3. Doink the Clown-while the idea of an evil clown was kind of cool, the WWE soon fouled things up by turning Doink face and teaming him with a midget sidekick named Dink. Hilarities did NOT ensue.

4. The Smoking Gunns-the WWF’s tag team ranks sucked and so did their blue jeans wearing cap pistol-firing champions.

5. Todd Pettengill-blast Michael Cole all you want but he looks like Dan Rather compared to the clownish Pettengill. At his best, Pettengill reminded you of a used car salesman. At his worst, he made you wish for closed captioning for the hearing impaired.

6. Giant Gonzales- wrestling fans will forever debate who was the worst big man in wrestling. Gonzales’ godawful feud with the Undertaker paved the way for another talentless giant, the Great Khali. Add in his freakishly pornographic bodysuit and there’s reason why people tell their kids “Behave or Giant Gonzales is coming back to the WWE”.

7. Friar Ferguson-long before those two happy go-lucky Arab-Americans Hassan and Daivari inspired public outrage, the WWF drew outrage with the wrestling monk known as Friar Ferguson. Apparently the world was not quite ready for a wrestling monk as Ferguson’s character drew the ire of the Catholic Church. The WWF repackaged him overnight as Bastion Booger, a nose-picking gassy slob who no doubt paved the way for comedian Artie Lange.

Of course, things could always be worse and that they were over at “rival” promotion World Championship Wrestling (WCW). There, Ted Turner’s ‘rassling company tried to duplicate the WWF’s success by copying the WWF’s circus atmosphere. Unfortunately they somehow managed to copy everything bad about the cartoonish wrestlers without incorporating any of the elements that made them (somewhat) watchable:

1. P.N. News- Combine the rap skills of Todd Grisham with the in-ring ability of Mark Henry and this rapper/wrestler made Men on a Mission look like N.W.A.

2. The York Foundation-not only did WCW manage to make the then smoking hot Terri Runnels unattractive but they found a gimmick for wrestler Terry Taylor that almost rivaled “The Red Rooster” in stupidity. Taylor became Terrance Taylor “The Computerized Man of the 90’s”, a character who soon suffered a systems crash. The cheesy heel faction also took the careers of Ricky Morton and Tommy Rich to new lows as they became Richard Morton and Thomas Rich.

3. The Black Scorpion-combine the prestidigitation of the guy doing magic at Pizzaria Uno with the wrestling skills of Nathan Jones and you have the Black Scorpion. This man in black terrorized Sting for several months and apparently scared away viewers too as WCW teased he was a man from his past (hinting it might be the Ultimate Warrior among other names tossed about) out to gain revenge on Sting. In the end, they said screw it and ret conned things so Ric Flair was revealed to be the Scorpion.

4. Hulk Hogan destroys Vader- for years, the man they call Vader had been one of the bright spots in an often dismal WCW. Vader was the monster heel who held the WCW Championship in a death grip, routinely demolishing babyfaces and driving fans to desperation as they hoped for someone to defeat him. WCW did a superb job building Vader up as the ultimate monster heel and his power bomb finisher was the perfect complement. The arrival of Hulk Hogan in WCW created lots of anticipation as fans expected some wild matches between Vader and Hogan (It also inspired the then blossoming Internet Wrestling Community to cry out “Shoot Vader, Shoot” with the hope that Vader would show Hogan who’s boss). Sadly, Hogan had other plans and he destroyed what could have been a good program by no-selling Vader’s power bomb during a match. Hogan sat up immediately after Vader power-bombed him; not only destroying Vader’s air of invincibility but killing what could have been a huge money-making feud.

Looking back, wrestling has definitely seen more dismal days but it’s cold comfort to fans looking for some entertainment in their sports entertainment. Given the many years of experience promoting wrestling, one would think Vince McMahon could put on a decent show without even trying. In the end, the biggest disappointment with the WWE isn’t that it’s bad right now. The real dismay is that the WWE has one of the greatest rosters in its history and yet this seems to be the best that they can do.