Paul O'Brien
A Day at the Office
By Paul O'Brien
Nov 1, 2005, 17:00

Yes Mister Security Guard, it’s me. Let me in. Today’s the day.

“And you too. Lovely day. Thank you”

This business casual stuff is making me sweat, sweat, sweat Johnny, you prick.

Everyone is here already it looks like. Better go and see who am I jobbing to tonight. Maybe they need someone to put the midgets over. Ah, I’ll find the board later. Where’s Johnny I wonder? Probably tongue bathing Vince.

Man, I’m tired.

I should go in there confident. I don’t see anyone better than me here.

There’s the champ now. What has he got that I haven’t? He looks good. Nothing else. He has friends though. I don’t care, I’m sick trying to make him look good. I bet he doesn’t even notice me. Too busy on his cell. Nope. Not a word.

Maybe I should work out harder. Maybe the office would notice me more then.

What has this guy got now? His fucking Daddy, that’s what he’s got. I wonder how much he’s getting? The twirly bitch is never off the show. Maybe I should punch him in the head. Maybe that’ll get me noticed. He’d probably shit in my bag or something.

I think my lace is open.

“Hey man. How are you?”

He’s alright, but his wife makes me want to knee her in the face. Maybe if I was black…maybe then the office…although, no thanks. They’d either have me eating chicken and dry humping dudes or draped in loin cloth. No thanks, don’t want to be black either.

I wonder if the food is this way?

Look at these two. I like these two. Well, I like her two more but these guys are fresh. It doesn’t hurt to have a chick looking like that either though. I wonder do they get fed up with her getting their heat? I bet we’re on the same money. I’m all tag teamed out anyways.

“Hey guys. Where’s catering? This way? Oh, I see. Down here, OK. Thanks”

I wish I was back on RAW. Maybe I didn’t do enough…nah man, I did everything they asked me to. I was flying in my spot there. What have all these new guys got that I don’t? I can get a needle to fix what they have, can you stick something in your ass to teach you to talk?…besides Patterson. I like that, must write that down.

These hallways are getting longer. Could be worse, I could be a cruiser.

There’s another one. How is this going to make money? It’s their channel, Vince. Do you have to get your little ‘revenge’ on everyone? How is this guy going to make anyone want to buy a PPV? Doesn’t matter, right? As long as you can make UPN look stupid.

I’m not hungry anymore.

“Hello. Ya, I’ll call you back. No, I haven’t seen him yet. I’m just going to put my bag in the locker room and then I’ll go and look for him. I’ll let you know”

Maybe I should do another TLC match or something? Maybe a new gimmick match? Vince will just shit on it. I don’t want to get hurt anymore anyways. I need something though.

I wonder how Jeff is doing?

Here we are. Maybe this week will be different. Nope, doing the J-O-B again. Rey this time. Taboo Tuesday is going to suck anyway. This fucking place is doing my head in. Five of us out there and I’m getting pinned again. This shirt is choking me.

“Ya? I said I’ll ring you back, didn’t I?”

I bet I could main event in Nashville. I could have some great matches there. They’d let me make some good money there. Hardy is there and the Dudleys. Rhino. I could make real money there.

Maybe I’m not good enough.

I’ll just see how this contract thing goes. I’m used to this place. I should get something. They gave me my own segment. That’s something. Maybe the office is waiting. I don’t know what for though.

They took away my pyro though, that’s always a bad sign.

“Sorry? What’s that? Johnny’s looking for me, where? Thank you. I’m good, and you?”

This is it. Contract time. I wonder what they have laid out for me? They need guys like me out there, don’t they? I wonder if I got myself a new gimmick? I could dance or something? Maybe I should say that to them? They like dancing. I could get me a chick. They like chicks.

“Hey. Sorry I had to hang up on you before. Listen, it’s time. I’m going to see him now, he was looking for me. I don’t know. I haven’t seen it yet. Ya, I wore the tie. I’ve been a good worker for them though, I don’t see any reason why we can’t go again. I have to be worth more than the chicks and midgets and the juice monkeys at least, right? Right? Hello? Hello?”

Must have got cut off.

“Is Johnny this way, guys?”

***

Drop Paul a line at:

Paul@WorldWrestlingInsanity.com