Many of the wrestling fans have been talking about my recent interviews regarding my participation in WrestleMania this year. I appeared on a highly rated radio show - not as highly rated as the Apprentice which airs on NBC Sunday nights, but highly rated nonetheless - and spoke about meeting Bobby Lindsay and a seven foot fella named Hindu. (WWE Note: Bobby Lashley and The Great Khali.) I'm not sure why it caused such a stir, but I suppose it's because when Donald Trump speaks, people listen. Screw E.F. Hutton. That guy's a tool.

Anyway, Vince asked me to host this new show for his TV network. Why? Because, just like the Apprentice - on NBC Sundays - this show will become a major success. When you want success, you come to me - Donald Trump. When you don't want success, you go to someone else. So here I am. It's time for…

WWE 24/7 presents….Donald Trump's History of WrestleMania

Professional Wrestling began in 1983 as a spin-off from roller derby and boxing. At the time, the young industry only had a handful of wrestlers at their disposal. Such big names as Hulkamania Hogan, Erik Estrada, Stone Cold, the little Asian kid from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, and Shadoe Stevens were already a part of the wrestling business, however Vince McMahon wanted to take things to another level because that's what successful people do. They don't sit back and allow life to happen, they make it happen. That's what I do on the Apprentice - NBC Sundays.

WrestleMania 1 was a natural decision for Vince. The event was held in the Pontiac Square Arena, in the heart of New York City, and over 490,000 fans filled the seats to watch the major event. Vince, as usual, was on top of his game and gave the fans a night of bodyslammin' action they couldn't find anywhere else.

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Mick Foley is talking. What about? Himself, silly. This time around, he's doing it to tell us about his upcoming book, Hardcore Diaries. He also seems to like Katie Couric a lot. Personally, I think Brian Williams could take her in a fight, so I watch him. I choose my favorite news broadcasters the way I choose my favorite wrestlers.

1. Jeff Hardy pinned Shelton Benjamin after a Swanton Bomb in a Money in the Bank Qualifier match

This was great. They did pre-match introductions while both men stood in the ring. The buildup helped to make people excited about what they were about to see. Another notable thing is that Shelton came to the ring to his World's Greatest Tag Team music and not "Ain't no stopping me nnnnnnneeeeeoooowwwww!" They started the match with some mat wrestling and the crowd really got behind Jeff for a while. Ross and Lawler reminded viewers of what happened to Jeff Hardy last week. The funny thing? I forgot about it. He lost the Intercontinental Title and was pounded into oatmeal by Umaga. Ouch. This week, he had more offense to offer. Then, out of nowhere, things took a quick and nasty turn.

Shelton Benjamin rushed to the apron and tried to spring in off the top rope, but slipped. He fell straight down on his head and looked like he broke in half at first. (JG Note:  Although in replays, it didn't look as bad.)  Hardy quickly covered and Benjamin - get this - got his shoulder up. Not sure if it was instinct or what. Seemed like they called an audible and went to the finish. The most recent IC Champion hit his Twist of Fate and then a Swanton Bomb to pin the freshly broken Mr. Benjamin.

Jeff's going into the Money in the Bank Match at WrestleMania alongside CM Punk, Edge, and King Booker. This year's MITB challenge will feature 8 wrestlers going for a year-long title shot.

As Hardy walked up the aisle, Vince McMahon appeared on the big Titan Tron screen. Vince is here to gloat in Jeff's fluorescent face over his loss to Umaga last week. You know who Umaga is, kid? He's Vince's rep against Donald Trump's rep at Mania. The loser gets his head shaved. With that, Mr. McMahon shows off the photoshopped Trump haircut pictures from last week. This time he uses the name "Hulk Hogan" when showing the "Brother Look." Not sure what the point of it all was. Maybe they were killing time. It looked like Shelton took a nasty spill in the ring. Hopefully he's alright. If this quick rerun of the "Donald Would Look Like This If He Were Bald" segment was thrown in to make up for the shortened match, then that's fine. If not, then it was pretty pointless.

Cooooomercial Break….Break.

Melina is hating on Ashley. Everyone's into her because she's in Playboy. Bah! They should be into Mel. She's the new Women's Champion. Instead, Mick Foley gets attention. Mickie James chooses a "Falls Count Anywhere Match" for next week. Tonight, she has Maria. This sucks! It sucks! It…

"Shut up! Just shut up. I lost my Money in the Bank qualifying match last week. Do yo know how huge that was? I am out of WrestleMania. You should understand how important that is and now I have nothing.  I don't have time for this right now."- Johnny Nitro

Yowser. The Tough Enough winner's music was playing and Mr. TNT Monday Night grabbed his jacket and went to the ring to hand someone their arse. Melina stood there stunned.

Hey man! This place is Super! This place is a Market! It's a Super Market! Ahahahaha!

Please. Shut up.

2. Johnny Nitro vs. Super Crazy never began

This match wasn't a match. It was a demonstration in Johnny Nitro's insanity. Johnny beat the crap out of Super Crazy and things never officially began. Before the bell was rung, Nitro baseball slid from the ring and took the Mexicool out. Following that, he face-flopped him straight to the arena floor. Bam. Match over before it began. You are super. You are hurt. You are super hurt.

Commercial Break. Dead Silence is movie about a dead ventriloquist and her evil dolls. I can't believe they made this entire movie and never stopped to say, "Yo…uh…this is stupid."

3. Melina pinned Maria with a roll-up

Melina screams like crazy when she wrestles. It's like watching women's tennis. I'm sure there's plenty of people out there who unmute the TVs for her matches. Pervs. Anyway, the idea here is that Miss Mel is a nutcase just like the man she's dating. She attacked Maria with reckless abandon and almost earned herself a DQ in the process. Ross called Lina "evil," but Lawler argued that "evil can't look that good." Best line had to be when the Women's Champion placed her challenger in the Camel Clutch and J.R. said she thought she was the Iron Sheik. Nice. Make her humble. Yeah. Giggidy.  Suddenly, though, things turned around. After rallying the fans, Mary nailed a bulldog and got a two count. She followed up with a corner clothesline and tried for the Bronco Buster. Johnny's Girl got her knees up in time and smashed her opponent in the thighs. Three seconds later and the Women's Champion has reason to celebrate. How will she celebrate? I'm guessing she's going to scream a lot.

Up next: Donald picks his rep. The guy has an "L" in his name. He knows that. L.

Commercial Break. Virtua Fighter 5 is the "new look of real fighting." I always thought that punching someone in the face was the look of real fighting. Apparently, even violence moves on with the times.

The Barber Shop poll is in place and that can only mean one thing…Vincent "The Barber" MacCake!

Vince McMahon stands center-ring and reminds everyone of what WrestleMania 23 will present. It will be Donald Trump's dude vs. Vince McMahon's dude with the losing rich guy getting his head shaved. Which funny-haired billionaire will end up with a chrome dome? Either way, the fans are in for a treat. McMahon says that "if" Trump wins, Mac will be bald. However, if his "aunt grew testicles, she'd be my uncle." VKM throws in a threat to give Don a "billionaire bitch-slap" and then goes to the Titan Tron. Want to see a message? Look what we did to this midget on Smackdown.

No. Not Little Bastard Hornswoggle or Little Boogeyman. It's Rey Mysterio! The mini-luchadore caught a vicious beating from the WWE chairman and Umaga. Throughout the video, it was repeated that this was a message to Donald Trump. Nice going, Donald. You got Rey beaten up. I hope you're happy.

After watching the retro-beat down, the owner introduced his chosen mercenary…Umaga!

Umaga now has the word "SAMOA" written across his stomach. (JG Note: I guess it can help him in case he gets lost.) With Armando Estrada standing by to do nothing more than hold the Intercontinental Title for his Bulldozer, McMahon played the role of mouthpiece for him. He called out Trump on all his hating. You want to outdo everyone, pal. "If someone marries a hot chick, he gets a divorce and marries a hotter one." Oh. Snap. McMahon knows that Donald likes to outdo people, but he's not going to outdo the chairman at WrestleMania! That's his thing! You can't step in here and outdo Vince at his own game. So at Mania, Big Mac is going to turn you into a "bald-faced liar!"

Them's pre-taped fighting words. Unable to host his scripted aggression any longer, Donald Trump appeared on the Titan Tron. What's that? Was it live? Well, he was alive when they taped it, I suppose.

"Are you done, Vince? Are you finally done? You're wrong about that. I can do you one better all the time. I'll always beat you, Vince. I'm impressed with your man, Umaga. But he's an animal. You know it. I know it. Everybody knows that Umaga is an animal. And that's what the appropriate thing is to do with animals, you know what that is. It's called tame them. You tame them, Vince. It's very simple. Little children know that. You have animals, you tame them. And the only way that I know how to really tame an animal is to find someone or something that's superior. Like I said Vince, I can do one better tan you all the time. So allow me to introduce the man who will be directly responsible for me shaving your head nice and bald at WrestleMania. MY man. The ECW World Champion. The Great Bobby Lashley. Come on, Bobby."
- Donald Trump

Immediate reaction from the crowd: Not so great.

When Lashley came to the ring, Jim Ross ran down everything that he's ever done or won in his life. When Bobby finally made his way to the ring, a staredown ensued. Irate, the chairman called for a ton of security to hold each man back. What followed was about 300 men in black security guard shirts.

The ring filled up and everything went nuts. Umaga was going crazy and hitting everything in sight. The ECW Champion retaliated by attacking his WrestleMania foe. The two tumbled from the ring and the fight raged on. With close-up shaky camera shots and a destroyed announce table, this brawl had it all. It seemed to come to a close when a doughy security guard appeared to hug the Samoa Bulldozer. This made Jamal back away, but Lashley once again got free and the two men rolled around some more. Great segment. When it began, the crowd seemed ready to lynch Bobby just because he was the rep. By the end, they were cheering. Good stuff.

Commercial Break. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have a new movie coming out. No. Kevin Nash isn't in it.

Before the break, Lashley and Umaga went wild. Jim Ross says that he's seen gang fights and they're nothing like this. What? Jim Ross has seen gang fights? Man. I gotta party with J.R.

Chris Masters is in the ring. He's now growing a new beard to go with all his new muscles. With a chair sitting in the center, he awaits his opponent.

Cue the Great Khali.

Ha.  I'm God.

Masters looked like he was about to pass out when Khali's music first played. When The Great One finally sat in the chair and called for the Full Nelson, the Masterpiece appeared to regain some confidence. That quickly went away once he realized that he couldn't get the Masterlock on him. His arms were just too friggin big. Chris went buck, but the referee couldn’t' do anything to help him. (JG Note: Come on, Ref! Cut his arms in half! There's gotta be a saw around here.) realizing that he had the Challenge won, Khaliflower raised his arms in the air and stood up. This cued our old buddy.

Kane came rushing out and he was Big Red Mad. The monster took out Masters with his chair, but Khali escaped to the outside. Following the inter-brand run-in, Undertaker's bald little brother lowered his arms and signaled his pyro show. We missed you, Kane. Come back. Someone's gotta teach these divas some respect. There's more than a few that need the Katie Vick treatment and Orton can't handle it all on his own.

In the leather couch room, Vince McMahon is standing by with John Coachman. What? Standing by with John Coachman. The sometimes-general manager asks his boss if all is OK, and is told it is…until the cell phone rings. Vince answers it and receives some news from someone about presenting something "to the board." What?  To the board.  Once he hangs up, the owner seems madder than ever. What? Madder than ever. Coach asks him what the deal is and is told that the "Board of Directors" (JG Note: Chaired by Mrs. Kay Fabe.) wants to present an idea. They want there to be a guest referee for the WrestleMania hair match! What? Guest referee! In a statement that offended someone who might be a potential referee as well as his present company, McMahon swore he would not be a "bald headed freak." John seemed visibly annoyed. Oh give him a hell yeah.

Commercial Break.

Lillian Garcia is here to announce the next Hall of Fame inductee. Long overdue…it's Jerry The King Lawler.  Good for him.  Great choice by WWE. Jerry has made such a career for himself. Very few guys could have the longevity that he's had. From Kaufman and Letterman to his current spot as the resident color man in the company, he's someone to be respected many times over. I was really happy to see him as the newest name to be added.

Yo. How do you get your hair like that?

What? Ugh. Dude. Not washing your hair - now that's not cool.

4. Carlito Cool pinned Kenny Dykstra after a Back Cracker

This match actually started during a commercial break. Apparently Kenny Dykstra asked Carlito how it felt to be Ric Flair's "flunky." Carly responded by spitting apple in his face. Truth hurt, Captain Apple Sauce? Cool used the words to fuel his fire against the arrogant former cheerleader. He tore into Dykstra, who was wearing his Killer Bees Tribute Outfit, but found himself on the receiving end of the punishment a time or two. The audience actually seemed to be into a lot of this and the match ended up being better than you'd expect. Carl did all of his springboard flips and stuff, but it ended up costing him at one point. Ken took advantage of a mistimed assault and really gave the Cabana Boy a clubberin', as they say. After appearing to injure Coolio's ribs, K-Dog targeted the area. He put on abdominal stretches…lots of them. Torrie tried to get the crowd into it by pounding on the mat. (JG Note: What do you mean - with who? With her hands. What did you think I meant?) The longer this match went on, the less interested the fans became. The match seemed to follow suit. Things seemed to slow down and when Carlito failed to secure a two count, the crowd booed. It was one of those boos where you could tell it was because the match wasn't over. When things finally came to an end, the finish was enough to wake everyone back up again. The Dyker ran in to the corner and ended up hung out on the ropes. Cool grabbed him from behind, fell to his back, and nailed him with a Back Cracker. Ouch. Crack. What's that? That's your back. Damn.

Mr. McMahon has his jacket on his arm and, hey…do you know the way to San Jose? That's where Vince McMahon is going. Know why? Guess why. Go on. Guess. It's 'cause ECW is in Santa Fe. Vince is going to get over to that show and make life for Robert Lashley a living hell! The chairman ran off to catch his flight while the Coach stayed behind and grinned slyly. What could Coachman be thinking right now? (JG Note: The Farmer in the Dell…The Farmer in the Dell…High Ho the…)

Commercial Break. Ummm, that Castrol GTX thing is only a joke right? I'm worried that they're really trying to warn us all about a giant sludge monster that can kill you while you're driving.

5. WWE Tag Team Champions Shawn Michaels and John Cena defeated Edge and Randy Orton

Lawler talks about the Marty Jannetty Barber-Shop turn again. With all this talk about Marty, I wonder if they'll bring him back for 20 minutes again. That's always fun. His photo goes up and down from WWE.com so quick that you think you imagined it. Anyway, it's not so far-fetched now that they used him in a video. The idea here is that Shawn Michaels can't be trusted. While the heel usually lies, this time around, the heels had proof. Then again, that never mattered anyway. Heels with proof still get booed. It's how it goes. This one came down to a hot tag to Michaels halfway through that saw the Boy Toy take down Randy Orton with a Flying Elbow. When Edge came in to interfere, he was taken out of the ring. Michaels, free of Adam Copeland, went to nail Orton with his Sweet Chin Music. The Legend Killer ducked away and the Heartbreak Foot came right for John Cena's face. The WWE Champ caught it and the two exchanged looks. Cena didn't seem happy while the Rocker appeared to be apologetic…or was he? Muwahahahaha! We find out soon enough. After a ref bump, Michaels ran into the ring with the WWE Title in hand. He used it to slam Edge upside the head and then quickly tossed it to Randy. When The R Rated Superstar turned around and saw his partner holding the weapon that just hit him, he assumed the worst. Copeland left the ring and Mr. RKO took the fall for his team.

Following the bell, Shawn Michaels and John Cena stood in the ring and held their tag team titles. John held up his Heavyweight Championship and Shawn responded by raising his arm in the air. It was a show of respect. It was a show of friendship,. All we needed was for Brutus the Barber Beefcake to scream, "Ladies and Gentlemen…the ROCKERS!!!!!" He didn't though. Guess what else didn't happen. The Boy Toy didn't turn. HBK decides not to kill his friend as we fade to black.

All in all…This was another good show on the WrestleMania Road. Let's just be honest here. They work harder when they have a celebrity or they're pushing towards Mania. This year, they're hitting on all cylinders.

Then again, the funniest thing here is that all the booking is old-school. Umaga vs. Lashley wasn't built on someone running over the other guy's dog with his car. It's built on nothing more than two monsters who refuse to be taken down by the other one. It also happens to be the match I was calling for them to do at Mania last month on Radio Free Insanity. As I said then, after Maga's match with Cena at the Royal Rumble, it seemed like a no-brainer. Bobby doesn't have to do much. He just needs to brawl. Even if you're not good at fake brawling, you can just agree to have a real brawl. Hard to have a bad match when you're out there getting hit in the mouth for real.

Shawn Michaels is a bad man. Bad. John Cena, on the other hand, is super good. The weird thing tonight was that at one point in the tag match, I thought, "What if John Cena were the one who they turn?" Then I thought of how bad that would be. A year ago, I was hoping for a heel turn for J.C. Now, I think it would be terrible. He's just too "Aww-gee" to be bad. It works for him and it's working now. As for Michaels, he's always a shining star on the show. No matter what skits he's doing or what feuds he's having, no one can entertain like HBK.

Good deal on Jerry Lawler too. It's really long overdue. He's one of the biggest legends there but he rarely toots his own horn about it. Now he can make someone else toot his horn. Something tells me he'd like that.

In case you missed it, our fourth new audio show at ClubWWI.com.  debuted this past week and it's the Lo-Down with D-Lo Brown. D-Lo joins Lisa Moretti, Orlando Jordan, and Kevin Kelly on the Club with rotating audio shows. If you head to the free main page of ClubWWI.com right now, you can hear clips from the shows. For more information on them, click the banners at the bottom of the page. We're like the Horsemen on Acid. The Nation of Insanity. You get the idea…

Also, be sure to check out the 50 minute unedited interview with Sylvester Terkay - his first since leaving WWE exclusively on ClubWWI.com. Sylvester talks about ECW, Smackdown, TNA, Kurt Angle, Undertaker, Elijah Burke, and so much more. He also tells the story of his mother throwing soda at Paul Ellering. Now where else can you hear that?

Be sure to check back tomorrow for a brand new edition of "The Big Picture" With Kevin Kelly and on Wednesday for our new uncut interview. This one's gonna be a doozy…

Be Well! Thanks for sharing the Insanity!