Matt Dawgs
Matt Dawgs: Monday Morning Quarterback
By Matt Dawgs
Oct 17, 2005, 16:46

Welcome back folks to one of quite possibly many gimmick columns I will throw out to you all from time to time. Yes, I am using gimmicks as my selling point. Based on reactions from readers, I will continue in the future to do what is popular and rid the columns that aren’t. For example, if you liked my question and answer session from a few weeks back, I will stick with it. If you don’t like this one and I get some negative feedback, I will dump it faster than WWE dumped the Mordecai gimmick. Nuff said.

Now, some of you sports aficionados have obviously heard the term “Monday Morning Quarterback”. That term is used for football enthusiasts for when Monday morning comes along and people analyze/scrutinize the actions of football teams from the day before. I am kind of going to do that here. Only not.

Here I plan on playing “Pre-Monday Morning (or afternoon or evening depending on when you are reading this) Quarterback”. I am going to tell you all what WWE “SHOULD DO” for tonight’s RAW broadcast and then you can compare my in-genius booking with that of what aired. Got it? NO? Sorry but I am not explaining it again so call some friends and have them explain it to you.

Right off the bat, Monday Night RAW is in for a huge change. It is the post Jim Ross era on RAW and JR will not be doing commentary. Sure that has happened from time to time in the past but this time, barring any unforeseen change of “heart” (and I use that term very very loosely) from the McMahon Family, JR won’t be commentating RAW on USA again. So that being said, it is expected that Jerry Lawler and the Coach will be doing tonight’s show. That is mistake number 1 in my book. While Coach is playing a solid heel character and Lawler is Lawler, they need someone who can call play by play. Obviously all of the good PBP announcers in wrestling are gone. But they definitely need to add a third man out there. Whether it is Vince, Shane, or even Eric Bischoff who did Nitro back in the day, they definitely need someone. Coach isn’t qualified to get it done. At least, get it done well. So get someone in there, good or not, to do Play by Play. You won’t know if someone is talented unless you try them out in the role. Maybe they should have a guest PBP man until they find JR’s permanent replacement.

In connection with that angle, WWE.com is teasing that the Texas Rattlesnake himself, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin will be in the hizzouse. (JG NOTE: Maybe you should just use the word house. I am not too sure if you are capable of pulling out hizzouse. Just doesn’t fit you. Try Flippity Floppity Flu.) That is a good plan in my eyes. Sure I would much rather see Austin wrestle. But to fit with the old school mentality of RAW on USA, you need someone to run amok and cause chaos. Austin does that. He brings in viewers from the strong days of RAW’s past. He connects with audiences in ways that are only rivaled by a handful of people. So having Austin come out and lay waste to people and cause confusion for “the powers that be” will only be beneficial to entertainment. Austin is usually on fire when he is on TV and has something to sink his teeth into. Word has it from the dreaded “backstage sources” that Austin was not informed that his angle from RAW Homecoming was a lead in to JR’s firing. So a motivated Austin = an entertaining segment.

More follow up from last week and WWE has hinted in commercials that the McMahon family will be in full force. The entire McMahon family. That my friend is something I am looking forward to personally. For the first time ever, all 4 McMahon family members are playing heels. Booking 101 says that the McMahon’s need to come out looking strong and united. They definitely need to throw their weight around with the talent as well as WWE employee’s backstage. Such segments should include Stephanie McMahon firing a food server because her beverage has too much ice in it. Or Vince giving Eric Bischoff the night off (or even coinciding with my original idea of putting Eric on commentary by saying he doesn’t have to GM tonight but since he is on payroll, The McMahon’s can use him in any capacity they want so he will do PBP). But basically, the McMahon’s need to come off as assh*les. Plain and simple.

As far as matches go, Taboo Tuesday is only two weeks away. They definitely need to get on the ball with this one. If it wasn’t for the internet, I would not have known that their was a Taboo Tuesday PPV coming up. So they need to at least announce some matches and then announce stipulations next week. Let us know what is on tap. Give us something.

Ric Flair. Dirtiest player in the game. He got his ass handed to him by HHH and his friend Mr. Sledgehammer. HHH then cut a top notch promo explaining why last week on RAW. Well it just so happens that Ric Flair is the inventor of the promo. Ok, he didn’t actually invent it but he is old enough that he could have. As a matter of fact, for any 13 year old reading this, if I didn’t say that he didn’t, you would have believed me. So haha. Anyway, Ric Flair needs a comeback promo. A pissed off Ric Flair cuts grade A, 5 Star promos. Ric Flair needs to give the promo of his life and if he does, no matter how crappy the match may end up being, the build up to this feud will be fantastic. When HHH wants to be on, he can be on. When he has something to prove, he works his hynie off to prove it. So I fully expect this angle to continue tonight.

Trish Stratus and Alexis Laree Mickie James will continue. I like Alexis. I think she is talented, cute and she has definitely “grown” since the last time I saw her on the Indies. However, that being said, her work, while good, is not on Trish’s level. So unless she improved by leaps and bounds, she isn’t going to get a great match with Trish. I think it will be good. Alexis isn’t horrible. But a lot of people who have only heard of her and not seen her aren’t going to be all that impressed. I like the gimmick and I think if she plays her cards right, it is going to go well. Only problem is, once her feud with Trish is over, where do you go?

Tag Team Titles. Which tag team titles? Correct. That is what I was thinking. They haven’t been defended since they were won by Cade and Murdoch. If they have been, I missed it. So let’s get a title defense on RAW no? Please.

A big event that is happening is the return of Kane. They are pushing it as something big. Only problem is, last time we saw Kane, he was fighting Edge due to Edge’s stealing of Kane’s “wife” Lita. Bad thing is, Kane’s “wife” Lita wasn’t really his wife. She was Matt Hardy’s girlfriend of 6 years which Edge really stole from him. Due to Edge’s stealing of Matt’s girl/Kane’s wife, Matt can no longer have a family. Since Edge bitchslapped Matt off of RAW forever, that feud is over. But obviously Kane can’t come back and feud with Edge over Matt’s girl/Kane’s wife so he needs to go elsewhere. Where? Where is the question? I would stick him with someone meaningful. Someone like Carlito. But that is just me. My guess is that they stick him back with Edge over Matt’s girl/Kane’s wife. We will see.

As for the John Cena saga. Well the question was asked last week, who is the number one contender. I am going to bet that they rule out some names this week. Angle is going to eventually become number one contender and I am hoping and praying and sacrificing chickens to Jobu every night that Angle wins the strap. But until then, he is definitely going to be the number one contender. I think that will be explained or at least sorted out due to some sort of elimination match or tournament that will begin on RAW.

Finally, you can definitely expect your usual filler of huge black men in pajamas humping white men, legends returning for one night only, Carlito’s Cabana, commercials for products that only blind people would buy and throw in some crap and you got your weekly edition of RAW.