Heat
The Heat Report: Bret Hart vs. Rick Martel, British Bulldog in a Battle Royal, Kenny Dykstra vs. Matt Hardy
By Saad Naeem
Apr 22, 2007, 09:32

Hiyo everybody and welcome back to another edition of the Heat Report. First off, to all those that take part, Happy 4-20! Of course I don’t celebrate, but I hope RVD had fun. Anyways, tonight Heat is historic. Why you ask? Well, we actually got new commentators! Good bye Todd and Coach. Hello Josh Matthews and Jack Porpella. Now I don’t know if this only because they’re in Italy or if it’s permanent. Well actually Todd Grisham is the ring announcer. But Heat is historic for another more important reason. For the first time ever Heat is a live wrestling episode AND a recap show all in one. How is that possible? Here’s how:

Rodman is Daniel Rodimer from Tough Enough. He had a match a while ago on Heat against I think he lost. Tonight he actually gets an entrance (complete with crappy generic music) and he looks quite a lot like Mark Jindrax. He’s a tall guy and actually well put together so I would not be surprised if he picked up a win here tonight. Rodman shows off his strength by pushing off Val from the tie-up that starts the match. Headlock applied by Val but Rodman takes him down with a stiff shoulder block. Rodman plays to the crowd and gets some boos. They go for another tie up but Rodman clubs Val in the back. Val comes back with his Irish whip knee to the gut combo. But when he goes for the Russian leg sweep, Rodman blocks it. But he missed an elbow drop and Val starts working on his arm. Action in the corner as Val actually tries to climb the second rope but again gets clubbed in the back.

Rodman tosses him off and applies a bear hug on Venis. Eventually Val fights out and takes down Rodman with a series of clotheslines. He hits a spinning neckbreaker and then a half nelson slam. Val hypes up the fans and goes up top. 3 seconds later he comes off with the Money Shot for the win!

Not a bad match by “Rodman” but I was glad to see veteran Val Venis win. What I really loved was the Italian crowd! Man those people make one hell of an audience. They hang on to every moment of everything and cheer their asses off. Note to self: Go to Italy and see a “football” game. It’s gonna be an experience of a lifetime.

WWE Uncut celebrating Smackdown turning 400. Relive all the great moments exclusively on wwe.com.

Okay time to go back in time to 1992. The place is Munich, Germany and we got ourselves a battle royal. The participants? Don’t even ask. I was 3 years old. But I can make out the following people: Both members of Legion of Doom, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Sgt. Slaughter, British Bulldog, The Mountie, Bret Hart, Sags of the Nasty Boys, Repo Man and Mustafa. The recap begins as Bret “The Hitman” Hart gets eliminated. You know how chaotic these matches are so let’s see what happens. Hawk tried to double clothesline two superstars out the ring but he himself got tossed out. Weird moment as everyone just stands around doing nothing while Sarg. pounds on some guy and Duggan plays to the crowd like only he can. They fast forward to when Duggan is trying to eliminate Sergeant Slaughter only to have himself eliminated by the sneaky Mountie. Repo Man pounds on Brit Boy Bulldog. Then the battle lines are drawn. On one side Sarg and Bulldog shake hands for an alliance. On the opposition, Sags, Repo Man and The Mountie show honor among thieves. Mountie goes after Sarg and the other two after Slaughter. The Sarg gets triple teamed and almost eliminated but Davey Boy Smith comes to the rescue. He comes over and hip tosses the hell out of them all. Bulldog actually saves the teetering Sarg and the crowd loves it.

Good teaming here by the faces as Sarg sends the heels into Smith who clotheslines the hell out of each of them. Slaughter almost throws out the Mountie but Sags saves him. The action has slowed down and the crowd and I are bored out our asses. Then Mountie and Sags double clothesline each of the faces. They try for a triple clothesline on the two but they reverse and hit a double clothesline on the three. Sarg and Bulldog share a hug and toss out Repo Man. But RM pulls at his feet and the distraction is enough for Mountie to toss him out. Jimmy Hart tosses Mountie his shock stick and he goes to shock the dog. But Davey moves and Sags get shocked. That’s enough to get clotheslined over and right after The Mountie gets tossed.

Fairly decent match. Nothing too special but not too often you get to see a Battle Royal on Heat. So cheers for something different. Bulldog deserved to win and I’m glad that he did.

This one also took place in 1992. The place Sheffield, England. Recap beings with Bret applying a standing Figure Four. But Martel blocks, sending Hitman into the corner. Martel sells a leg injury quite well as he clubs Bret in the back a few times. But Hart comes back with some punches and kicks. Hart goes back to the leg but Martel reverses it into a chokehold. Hitman drags Martel to the steel ring post. But Martel reverses and slams Bret’s face into it. He slams Hart’s head into the apron and then picks him up and rams his back into the opposite steel post. Martel loves himself as he hits a double axe handle smack off the apron. Marty tosses Bret back into the ring and starts working on his back. Elbows and axe handle smacks. Hart fights back and hits kick on a telegraphed Martel. Marty gets back to his feet first but suffers an inverted atomic drop for it. He throws a bunch of punches and nails a Russian Leg Sweep for the two count. Hitman nails a well executed suplex which gets another one plus one. Hart nails a backbreaker and hits a flying forearm off the second rope for the two count. Rick gets the upper hand for a while but when he goes for a suplex, Hart reverses it into a small package for the win!

Good match, but you can always expect good stuff out of The Hitman. I wasn’t bored and that’s what matters.

WWE Ringside Reality. Interesting fact: The Raw opening gets 32 pyro shots, the Smackdownd gets 16 but Batista gets 48. Dayom!

Kenny makes his way to the ring first. I should point out that he has shaved off what little facial hair he had in the first place. Its surprising to see Matt Hardy on Heat because he was in action on Smackdown. Oh well, that just means a bigger paycheck. The crowd goes wild for Matt as he makes his way to the ring. A bit of chain wrestling starts off the match. Headlocks and armlocks lead to a shoulder butt by Matt. He follows up with a scoop slam and a hip toss. Then Matt actually gets so hyped he screams out V 1-uh!! Dykstra retreates to the outside calling for time out. Matt grabs him and hiptosses him over the ropes and into the ring. Stiff punch nailed by the tag team champ followed by an elbow for the two. Matt hits a flying forearm off the second rope for another two. Matt applies a headlock but Dykstra fights out and eats some punches for it. Action spills to the corner where Kenny attempts a backdrop off the top rope. But Matt blocks and instead attempts a moonsault. But Kenny moved and Matt hurt his knee….as we head to break?

Seein’ Superstars featuring Timbaland.

Back from break and Kenny starts killing Matt’s knee. Elbow drops and and slamming in on the mat gives Kenny the upper hand. Modified version of the Indian leg lock wears it down even more. After of few moments of suffering from the Indian Death Lock, Matthew counters it into a small package for the two count. A huge kick to the leg grounds Hardy again and he gets choked in the ropes. The attack on the knee continues after which Kenny nails his somersault clothesline combo for the two count. He kicks the knee again but Matt comes back with a few right hands and a bulldog. Another cover and another two. Matt catches a side effect and a leg drop off the top. Matt Hardy sets up for the Twist of Fate but Kenny beautifully reverses it into a one legged Boston Crab. But Matt gets to the ropes. Kenny traps Hardy in the ropes and goes up top to hit a double axe handle. But Matt kicks him on his way down and when Dykstra gets up he falls to the Twist of Fate.

Brilliant match! Back and forth action by these two young phenomenal superstars. The see saw action had the crowd and myself on the edge of our seats. Good job gentlemen, that was a great match.

Very good episode of Heat tonight. Great opener and an even better main event. The middle two match were just okay but again it was different so hey why not.

That just about does it for me. If you have any suggestions, comments or criticisms then please do tell. Send me an e-mail at Naeem920@gmail.com. Or you can hit me up with a PM at the Insanity Message Boards. My username is Naeem920.

See you Thursday night with the Impact Report.

Until then I'm Saad Naeem and that was Heat.