Impact
The TNA Impact Report: Friction With Christian, Sting Tells His Kids That He's a Failure, and Brother Ray Continues His War on Mexicans
By Saad Naeem
Apr 6, 2007, 12:02

On the other side of the ring, the WWE has just concluded its biggest event of the year. They went all out to deliver a great Wrestlemania that people will remember for the ages. They showed fans all across the world that when given the chance the WWE can deliver. But now the ball is in TNA’s court. Now it’s time for TNA to show that they too can bring it when duty calls. Can they do that tonight? Or will we see the exact opposite?

Video package recapping last week’s events and developments.

Leticia is in the back with Team Cage who are very confident on their standings at Lockdown. Captain Cage does all the talking but soon gets interrupted by James Mitchell. He reminds Cage of the title shot he promised Abyss for joining up with Cage in a cage. That leads to a huge outburst by all the Team Cage members who were also promised title shots. Tomko is especially ticked because he is being forced to fight Rhino in an 8 Mile Street Fight next.

Rhino comes out to the ring. Then runs out, runs to the back, finds Tomko and starts wailing on him. The brawl between these two began in the back and made it’s way out to the crowd. They fought from the nosebleeds to the front row and hit each other with just about anything and everything they could find. Rhino even got his face slammed through a wall. Action finally spills ringside when Tomko slams Rhino’s head into the steel steps. We get a shot of the ring which actually looked like a construction site. Orange cones, boards, barrels and whole lot of other crap scattered everywhere. Rhino adds to the mess by pulling out a garbage can, chairs and a table from under the ring. Tomko clocks the Rhinoceros with a chair shot and then nails a traffic cone to the head. Rhino picks up a trash can but Tomko kicks it right into the War Machine’s face. He then hits Rhino in the back with a trash can. Rhino sets up a table in the corner and drove Tomko right through it. Just as victory looked ensured for Rhino, out comes Abyss! He tries to knock Rhino out with a chair shot but misses and instead clocks Tomko. Not only that but Rhino hits Tomko with the Gore and gets the victory.

After the bell Abyss starts beating up Rhino, but to the rescue come Angle and Joe. You know what that means. Team Cage (Christian, Styles, and Scott Steiner) come running out and we got ourselves a little fight. Of course Team Cage prevails due to their 5 on 3 advantage as Styles hits the Styles Splash on Rhino, Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam on Joe and Kurt gets caught with the Camel Clutch. You know what they say, there is strength in numbers.

We go to Jim Cornette’s office which is full of TNA Superstars (?). Chris Sabin, James Storm, Jacqueline Moore, Robert Roode and Traci Brooks all want to know where they stand at Lockdown. Corny tells them all to get the hell out of his office because he will let everyone know at the end of the night in a TNA Town Hall Meeting. Then out of nowhere, Gail Kim jumps Jackie Moore and starts pounding on her. Huge catfight breaks out but security rushes in to break it up.

Backstage Leticia is once again with Cage and his cronies. They’re sipping champagne and Steiner is so drunk he’s talking gibberish. I swear I heard him say “Pearl Harbor.” Christian is so happy that they laid out Team Angle that it’s time to par-tay like its 1999. They all decide to head over to a club….everybody except Abyss. You see Abyss, you cost Tomko that 8 Mile Street Fight so you don’t get to party with us. Instead you’re gonna clean up this mess (the chips and stuff Team Cage was eating) like a good maid. Abyss gets pissed but Mitchell again threatens to call the authorities on mama Abyss. Cornered, Abyss has no choice but to listen to Cage. So what’s he do? He flips the party table over and pushes away the camera man.

Match 2: VKM vs. LAX

It’s the battle of the 3 lettered teams, but it’s not for the NWA World Tag Team Championships. Before coming to the ring, VKM had another verbal exchange with one Christy Hemme. But as usual, VKM doesn’t give a crap about what she has to say. She gets cut off and carried away by Lance Hoyt. Match starts off with Hernandez taking down BG James. Surprisingly, you can hear a slight “DX Rejects” chant in the Impact Zone directed towards VKM. Meanwhile, Homicide tags in and connects with a top rope elbow drop for the two count. Smart tag teaming by LAX as they make frequent tags. Homicide and Hernandez tire out BG as Kip could only watch. But finally BG James connects with a boot to the face of Hernandez and makes the tag. Kip comes in off the hot tag and takes out LAX by himself. Kip is about to connect with the One and Only but a crap load of LAX members hit the ring and cause a DQ.

After the match, Team 3D comes out to even the sides. They get rid of LAX and finally accept the challenge for the Lockdown electrified cage match. Brother Ray said after Lockdown, Team 3D will finally have the NWA Tag Team Belts, and “LAX will be back in Tijuana making Chalupas and selling their moms for 10 pesos.”

Jeremy Borash finally shows his face tonight as he interviews Team Angle about the whooping they received earlier. Joe is pissed. And I mean pissed. He’s red as hell and just screaming at Angle. You failed us Kurt, you failed us. Angle snaps back but then Rhino starts screaming at him. In the end Angle walks away promising them to deliver 4 and 5 next week.

This week’s edition of Paparazzi Production brings us to our X-Divison Buddies. Kevin Nash is talking with Jay Lethal who has decided to take his braids out. You’ll find out why next week. On the other hand, Sonjay Dutt is dressed up in an Oz costume from Nash’s WCW days. Dutt ends the segment by saying “they’re gonna hate me in my hood.”

C’mon chant with me! Angle’s backstage in deep thought when Borash asks him what he’s got planned. Angle keeps it short and sweet. He said there will be five next week, there will be five.

The Austin Starr vs. Senshi in a submission match

Remember no pinfalls, just submissions. Mr. Backland is at ringside for this one because he will be the special guest referee in their match at Lockdown. Action spilled out the ring when Starr hit a suicide dive on Senshi through the ropes. Lots of submissions applied in this match (for obvious reason). Starr went for the Chicken Wing but he couldn’t get it locked in. But he does connect with his Pendulum Elbow. Starr locked in a chinlock with a leglace but Senshi fought out. Senshi comes back with a Dragon Sleeper but Starr escapes. Senshi missed Warrior’s Way and Austin Starr locked in a One Legged Boston Crab. Senshi refused to submit, but Backlund threw in the towel for Senshi.

After the match, Backland comes into the ring out of concern for Senshi. Austin Starr tries to apply the Chicken Wing on him but Bob blocks. When Senshi comes to he is ticked off and tosses the towel at Backland. Is that how you treat the ref?

Mike Tenay is sitting down with Sting (well Steve Borden cause he doesn’t have paint on) and asks him about Abyss. But first we see a video package about their rivaled past. Before saying anything else, Sting apologizes to “Chris” and says he never thought it would turn out this bad. Dealing with Abyss’ past has further imprisoned him and Sting never wanted this. Sting didn’t want to leave the business this way; 2 decades of wrestling for this! Sting has to go home, look his wife in the eyes, look his kids in the eyes (removes sunglasses) and tell them he’s a failure.

Mayor Jim Cornette is center stage for this town hall meeting. He’s at the podium in the ring while the whole TNA Roster makes its way to the Impact Zone. Cornette runs down the matches that will take place at Lockdown come April 15^th. They are as follows:

Xscape Match for the X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Jay Lethal vs.

Alex Shelley vs. Shark Boy

Robert Roode vs. Petey Williams

Jerry Lynn vs. Christopher Daniels

Senshi vs. Austin Starr Special Guest Referee Bob Backland

Chris Harris vs. James Storm in a blindfold match

Gail Kim vs. Jackie Moore in a Catfight in a Cage match

Team 3D vs. LAX in an Electrified Cage Match

And of course Lethal Lockdown

Then Jimbo turns his attention towards Christian Cage. He’s been promising title shots right and left but he has failed to deliver. Besides, Christian doesn’t decide who gets title shots around here; Cornette does. He declared that whoever gets the pinfall in the Lethal Lockdown match (weather it be a Team Angle member or a Team Cage member) gets a shot at the NWA World Heavyweight title. That match will take place at Sacrifice on May 13th. Cage is pissed and wants to take out his frustrations on Team Angle right now. But then lights in the Impact Zone go out. When electricity returned, Sting appears and starts demolishing Team Cage with a bat.

Adrenaline Rush video plays recapping tonight’s events and developments.

TNA has an interesting way of moving things forward. Certain weeks they primarily feature certain rivalries. For example, this week there was barely any mention of Eric Young vs. Robert Roode or James Storm and Chris Harris. Last week this was the case with Team 3D and LAX who only got a video package, no air time. But of course the main event picture is always given center stage as it should be. But that’s the best they can do considering their time constraints. I would rather see some people every other week for a good amount of time than see everyone every week for like 2 seconds each.

Sting is as good as in as far as Lethal Lockdown goes. That’s a good thing I guess cause Team Angle is shaping to be a who’s who of TNA. This is especially true when you find out Team Member Number 5 next week. He’s getting great build up and I’m sure no one will be disappointed because he will live up to the hype. Team Cage isn’t bad either but you gotta give the edge to Kurt and Company.

What is VKM, heel or face? I can’t really tell. I mean they are treated like faces but their (well mostly Kip’s) actions and words show me the contrary. I guess we gotta let this one ride out too.

I guess that just about does it for me. If you have any suggestions, comments or criticisms then please do tell. My e-mail address is Naeem920@gmail.com or you can hit me up with a PM at the Insanity Message Boards. The username is Naeem920.

See you back here later today or tomorrow with The Heat Report.

Until then I'm Saad Naeem and that was Impact.