Whew, the Insanity is here. Finally,
I can breathe easy. I’ve been waiting and waiting
and waiting and waiting and nothing. But now you fans
can enjoy the New and Improved Insanity with bleach
alternative. James Guttman, a man I call a friend
(MATT NOTE: as well as numerous names I call him in
private that cannot be re-written here due to this
being a family friendly website) has asked me to do
a feature every now and then discussing the inner
workings of the independent wrestling business. Well
I will one up him. Not only will I give my views of
what goes on backstage, occasionally I will get some
very special guests to come along and give their views
as well. You see, today’s workers
are tomorrow’s future WWE jobbers. So without
them, we won’t have people like Tyson Tomko
winning 45 second squash matches on RAW. Without them,
Chris Masters would have only had about 5 Masterlock
challenges rather than 50. Without people like them,
your favorite WWE Superstars would continue fighting
long after Eric Bischoff asked security to break it
up cause THERE WON’T BE ANY SECURITY~!~!~!
Independent Wrestling makes the world
go round. The big fish need the independents. They
need the minor leagues so they can purge our talent
and steal our angles. They need the copy our gimmicks
and popularize our finishing moves. Without the indies,
you’d see the same old stuff on WWE programming
week in and week out. [EDITORS NOTE:
Um, Matt, WWE does the same thing week in and
week out right now, without stealing.]
So without further adieu, I give to
you my first column....
IN
THE TRENCHES WITH MATT DAWGS
Without going into play by play coverage
and detailing the exact matches, I plan on providing
you with the backstage stories and atmosphere of the
latest UXW
Pro Wrestling show titled: “Every Victim
Counts” Why do you ask, am I not going
into details on the show? Well the answer is two fold.
Firstly, my contract with Burgan’s
WWW.Gumgod.com
has a year left on it. So in order for me to be allowed
to freelance over here, I had to promise to continue
my detailed UXW reviews over there. So if you want
match by match coverage of “Every Victim Counts”
you can find it over there in about a month or two,
or five.
Secondly, you won’t be seeing
match by match coverage of the show because I am lazy
and don’t feel like going into all that detail
oriented stuff.
That being said, let’s begin MY
UXW DAY:
I started off with some breakfast. I
had some egg whites, turkey bacon and a glass of OJ
from my local diner. Then…..
[EDITOR’S NOTE:
No one cares about this stuff so I am just going to
delete this from the column and fast forward to the
wrestling stuff.]
So I call Poppalishus and find out what
time we are leaving. Then I give a call to Poppalishus
tag team partner, Eddie Guapo and find out that he
is on his way there. Pop comes and scoops me up and
we are off. The “internet” taping for
a show that is going to be broadcast on the net was
to begin at 5:30 PM. So lo and behold my surprise
when we get there at a quarter to 5:00 PM and the
ring isn’t even set up yet. Since the arena
is a hockey rink, the owners had a kid’s hockey
tournament being held there and it happened to run
long. So uXw had to wait.
I placed my bags in an empty locker
room and then proceed to go about the normal ritual
of shaking hands with everyone and introducing myself
to those I don’t know. Also to my surprise,
all of the big names who usually stroll in late are
actually already there with their gimmick/autograph
tables all set up. The New Age Outlaws BG James &
Kip James [EDITORS NOTE: Due
to a letter received by a Mr. Jerry McDevitt, Esq.
certain names had to be edited from this column. Don’t
blame us, blame……WWE. HAHA. Some of you
thought I was going to make that stupid joke that
plenty of people find funny. Nope. Not Me.],
Elix Skipper, Balls Mahoney, Rhino. All ready and
waiting to sign some autographs and make some money.
Lesson number one to all you aspiring wrestlers out
there, wrestling is about MONEY.
PERIOD. End of story. Close the book. Chapter is over.
If you get into independent wrestling and your goal
isn’t to make money, you better be sure that
you have a college degree, a full time job and some
savings because wrestling is about making money.
So I introduced myself to the RoadDog
Jesse James B.G. James. He is a nice guy and it is
refreshing to me to see that so many famous wrestlers
I have met are so approachable and so kind. You read
tons of stories about veteran wrestlers being assh*les
to rookies and Indy guys but I have yet to see it.
Also making his UXW debut and meeting
him for the first time is TEST Andrew Martin. For
someone who just recovered from a broken neck, the
man looks amazing. What is clear when seeing former
WWE stars up close is that they are truly larger than
life people. To me, seeing a BG James or an Andrew
Martin on TV, they look like regular wrestlers. But
seeing them up close and personal, amidst independent
wrestlers, the size difference is obvious. People
with average wrestling builds in the WWE, like D-Lo
Brown and BG James, stand out amongst people like
Buff E. and Mace Mendoza of the Christopher Street
Connection. This isn’t a knock on the CSC who
are friends of mine, it is just the facts. BG James
is a few inches taller than me and I stand at 6’1
inches. So imagine. When James was in the WWE, he
was definitely not one of the biggest guys around.
I ran into former WWE announcer Kevin
Kelly who is the new booker for UXW. Kelly, whom I
had e-mailed a few months back asking for some tips
on my gimmick, recognized me right off the bat. That,
my friends is someone who really cares about this
business. What I mean by that is the fact that Kelly,
who gave me the advice I asked for, had watched only
2 UXW shows on tape and not only recognized me from
the tapes remembered my name and what I had asked
him. He complimented me on my look and the changes
I made to it and told me what he had planned for my
team for the evening.
After settling in, I killed about an
hours time bullsh*ting with people like K-Murda and
K-Pusha of All Money is Legal, Papadon of the Solution,
Everyone’s favorite tape distributor Mr. Rob
Feinstein, Lowlife Louie Ramos (who’s 6 month
old kid is adorable) and a few others.
As show time approached, the internet
taping was about to begin. Everyone was in the locker
room area going over their matches and getting ready
for show time. Say what you want about UXW but the
fact is, the workers appearing on these shows care.
You hear a lot of comments from wrestlers who don’t
like working in certain areas or for certain promoters
but in UXW, the workers actually look forward to performing.
As the internet matches were taking
place, Kevin Kelly posted the line-up for the show
next to the entrance at the gorilla position. We looked
over the card and saw that certain advertised matches
were changed due to some unforeseen circumstances.
Some people who were advertised or scheduled to appear
as surprises did not show. Such names are:
* The Sandman
* Jasmin St. Claire
* Missy Hyatt
* Tammy Sytch
* D-Lo Brown
* The surprise (who I cannot name
as he will be attending the next show)
Now for some explanations on the no-shows.
The Sandman was taken off the show a
weeks before. Apparently, Cody Michaels and Shane
Douglas had called Frank Goodman and stated that there
was going to be a Hardcore Homecoming show. Well if
you follow wrestling, you will know that the Hardcore
Homecoming weekend took place two weeks ago. Unfortunately
for Sandman, Goodman didn’t re-book him for
canceling.
Jasmin St. Claire was removed from the
show by Frank Goodman. He did manage to assist in
getting her booked at Cyberspace wrestling the following
night. The reason he removed her is because the other
two “Divas” who were scheduled to appear
(the next names) did not show. So that would have
left Jasmin with nothing to do.
Missy Hyatt was booked for a wrestling
convention at a nearby hotel in Long Island. Unfortunately
for UXW, the promoter told Missy that UXW would have
to pay him a fee in order for her to appear. He felt
that since he booked her and paid for her to come
to Long Island, he was owed money for working an Indy
show in the area. UXW disagreed and told him no. So
she didn’t appear as advertised.
Tammy Sytch no showed. No one knows
why. No one has heard if she gave a reason. She also
no showed the convention that Missy Hyatt attended.
She was advertised for both. She no showed both.
D-Lo Brown was in Japan. D-Lo, showing
why he is a consummate professional, knew he had a
Japan booking when he was booked for uXw. He told
Frank Goodman that his flight was getting back that
day and he was going to go to the show straight to
the airport. Being that uXw shows are 7 hour marathons
and D-Lo is such a name that he doesn’t have
to wrestle late in the card; he figured he could make
it. D-Lo called the building at 9:00 PM and said his
plane was landing soon and he would be at uXw by 10:00.
Unfortunately, his flight was late. He arrived at
11:00 something and said he would be there soon. By
the time he called however, the show was almost over
with. He then called Goodman for directions to the
show at around midnight. Show was over. No D-Lo. He
did manage to get directions to the bar where the
after party was being held. I am not sure if he showed
up or not.
Finally, the big surprise. The big surprise
called at 9:00 PM saying he was stuck in traffic in
Pennsylvania. He had just hit PA at the time of the
call. He was driving up from his home in Georgia
(hint for those wrestling fans who know geographical
locations). He said he was on his way. Sadly,
he was informed that he should just stay there or
drive back. The tip of Pennsylvania is approximately
4 hours away from New York City on I-95. Add about
30-45 minutes from the City to Long Island and that
would have put him in the arena at around 2 AM. So
Lowlife Louie had to scramble for another opponent
(hint number 2 for those who are familiar with
Mr. Louie Ramos and his wrestling style).
So Poppalishus and Guapolishus meet
their opponents, Jim Payne and “The Original
“ Sinn of TNA fame. Let me preface this by stating
how professional and friendly Sinn is. For someone
who has wrestled on TNA, PPV and Velocity matches,
he could have complained to Goodman that he deserved
a better match up or better opponents. He did not.
When he was informed that his team was taking the
loss, he was willing to be the one to take it. (Kevin
Kelly vetoed that because Pop and Guapo were the heels
and Jim Payne had a “white bread babyface”
look to him) So that was a good experience working
with someone so professional. It was also a godsend
since Poppalishus and Guapolishus, while knowing about
this match for over two months, never bothered to
train together to get in sync for the match. It is
fair to say that they looked a little bit sloppy.
The show opened with the usual playing
of the national anthem. Finally the first match, Guapo
and Pop defeated Jim Payne and Sinn. The match was
not without a few blown spots but all in all, it was
good enough to get by. Not the best match of the show
but far from the worst.
Here are the uXw quick results:
1. Poppalishus and
Guapolishus with Matt Da AYM defeated Jim Payne and
“Original” Sinn
2 . Havok vs. Monsta
Mack went to a no-contest due to interference from
WXW Champion Bison Bravado
3 . Frankie “The
Future” Kazarian defeated “Primetime”
Elix Skipper to win the uXw X- Treme Title
4 . The New Dynamite
Kid (MATT EDIT: NO that is not
a misprint) defeated Heavy Metal, Mercenary,
Lil Greatness, & Candy to win the uXw hardcore
title.
5 . (Formerly Test)
Andrew Martin defeated Slyk Wagner Brown
6 . The Backseat Boys
(Trent Acid and Johnny Kashmere) defeated The Outcast
Killas and All Money is Legal to win the uXw tag team
titles.
7 . “Da Notorious
187” Homicide defeated Rhino by submission
8 . Vordell Walker
defeated Grimm Reefer
9 . The New Age Outlaws
BG James and Kip James defeated the Christopher Street
Connection
10. Bison Bravado vs.
Lowlife Louie Ramos went to a no contest
11. Steve Corino defeated
Balls Mahoney to capture the uXw world title
12. “Da Notorious 187”
Homicide defeated Steve Corino to win the uXw title.
A special guest was also in attendance
as none other than legend, Percy Pringle III aka Paul
Bearer came, unannounced and uninvited, as a fan to
enjoy the show. No one knew he was coming; he was
not booked nor was he paid. He just wanted to watch
some wrestling.
The show was also significant because
it was being recorded by Canadian Aaron Weiss for
his wrestling pay per view series “Pro Wrestling
Superstars” and it will be airing here in the
United States for “On Demand” pay per
view in the next few months. Speaking of Aaron Weiss,
he was chewed a new one by Steve Corino. Apparently
Weiss had mentioned in an interview that Steve Corino
was unprofessional. Well Mr. Corino reads the internet.
He saw the interview in question and when meeting
Weiss, commented on Weiss feelings considering the
two have never spoken or met before. Corino threatened
to show Weiss what unprofessional is but decide that
common sense would prevail and other than give Weiss
a brow beating, he did not physically assault him.
In addition to the Pay Per View, Rob
Feinstein will be releasing this footage with special
backstage scenes exclusive only to RF Video which
will show backstage happenings, interviews, and fraternizing.
There are also some jokes and ribs that were recorded.
That should be some excellent bonus footage for reviewers
out there. COUGHBURGANCOUGH.
A total of roughly 400+ people were
in attendance which is a low number considering that
uXw drew about 800+ at the last show held there. The
difference of being under Kevin Kelly’s thumb
however was sure felt. The show ran more smoothly,
there was less interaction between the workers and
promoter. If someone had a question or needed some
guidance, they were able to get it from Kelly. He
was more than approachable and was very helpful to
anyone who needed some advice. He even supplied the
finish to the opening match when Guapo was at a loss
for what the finish should be. Fantastic man and I
look forward to working for him again.
Basically, that was the gist of what
took place at uXw on Saturday. What? You wanted more?
Tisk, Tisk. I can’t blow my backstage scoops
load in one shot. You never heard of foreplay? This
is my first World Wrestling Insanity column. I am
definitely not going to throw out all the secrets
right off the bat. How dumb would that be? Then you’d
have no reason to come back for seconds. HAHA. I do
thank you all for coming here, enjoying the site and
awaiting the new book. I thank you all for supporting
James Guttman who is a good man and a very talented
individual. Browse through the features of the site
and enjoy yourself. Remember, our Insanity is your
Insanity. So keep reaching for the stars or whatever
that old man on the radio says. Till next time, Peaceseeyoulaterbye©®
~Matt Dawgs
