Mike Rickard
Rickard's Ramblings: Raw is Crap, Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah Days, TNA’s Chance To Shine, Chris Sabin Cup of Coffee Redux, Three Cheers For Christian
By Mike Rickard II
Nov 12, 2006, 18:50

RICKARD’S RAMBLINGS 11/12/06

RAW is Crap/ Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah Days?/TNA’s chance to shine/Chris Sabin Cup of Coffee Redux/shticking it to the fans/Three cheers for Christian

After a long week in court, there’s nothing like rambling on about the latest happenings in the wild and wacky world of professional wrestling.  Help me wind down from lawyer mode to smark mode as I ask a few questions of you, the intelligent wrestling fan.

CROSS EXAMINATION

1. Don’t you wish there was an election last Tuesday to vote the RAW writers out of office?

2. With Batista guest-starring on this week’s episode of Smallville, don’t you think TNA missed the boat by trying to get Christopher Daniels cast as Lex Luthor’s stunt double?

3. Wouldn’t it be great if it turned out John Cena was laying pipe to Britney Spears? 

4. Admit it, you miss the Morphoplex commercials on TNA…

5. What has more spots, a random X Division match or a Jeff Hardy/Johnny Nitro match?

RAW is crap: Last week’s episode of Monday Night RAW seemed to generate a collective groan all over the Internet as fans tuned out of the show early and vented their frustration on the Internet.  While this is certainly nothing new, last week’s show seemed to be the proverbial straw that breaks the camel’s back for many fans.  Between an endless recycling of heel authority figure angles with GM for a night Eric Bischoff, stale interviews, and a lackluster main event; last week’s episode of RAW seemed to highlight everything that is wrong with the WWE.   In last week’s column, I talked about how I no longer watch SmackDown! on a regular basis after years of bad programming.  RAW seems headed for the same fate as it continues to eat away at the fans’ goodwill.  Wrestling fans are a patient lot but as the demise of Monday Night Nitro proved, their patience is not endless. 

Looks can be deceiving Which brings me to point two about the WWE.   For the last few weeks, people have been talking about how ratings are up, buyrates are up, and things are just Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah.  To quote the late, great Gorilla Monsoon  Gimme a Break!  Time for some reality for those singing about the WWE rising again.  1) Wrestlemania sold out again lickety-split but ask yourself, when hasn’t it sold out in the last few years?  2) Buyrates are up- if buyrates are up, it’s due to the WWE strip-mining its audience by tapping into foreign markets.   If you want to convince me, show me a significant rise in domestic buy rates  3) Ratings are up?  Up to what? 3.6, 3.8, 3.9 for RAW?  Is that really cause for celebration?  If you really think about it, the WWE is treading water right now.  They haven’t done anything in the last few years to even hint at a return to the glory years of the Monday Night War.  Until then, writers and fans need to think before they say business is up.  The WWE is reaching out to every market out there, doing flat business domestically, and pulling in ratings that pale behind what it was doing during its heyday.  Saying the WWE is doing better is like a Buffalo Bills fan saying the Bills are doing better after their win over Green Bay last week. 

Two steps forward and three steps back?  Despite my fondness for TNA’s product, longtime readers know I’m frustrated at TNA’s ability to shoot itself in the foot just when it’s poised for greatness.  This Thursday marks an event that IMO is TNA’s chance to break free of its troubled past and show the world what it’s all about.  Not only is TNA coming to prime-time this Thursday but it’s got two hours to show its stuff.  Given the white-hot Angle/Joe feud, a bubbling AMW/LAX feud, the absence of Jeff Jarrett on tv (although his name is mentioned) and an all-around talented roster, TNA is in a great spot to grab the attention of fans, especially with its loaded Genesis PPV just three days after Impact.  As Tim Horner mentioned in this week’s Radio Free Insanity, there are over ten million people who used to watch wrestling who don’t watch it now.  I can’t believe that at least some of them couldn’t be brought back if they were exposed to the right product. 

Chris Sabin has a cup of coffee with the X Division Championship Part 2:  After watching this week’s episode of Impact, I have to take back all the bad things I said about TNA booking Chris Sabin dropping the X Division title to A.J. Styles just weeks after he won the belt.  I felt the title loss was way too soon and it seemed like TNA was burying Sabin after pushing him to the top of the X Division.   Turns out I was wrong as TNA is keeping Sabin in the limelight by turning him heel and running a program with Sabin versus Styles.  So far, Sabin’s heel turn has been booked divinely with Sabin being shown as a young punk with no respect for the wrestlers who made the X Division what it is today. 

Cornette out at ROH-well, it looks like Jim Cornette’s storyline as the evil commissioner of Ring of Honor is finally over.  While it’s always great to see Cornette in wrestling, I’m still kind of surprised that ROH went with the evil authority figure angle.  It just didn’t feel right for a promotion which tends to stay away from gimmickry and sports entertainment angles.  Speaking of the evil authority figure shtick, it’s one that really needs to be retired.  Granted, when Eric Bischoff and Vince McMahon ran with the idea, they really got their money’s worth out of it (especially Vince with the legendary Austin vs. McMahon feud).  Now, it’s more clichéd than ever and really in need of being retired.   I don’t know what’s more tired, men kissing asses on RAW, the evil GM shtick, or Divas being forced to wrestle monsters.

Kudos to Christian: While fans of Christian Cage were thrilled to see him in TNA, his babyface run as NWA champion just didn’t feel right.  His promos were funny and he was over but everyone knew something was missing.  Like “Rowdy” Roddy Piper used to say, “When I’m good I’m very good but when I’m bad I’m better”.  Likewise for Christian Cage.  Few people can play the cocky heel as well as Christian.  He’s got the right size, the ability to bump, and the cutting humor that infuriates fans and entertains them at the same time.  Cage is the kind of talker who can get people to buy tickets to see him get his ass kicked.