michaels.
There are two sets of commercials during the match, one of which was for a sneak preview of Duane “The Rock” Johnson’s newest movie, Doom, this Monday after Raw on USA.
Kurt Angle eventually rolls up and pins John Cena to end a good, solid six-man tag match in which all involved parties really worked hard to entertain. Coincidentally, these same six men will be heavily involved in the main event picture leading up to the Taboo Tuesday pay-per-view.
Coming up next, someone will be fired. Please don’t be JR. Please don’t be JR.
Commercials.
Vince McMahon struts out and demands that the announcers come into the ring and apologize for not helping his poor wife and daughter from Stone Cold Steve Austin’s attack the week prior. Jonathan Coachman and Jerry “The King” Lawler apologize to keep their jobs, but JR stands up to McMahon and will only say, “I’m sorry your wife got ‘stunned’ last week.” Vince calls out Stephanie to get a personal apology from JR, but he’s holding his ground. Stephanie slaps him across the face, which elicits evil laughter from the sinister McMahon duo. Vince calls upon his son Shane to drop an elbow on JR’s “black heart” but gets Linda McMahon instead. The CEO swerves us all by firing Jim Ross and bringing him to his knees with a vicious kick to the groin. They all celebrate as JR is left squirming on the canvas trying to collect any remaining shards of his shattered dignity.
The best play-by-play man in WWF/E history has been unceremoniously dumped from A.M. Raw’s announce team, leaving a void that may never be adequately filled.
[All in all, a fun little show, that may strengthen the argument that Monday Night Raw could survive, and actually improve creatively, within an hour-long timeslot. The action is Totally Non-Stop, and A.M. Raw provides an entertaining and efficient recap for those who may have missed WWE’s flagship Monday night program.]
