Smackdown
Aaron Wood's Smackdown - The Deacon & The Taker vs. The Edge & The Orton
By Aaron Wood
Feb 16, 2007, 19:40

LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN:  Kennedy had WCW-flashback by claiming to be “Buzzkill”, Miz had to check his underwear and Daivari looked lonely…

THIS WEEK…

Boogeyman def. Finlay in a "The world's first ever simultaneous RE-match AND PRE-match?" match

After we kick off with much the same video as we've seen at the top of the last few Smackdowns (although to be fair, this one has more of a No Way Out flavour, which makes sense this given week), we forgo the nuisance of opening credits, hype some RAW teams making appearances, before kicking off with a match that we not only saw last week, but are due to see again on Sunday!  And you thought Lashley vs. Test happened often enough?!?!?!

Finlay decided to just get on with things, attacking Boogeyman as he came out first, jumping the freaky dude from behind, ramming him into the side of the ring and then into the ring steps.  Finlay kept on top of Boogeyman as the match officially got under way, as Cole & JBL talk about how Finlay had "The Puzzle Of The Boogeyman" solved, where many others, including Bradshaw himself, had failed.  Boogeyman tried to comeback, and got going well, but Finlay dodged a charge, allowing Finlay back in.  Finlay went to loosen a turnbuckle, but Chris Kay was wise to it.  Finlay then went for his shillelagh,  but the ref stopped him too.  This drew out The Little Bastard (with a cracking, but probably fake, beard) with a big shillelagh.  However, as the leprechaun swung and missed, a MINI-BOOGEYMAN appeared and speared Finlay little guy.  As the ref dealt with them, Big Boogeyman jabbed his stick into Finlay's gut and picked up the win!

The Boogeymen made their way up the aisle, while the Irish pair were astounded in the ring, with the bigger sharing his worms with his little fella.  And yes, The Mini Boogeyman ate them too!

Thoughts - 5/10 - The match wasn't much, but this was fantastically silly stuff.  And at least it means that it will be a rubber match at the PPV, although I have a sneaking suspicion that we could see it turned into a tag match...

Just in case you forgot about RAW airing on Thursday and saw a dog show, or in the case of TNA's offering, a dog of a show...see what I did there?  Words are my bitch!

Since RAW officially aired on Thursday, we get a meaty recap of the stuff between Vince and "The Donald" on RAW, where, if you hadn't heard, each man will pick a guy (you can probably read that as Lashley vs. Khali), and the losing billionaire will get their head shaved.  The Weave or The Wig goes!  It's just a shame that they didn't include any of the times when Vince tried to say WWE...and failed miserably each time...

Deuce def. Brian Kendrick in a "Just another reason why the right booking prevailed..." match

As Deuce (and his gang) made his way out, Cole explained about how the Tag title match was changed, and I say it was the right booking.  Deuce was all over Spanky in the early going, working him over, as only a 50's street tough can.  Kendrick started a comeback, but Domino held a leg.  London levelled Domino, but as he argued with the ref, Spanky went up top, only to get knocked off by a recovered Domino, leading to a stiff sounding "Crack 'em In The Mouth", giving Jimmy Snuka's boy the win, heading into the PPV.

Thoughts - 6/10 - This was OK enough.  Nothing that we haven't really seen before though. 

I preferred it when the part of Goldust was played by Goldust...

Remember when Booker  & Goldust did a bit where they would review movies?  Well, it made a surprise comeback, with THE NOSE~! in the Golden one's place.  Damn...  Anyway, Booker comes in and says that they will be reviewing See No Evil.  A clip ensues, which sees Kane beat up some crappy actors.  We come back to see Booker and THE NOSE~! urinating themselves in laughter, before Booker claims to show us how it would have been scary if the King himself were in the film.  Cue Booker standing in front of a green screen, doing some stupid bits on top of the clip.

They came back, and the lights start flickering before turning red.  Kane's voice can then be heard reminding everyone that No Way Out was on Sunday, before the curtain behind the royal duo  had a knife come through it to reveal Kane himself behind it.  Well, at least I can say at long last that I've watched a bit of Smackdown that totally blew monkey chunks.  I mean, what exactly was the point of it?  They didn't show a particularly scary clip (as I said, just Kane beating on some people smaller than him), and then had Booker mugging it up for camera which was completely painful to watch.  Are we supposed to back Kane for Booker's mocking of it, despite the fact it's not that good a film?

More stuff that happened last night (or Monday everywhere else)...

We got a chunky old recap of RAW's main event, pitting this Sunday's PPV main event against Rated RKO, Kennedy & MVP, including the aftermath with the RAW Main Event staring at the lights at the hands of their Smackdown counterparts.

After that, we got a quick bit with HBK & Cena reiterating that they had each other's backs.

The Rockers Of Thuganomics (a.k.a. De-GenerCena X) def. Mr. Kennedy & MVP in a "Finally!  HBK works Smackdown!" match

Indeed, there is so much RAW on this show, Cole had to reassure us of what day and show it is.  I know I'm sounding a bit down on all the RAW stuff happening, but it's all in jest.  It makes sense, especially given the weekend's Main Event.  And suffice to say, Washington likes Cena, as he got a HUGE reaction on coming out.

Well, as RAW was a testament to, it seems as though we're gonna forget all about MVP's burnt back, as he was hopping around as if nothing were wrong.  Either way, he at least started this one on the apron, as HBK & Kennedy started off.  Both teams tagged out for a shirt spell, but things returned to HBK & Kennedy, at which point Michaels looked to his signature moves, with the nip up and top rope elbow, before he started tuning up the band.  However, Kennedy ducked out of it as we went to a break.

Coming back, Michaels is in control, but he soon tagged out to Cena, who took over with a fisherman's suplex, before Michaels stuck in a boot for Cena to stick Kennedy's face into.  Kennedy was able to tag out to MVP, and then helped his team take control of the match by pushing the ropes apart as HBK headed towards them, sending Michaels to the outside, allowing the heels to get something of a beating on Shawn.  Kennedy did a lot of the work, including a vicious boot in the corner, but MVP did his fair share of the work, including HIS trademark boot in the corner.  Kennedy went to a sleeper, but HBK got out of it.  Kennedy hit a ground-level version of his rolling Samoan Drop, but missed the Kenton Bomb, allowing HBK to make the hot tag.  Cena cleaned house, tossing Kennedy over the top rope and hitting the 5-Knuckle Shuffle on MVP.  Kennedy came in with a chair, but Michael hit Sweet Chin Music on him, and Cena hit the FU on MVP, giving the RAW Tag Champions the duke.

Thoughts - 7.5/10 - Entertaining fare here.  Nothing surprising or spectacular, but just some good ol' action that never got boring and was done in front of a nicely hot crowd.

Any sexual harassment angle is gonna be a bitch to prove if they keep going like this, you know...

Kristal is with Teddy debating the merits of the talent contest, albeit not that the idea of it sucks, but that she didn't know what to do.  Jillian came in doing her chipmunk-singing, saying she didn't know what song she was going to do, and that she might rap.

Kristal then, for whatever reason, decided to strip.  Teddy tried to remain dignified...

What is given with one hand, is taken away with the other

And after some great stuff form the UK-exclusive "From The Vault" bit, one could have some high hopes at this point.  So imagine my horror when this week, we didn't go back seven years, but in fact, we went back seven EPISODES, to the Booker & Finlay vs. Kane & Undertaker match from December 22nd last year!!!

I'm not going to even comment on it.  If you're that interested, just hit the link:  The Sons of Bearer vs. King Booker & Finlay

They should just re-air RAW at this rate...

And just to round up the important events of this week's RAW, we get a recap of the first inductee in this year's Hall Of Fame class, and frankly, the current saviour of WWE TV programming, Dusty Rhodes.  Well, I say that.  We didn't see any of his bit from RAW, where he got beaten up by Umaga.

Shouldn't they put this on an ECW-only PPV?  Oh wait...we don't want one of those happening...  No Way Out it is!

Kristal, who is topless (but with her back to camera), takes her leave (we see Regal's wang, but can't see Kristal's what-nots?!?!?!).  Before long, Bobby Lashley showed up.  Before long, Ken Kennedy showed up, annoyed about what had happened.  He then went on to challenge Lashley to an ECW Title match at No Way Out.  Long said he'd see what he could do.  Lashley wanted it to happen.

A new tack...

We then get a PSA form John Cena asking us not to try what they do at home.  Interesting idea there.  I mean, the kids like Cena, and so, in theory, will do what he says, rather than be intimidated by being shown some of the crash-and-burns that have happened, and wrestlers rolling around in pain.

Note to the 14 year old boys of the world.  That's the cover of a magazine you ain't getting to buy...  Note to the 14 year old boys of the UK.  That would have been the cover of a magazine you ain't getting to buy...if you had gotten to see it.

Yawn.  As is usual on these occasion where something is promoted which isn't all that available in the UK, we got the bit wiped form the show.  Let me take a stab at it though.

Ashley came out, talked about how hard she worked, how much of an honour it was to be chosen to appear in Playboy (as if it were the first time, which it isn't, is it Ms. McKenzie?), before the curtain was lifted off of the easel with the cover on it, where she appeared, fully covered up, and the whole bit was rather boring.  Heel Run-in optional, depending on angle, which in this case didn't happen, because that's not the way things are going this year.

Gregory Helms & Scotty Taylor fought to a No Contest in a "I would wonder why a recently traded wrestler was back, but given what happened next, I don't think I'll bother..."  match

And so,, after all this time with the belt on his waist, Gregory Helms finally got some new music.  He was also, for the first time, wearing camouflage-patterned tights.  And he was facing RAW wrestler, Scotty Taylor.  Not that that was mentioned, as if he was never part of the RAW or on Heat or anything.

Thing is, the fortnight sojourn on RAW seemed to have done Scotty some good, as instead of taking a beating like he should have done, he got a lot of the offence before a Worm attempt was interrupted by Daivari!  Who took a bulldog by Funaki!  Who took a pair of the knees to the gut from Jamie Noble.  Who ate a twisting moonsault from ECW's "Prince Of Punk", Shannon Moore!  Who took a from Helms!  Wait...he was already there.  But he got caught by Jimmy Wang Yang, who rolled Helms back in the ring, giving him his Moonsault!

Thoughts - 4/10 - If I were biased, this would score a big fat nothing, for having Scotty not only getting most of the offence, but on the show at all.  I danced the day it was revealed he had been moved to RAW.  I really did.  Anyway, it must be that time of year again where they realise they have no option but to throw every Cruiserweight in the company at the Champion, lest they give him an angle or anything...

That has to be a rib on someone.  I'd like to think it was JBL, but it was probably just a rib on the viewers...

So, for the first time this week, we get a Maryse clip, of her in the bath.  And then we see another bath...and just to make sure TNA didn't have the monopoly of Big Fat Oily Guy's this week, it had BIG DICK JOHNSON IN IT!!!!  I have to admit, I laughed.  I knew it was coming, and I still laughed. 

I was right!

They then ran down the No Way Out card as it stood, and a match had been changed.  No, we knew about the Tag Title match.  I mean, it was now Boogeyman & Mini-Boogeyman vs. Finlay & The Little Bastard.  Comedy goodness, perhaps?

The Wrestlemania Main Event def. Rated RKO in a "I'm too traumatised by seeing Big Dick take a bath to write anything funny here..." match

After hearing Rated RKO's dastardly plan for the evening, we moved to our main event.  Well, after a commercial break we did anyway...

Undertaker and Edge started, officially, but he took it to both his opponents, hitting Edge with Old School before tagging in Batista, who also got himself some of his former Evolutionary brother, Orton.  Orton came in, but Batista sent them both over the top as we took our final break.  coming back, Batista was still in control (must have taken notes form HBK).  Even Orton's attempts at cheating didn't work, as he was just knocked off the apron.  However, while out there himself, Orton managed to hit his backbreaker variation, as JBL stumbled over pointing out that they weren't just former World Champions but also former Tag Champs.  The Orton Stomp got 2, but Undertaker broke it up.  The heels continued to work over Batista.  Dave almost got across to Undertaker, after hitting something of a Black Hole Slam (what is it with WWE Champions ripping off Abyss this week?) , but was initially stopped.  He eventually managed to get the Deadman in though, who cleaned house.  The referee went down, but it didn't stop Taker form hitting Snake Eyes and a Big Boot.  However, Orton managed to distract undertaker long enough to eat a spear from Edge.  Edge set up for a ConChairTo but Taker sat up.  Orton hit a low blow to keep things interesting.  He then blasted Taker with a chair and went to get the ref revived.  Charles Robinson ran in for the count, but only counted 2.  Batista came back in and went for the Batista Bomb on Orton.  however, he ate an Edge spear too, but Edge then hit a chokeslam on the Rated-R guy, followed by a Tombstone for the 3.

Thoughts - 7/10 - Once again, like the match similar to this one in this show, it was entertaining fare, if not exactly spectacular.  It wasn't surprising either that Rated RKO got in more sustained offence than Kennedy & MVP did.  But that being said, they still hardly gave Batista that much of a beating.

After the match, the RAW half of this Sunday's Main Event hit the ring, and hit finishers on Undertaker and Batista to get payback for the end of RAW!

OVERALL - 7/10 (+/- 0 on last week) - This was pretty good stuff, once again, especially for a “go home” show.  Sure, the Booker/Kane bit sucked all kinds of ass, but the action made up for it.

Anyway, some predictions ahead of Sunday!

Cena & HBK vs. Undertaker & Batista – I’m going with the Smackdown guys here.  But either way, I fully expect that Undertaker and Batista will be at each other’s throats by the end of the show, if not both teams (although the RAW pair are less likely given their championship status).  Should be a good match with some interesting match-ups though.

Kendrick & London vs. Deuce & Domino - Normally the champions take non-title losses and come through in the crunch.  Not this time however.  I think that the heels will win, setting the faces on the road to destruction over Ashley.

Finlay & Little Bastard vs. Boogeyman & Mini-Boogeyman - This should be some fun filler.  Finlay should get the win though, to keep things respectable.

King Booker vs. Kane - my hopes for this match wane by the second.  In theory, you’ve got 2 good hands going out there, but the build has been so dull that I’m not excited.  I’ll take Booker by shenanigans.

Ken Kennedy vs. Bobby Lashley - In theory, this should be an easy pick of a Lashley win.  However, I wonder if they have the stones to change the title here.  I look at it this way.  Lashley is the prime candidate to be Donald Trump’s guy at Wrestlemania.  Ken Kennedy has sod all in the pipeline, and an ECW Title run does just that.  Sure, it goes against current booking (with Holly as the main contender), and won’t happen in all likelihood, but if I had the book, I’d be tempted…

Diva Talent Contest - Sweet lord, this isn’t gonna be good.  All I know is that I know when I’m gonna pee.

That’s all I got for now, but if you have something to say about this week’s Smackdown, you can e-mail me at dedicated e-mail address, or come hunt me down on the WWI Forums!

OR, you can find me along with the rest of the dribbling masses on MY OWN MYSPACE PAGE!

Well, I’ll be back soon enough, but for now, I believe I’ve fulfilled my contractual obligations.  For reading this, And continuing to support World Wrestling Insanity, you’re cooler than the other side of the pillow…

I’m out.