THE SHOW

Batista def. Gregory Helms in a "Does this make Batista a Cruiserweight Title contender?" match

After a recap of the last fortnight's worth of shenanigans between Kennedy, Batista and The Undertaker, which I won't bore you with by re-recapping it, it is Deacon Dave who kicks off the show, and he's dressed for action. And tonight's victim? Gregory Helms... Beats being Boogeyman's bee-yatch, I suppose...

Indeed, Helms actually got to cut a promo while he comes down the aisle, where Helms pointed out that this Sunday, Batista will be losing the title. And in fact, it wasn't a total squash by Batista, as Helms actually took it to Batista for the first couple of minutes. It must have been to do with the doo-rag...

However, Helms came off the ropes, only to walk into the Spinebuster, which was followed up by a spear, which was followed by the Batista Bomb, and that was that. At least Batista had the good grace to sell an eye poke after picking up the win...

Thoughts - 5/10 - It wasn't a squash, but it only went around 3 and a half minutes, so it hardly is as if they could put on a classic. It was Ok for what it was.

Chris Benoit def. Mike Mizanin in a "MIZ IN GOOD MATCH SHOCKER!" match

As Cole and JBL tell the audience that the six men who will feature in tonight's main event will wrestle in singles matches against another person from the match, we have our first one right away. And the first of those men is Chris Benoit, who I have to say looks rather "natty" in black. In a VERY cool touch, as Benoit came out, they recapped Benoit's Rumble win from 2004. What they didn't point out, however, is that while Benoit won it as a Smackdown wrestler, he immediately jumped ship to RAW...

And he seemed to get a good draw, as his opponent was Mike Mizanin. This one started out pretty evenly, although you'd have to say Benoit got the better of it. However, when Miz pulled Benoit into the ropes, he began to take over, hitting a nice neckbreaker for a 2 count. Miz followed that up with a back suplex for another 2 count. He slowed things down with a chinlock, but when Benoit began to fight out of it, Miz hit a bodyslam for a near fall. interestingly, during this time, Cole and JBL talk about the Vince McMahon and Donald Trump angle. And even more coincidentally, the second they stopped talking is when Benoit hit the Triple Germans. Benoit hit the now apparently christened "Air Benoit", but Miz got his foot on the bottom rope. However, it wasn't long before Benoit had Miz in position for a Crossface. Miz tried to fight it, but it was locked in and promptly tapped out to.

Thoughts - 6.5/10 - Well, suffice to say, this saw Miz being better than in pretty much every single one of his matches combined. I quite liked it. If they allowed Benoit to help Miz come along, maybe even putting them in a prolonged feud, and we could see some good stuff.

How Eddie's gimmick would have worked in the 50's...

Deuce & Domino were checking themselves out in the mirror, when Cherry rolled up them. They walked, and bumped into some guy backstage, who told them their car was ready. They chide him for touching their car, and for looking at Cherry. They then walk on. In fact, it was funny watching the guys walk while seeing Cherry moving alongside them with without moving her legs... Devil woman...

Deuce & Domino def. Wes Adams & John Robinson in a "If only The Funs kicked Richie like that..." match

After seeing Maryse sip on Champagne by the fire (whereas I'm on Coke in a freezing bedroom), the Greasers came out in their car. And screw Melina and Ariel, Cherry's in-ring entry is my favourite now. But boy, can Deuce and Domino trash talk? Their mouths got a better work out than their bodies, more than likely. Once again, the offence was fairly basic, although Deuce hit a FREAKIN' SWEET jumping heel kick. And once again, the match ended with a vicious kick to the face by Deuce.

Thoughts - 5/10 - Well, it was hardly a classic, but I'm digging the smashmouth style that they've shown thus far. And some Cryme Tyme-style vignettes would help get the characters over.

And the award for best, yet bizarre-est, use of the word "tabernacle" does to...

MVP was to be found nose to nose with Teddy Long. MVP was complaining about how he was suffering still from his burns, and he was refusing to work tonight. Long said that if he didn't, he wouldn't be in the main event, and it also meant that he wouldn't be in the Rumble on Sunday, ending his threat with "And that's tabernacle, MVP". Not entirely sure what the point of it was, but hey, it didn't do any harm either.

Booker & Finlay fought to some sort of non-result in a "Take a wild guess..." match

Booker is half-way to the ring as we come back from break, with Finlay's Lil’ Bastard watching from under the ring apron, and with THE NOSE~! joining Cole and JBL on commentary. JBL explains this match away by pointing out that the Rumble will be every man for himself. Laos, neither man really wrestled as a baby face in any way. However it was pretty even as the offence went back and forth. Booker got the best of the early exchanges, but Finlay powered back. Booker then hit a back kick to regain control. Finlay then tripped Booker up and started working over Booker's left unit, using the ropes liberally. to do so. However, Booker got in a thrust kick to turn the tide. However, both men collided in the corner. The Lil' Bastard then put in an appearance, chasing Sharmell from ringside, before trying to drag her under the ring. This prompted Booker and then Finlay to bail, and the match was...well, thrown out? There wasn't a DQ, and if there were a 10 count, then it was a damn speedy one.

Thoughts - This was pretty good stuff from the two of them, although I seriously have no idea what that finish was supposed to be. I can only guess it was supposed to be a 10 count, but the bell came FAR too fast for it. Other than that no, nothing to complain about here.

MNM & Melina def. Paul London, Brian Kendrick & Ashley in a "Did Jeff forget to show up to work again?" match

And once again, MNM made their way out to a Smackdown ring. And once again, they are facing the team they lost the Tag Titles (prompting their original break up) to. Well, those two and Ashley, anyway. And let's be thankful that a Hardyz vs. MNM match isn't consigned to the crapfest that was the ECW PPV.

London and Nitro start out, as the current tag champions went to their usual tactic sheet, making quick tags, with the guy coming in coming off the top rope onto their opponents arm. However, Melina kicked London while he was going for a Springboard something-or-other, which allowed M & N to work over the man no-one wants to see die. However, London managed to make the tag to Spanky, who launched into MNM with heel kicks and dropkicks. When Melina stopped Kendrick from taking a running jump over the top, Ashley ran in, with a spear that Batista would probably be envious of, taking Melina down. However, she managed to get back in the ring to break up a babyface pin attempt. As the referee got rid of Melina, Nitro and Mercury hit the Snapshot on Kendrick for the three count, and there wasn't a sight of a Hardy nowhere.

Thoughts - This felt very short (even shorter than the 5 and a bit minutes it went), but it was the usual really good stuff while it lasted. I could complain about the champions jobbing out to a team that don't work together regularly anymore, but they do have history together, and it's not as if MNM are a threat, so I can let this slide. I was VERY surprised that neither Hardy showed up however...

HALLELUJAH!!!

And we, in the UK, dip into the Vault once again. However, this time, instead of it being a Booker match, a Lashley match, a Booker vs. Lashley match or even anything from 2006, it's Undertaker vs. John Cena from APRIL 2003!!! In case you're wondering, Undertaker was still on the motorcycle and Cena was in his heel rapper period. We join the match already in progress, with Cena working over the arm, which Undertaker was due to get worked on in hospital. Cena pulled the referee in the way of Taker, and hit a spinebuster. He then went for an FU (although it was still un-named at that point) although Undertaker rolled out into a Last Ride. At that point, the FBI of Nunzio, chuck Palumbo and Johnny Stamboli came in and gave Undertaker a real good working over. So much so, in fact, that Cena is able to crawl over, lay an arm over Taker and win! Man, an FBI attack working on Undertaker. You wouldn't think it could happen today...

And damn it, if this wasn't really refreshing to see. More stuff like this please...

Paging the Champion and the Number One Contender to the ring...and Ken Kennedy...

"KENNEDY!" is the sound we heard coming back from break. As he came out, we got the self same recap that we got at the beginning of the show. Don't ask me why, because I don't know. however, when we came back, he was only just calling for his microphone. He said that last week he, once again, beat undertaker, and that on Sunday, he would beat Batista, once again. He then brings up the "I’ve beaten six World Champions" stat, and that acts out how things will be declared when he wins the title. However, just as he was finishing off, Batista interrupted.

Batista main point was that he wanted Kennedy to slap him again. However, before Kennedy could do that, the lights went out, the gong gonged, the lights came back on and Undertaker was there. Undertaker threw up a big boot at Kennedy. However, Kenneth ducked and Taker hit Batista. Kennedy ran up the ramp, leaving Taker and Batista staring up the ramp.

I almost forgot about this guy...

After the second Maryse clip, this time with her on the bed, Cole was in the crowd, with Vladimir Kozlov. Cole asked Kozlov about who he'll be signing for. Kozlov said that negotiations were on-going, but he wished to compete in the Rumble on Sunday, because he would be able to eliminate the other 29 guys. He seemed a bit pissy this week too, rather than the Eugene-like figure with the goofy smile. He still said he loved the "Double Double E" though...

The (new) mystery deepens...

Long was on the phone when Kristal came into the room. She flirted a little and then left. There was a knock at the door. It was Vicki Guerrero. She said she wanted to talk with Teddy, but could see he was busy, so left again...

I just want to state this right now, given how Vicki and Kristal talked privately last week, this isn't some sort of scheme to get Long done up on some sort of sexual harassment deal...

Is the Rumble tonight?

Man, they really are putting a TON of effort into promoting the main event tonight. This time, they focused on Kane's exploits in the Rumble match over the years. And man, I think that every single man named when eliminated is no longer with the company! Cool bit though.

Kane def. MVP by DQ in a "What was he gonna use as a lighter?" match

MVP, this week, has his body suit fully zipped up tonight, although he probably shouldn't have bothered given the light blue and purple colouring... Kane, on the other hand, laughs as Porter limps down to ringside. Montel tried begging off once the bell rang. however, Kane caught MVP with a punch to the back, and started working over the "burnt" area, including digging his elbow and knee into the wounds. Kane then appeared to agree with my assessment of MVP's suit, as Kane started ripping it off, exposing the bandages, including some shots of the wound weeping through the bandage. MVP tried to bail, but Kane stalked him down, and brought him back to the ring. However, MVP wriggled off of Kane's shoulder and sent him into the corner, hitting the running boot in the process. MVP pounded on Kane with stomps, before going outside, where Kane got whipped into the steps. Back in the ring, Kane took over again, with a huge back-body drop and clotheslines in the corner. Kane looked to finish MVP off, but MVP got to the apron. Kane dropkicked Porter off the apron, and got him primed for a Chokeslam, through the announce table. Porter got out of it, and hit Kane with a chair, drawing a DQ bell. With Kane down, MVP headed under the ring, and retrieved a petrol can. However, before anything was done with it, Kane sat up and kicked Porter down. Kane grabbed the can, sending Porter from the ring, as Kane's music played.

Thoughts - This was OK, although they've had better meetings before now. I can only assume that they are going to continue on, given the petrol can development, but they've done better.

Let RAW recap the RAW stuff, guys. And that includes when the RAW guys can't do it...

Cole narrated the table spot by Umaga on Cena, talking about "severe abdominal injuries" (although no spleens were mentioned), before going over the title matches and Rumble match.

Undertaker kinda won the "Trust the guy who was not in the match to stand tall..." Over The Top rope Challenge

The Smackdown theme then kicks in, as both Kane and Chris Benoit come out together, as if they were a tag team for the main event.

As we return from our final break, King Booker was climbing the steps, as the last man to come in. Kane chased MVP around the ring, drawing him into it as the match began. While there was too much action going on to narrate cleanly, generally, they paired off into MVP & Kane, Finlay & Miz and Benoit & Booker. However, a couple of minutes in, Kane was actually eliminated first, after a shillelagh shot by Finlay. Miz was the next to get dumped out by Finlay when the Irishman tossed him over the top. however, now so long after that, the lights went out again. The gong gonged again and the lights came back on again to reveal Undertaker in the ring.

Undertaker proceeded to clean house, with each guy getting some sort of signature move. Once he did that, it was time to clear out the ring. Benoit was clotheslined out. Finlay followed soon after that, immediately followed by MVP. Miz then took a Last Ride. With everyone somewhat down and out, smoke began to spew, Undertaker got in his pose and the lights turned ultraviolet as the show ended. Technically, Undertaker didn't win, since Booker wasn't eliminated (at least not so I noticed), but I ain't gonna say that to his face...

Thoughts - This was fine for what it was, and the undertaker involvement was a surprise, at least when the spoilers came out. I mean, from the second that a Batista vs. undertaker match was mooted, I've called him as being the Rumble winner, and I still hold firm in that belief, despite the hype Shawn Michaels has gotten, so this did well at putting Taker over as a contender, since until this point, he hasn't been mentioned in the same breath as the Rumble match. he been purely involved in the World Title feud, even though he isn't fighting for the belt, and after Khali got put over in RAW's Rumble-preview and RVD likewise on Tuesday night, as well as HBK's actions on Monday, Smackdown needed to "front" with their main guy.

OVERALL - 6.5/10 (+/- 0 on last week) - In a normal week, I would say that this was a notch down on last week, overall, but they had a Royal Rumble PPV to hype the hell out of, so the show can be forgiven for having shorter matches than usual, even if there were more than usual here. That’s not to say the matches were bad, or anything like that (hell, Miz managed to have something of a career day!), it’s just that they weren’t as meaningful as they normally are.

It’ll be interesting to see where things go next week, as the Royal Rumble show represents something of a reset in the WWE as most feuds form for Wrestlemania from this point onwards. Also, Smackdown has the one PPV in between the Rumble and Wrestlemania, so things should get interesting…

However, I would say, if you’re not a big Undertaker, I would consider reading spoilers before you see the show, because I have a feeling you’re gonna see a whole lot more of him than even now.

That’s all I got for now, but if you have something to say about this week’s Smackdown, you can e-mail me at dedicated e-mail address, or come hunt me down on the WWI Forums!

OR, you can find me along with the rest of the dribbling masses on MY OWN MYSPACE PAGE!

Well, I’ll be back soon enough, but for now, I believe I’ve fulfilled my contractual obligations. For reading this, And continuing to support World Wrestling Insanity, you’re cooler than the other side of the pillow…

I’m out.