03-03-06

It really wasn’t the most spectacular weeks in professional wrestling; it also wasn’t one of the worst, either.  As always, though…there was no lack in stuff to talk about.

Boo-yah!!  Here we go…

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Item # 1 – There are no plans for Stacy Keibler.

This past Thursday, WWE held its investor conference call to discuss third quarter numbers.  Near the end of the call, Linda McMahon was asked about Stacy Keibler's performance on Dancing with the Stars and whether or not she would be on any future events.  It was said that there are no plans for her to be written back into the storylines at this time. 

Just as I was about to go on a tangent, I read a post from Papi on the Insanity Message Board:

No plans for Stacy Keibler? How can you not have f*cking plans for Stacy Keibler?! She's red hot right now in the mainstream media and she's one of the hottest women I've ever seen. She's got everything going for her, but they have no plans for her. They'll throw f*cking Tatanka and Road Warrior Animal on TV every week, but not Stacy Keibler? I don't get it, man. I really don't.

Nothing personifies “shaking my head” more than this story.  WWE has one of the hottest celebrities on the planet under contract right now at their disposal.  She was recently on Jimmy Kimmel Live.  She’s also been on Ellen and Larry King.  She was a finalist on one of the hottest television programs of the season and now has a bigger fan base than WWE could ever dream about.  So what does WWE do to capitalize on her popularity?

Nothing.  Not a goddamn thing. 

Why?  They’re too busy dressing Paul Burchill as a f*cking pirate.  They’re too busy writing wonderful storylines featuring the Juniors.  They’re too busy trying to think of ways for “legends” like Tatanka and Hacksaw Duggan to get on WWE television while talented, young wrestlers like Ken Doane and Rob Conway are saddled with gimmicks that have little hope of getting over from the get-go.  WWE Creative believes they can make money off a male cheerleader gimmick and then wonder why a tag team called “The Dicks” doesn’t get over.

Here’s a recent pic of Stacy…for no reason other than to simply show everybody what WWE is passing up on.

WWE’s lack of intelligence when it comes to ratings and making money never ceases to amaze me.

Item # 2 – Shawn Michaels kisses Vince McMahon’s ass on RAW.       

 Not once in a million years did I ever think that Shawn Michaels would allow himself, regardless of the reason or situation.  But yet that’s what happened this past Monday night.  Shane McMahon absolutely bashed Michaels’ head in with a steel chair and then Michaels had to pretend to not grimace while playing dead.  Shane then picked up Shawn, made him “pucker up” and then shoved his face into Vince McMahon’s bare ass.

The entire storyline seems forced to me.  I’m just not buying that McMahon hates Michaels because of not finding his own “inner peace” or something like that.  It’s stupid.  Do people want to see HBK beat up both McMahons?  Possibly.  I have a hard time believing that anybody would want to see a 60 year-old get beaten to a bloody pulp in the ring, regardless of the personality.

Oh well…the lengths that Michaels is willing to go in order to make this a storyline that gets people involved are more than I expected.  I guess nothing should surprise me at this point.

Item # 3 – TNA = late 90s WCW?

Goldberg.  Warrior.  Scott Steiner.  All three names have been linked to possibly coming in to TNA in time for their Thursday primetime debut.  Of course, this isn’t all just TNA’s idea but also Spike TV giving them a bit of a nudge to “star-up” their roster.

Goldberg?  I guess.  I don’t know what he could do other than bury the entire roster.  It’s not like Goldberg has ever EVER been known to put younger talent over in any way, shape, or form.  He might bring in a boost in short-term ratings and revenue for a potential Jarrett/Goldberg PPV, but other than that he’d be a long-term risk to TNA in that he’d bury the roster before moving on to another brilliant movie role.

Warrior?  Seriously…this was more Warrior’s idea than anybody else’s.  He thinks that he and Goldberg together, for the right price of course, could come in and immediately give TNA credibility and make them a contender to take on WWE. 

Y’know, I never lack in amazement at this guy’s ego.  Warrior’s ego is probably only overshadowed by one other person…

Scott Steiner.  I really don’t have a huge problem with this name being thrown around, either.  However, it’s very similar a deal with Goldberg in that he’d end up burying the roster.  The only real difference is that Goldberg would be the face and Steiner (at least if TNA has any intelligence whatsoever) would be the heel. 

Let’s face it, the problem with Steiner’s WWE run was that he was made to play a babyface against Triple H, so that when they wrestled…Steiner was expected to actually wrestle.  Yeah, I know.  Those crazy bastards didn’t know that Steiner couldn’t do that.  If he was a heel he could have worked to his strengths…y’know, simple kicks and punches.  Will this work in TNA?  Hard to say.

The bottom line is that I see why these names are being mentioned and they might actually work for TNA.  As a wrestling fan, though…it’s a tremendous step backwards.

Item # 4 – Shane McMahon decides to wrestle Shawn Michaels in a street fight on Saturday Night’s Main Event.

I’m all for Shane-O-Mac wrestling in a street fight as it’s always entertaining to see somebody attempt to cheat death.  I hope he tries something stupid like this again:

Item # 5 – Triple H buries John Cena during promo on RAW.

I’m normally the first guy on the message boards to defend Triple H in a lot of situations.  Mind you, most of the time the claims made about Trips are asinine and uninformed.  However, in Monday’s case I cannot defend it in any way.  What Hunter did was wrong…period.

And I cannot sit here and claim that the writers gave him everything to say, because Hunter is one of the few guys who can still go out there and say pretty much whatever he wants to.  I think he took what he was supposed to say and twisted it in a way to make Cena look like a chump.

And Cena actually bent over, whipped down his jean shorts, and took it like a bitch.  It was unbelievable.  I mean, Hunter absolutely buried Cena with lines about him not being a very good wrestler and that his best move is pumping up his sneakers…and Cena basically admitted as much in his reply.  Seriously…what the f*ck?

Well…Hunter should have done whatever he could have in order to turn the crowd on him, not stand there with a sh*t-eating grin on his face and soaking in the cheers.  You’re the heel, Hunter.  You’ve been in this business long enough to know how to get a crowd to cheer and how to get a crowd to boo.  What you said on Monday you said purposefully to get yourself cheered and to get Cena booed.  Even “cheap heat” would have been preferable in that situation.

Even if we are to expect a double face/heel turn at Mania, it was still just plain wrong.

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Each and every week I’ll take three statements that you, the WorldWrestlingInsanity.com readers, have submitted on the hot topics du jour and then get two or three volunteers to give their thoughts and insight.  Ladies and gentlemen, this week (and I encourage every reader to throw me an e-mail and volunteer), I was able to find two  great World Wrestling Insanity readers in willsbigboy and legendkiller!