Impact
The Impact Report: Christian Enjoys Watching Sting and Angle Fight
By Saad Naeem
May 11, 2007, 00:04

Wassup fellas and lady fellas. You clicked it so you must want it and I’m the man to give it. So, let’s get it awn!

This is the last Impact before Sacrifice. What do we have in store before the epic pay per view? Let’s find out.

Video package recapping the events and developments of last week.

This is a little preview of what is store at Sacrifice when Team 3D defend their NWA World Tag Team Championships against LAX and Steiner & Tomko. Devon came out with Brother Ray, and Homicide came out with Hernandez, Konnan and Machete. On the other hand, Steiner arrived alone. No Tomko in sight. But Steiner does have a very sparkly vest on. It’s ballin’! Match starts off with Homicide trying to convince Steiner to work together and take out Devon. The majority of the match was just that. Steiner and Homicide beat up Devon all over the ring. They hit Devon with a double suplex and some chops to the chest. Meanwhile, the camera pans over Hector Guererro (who gives me the creeps because of his eerie resemblance to the late great Eddie, RIP). Steiner hits a belly to belly and got a two count for it. Later on, Steiner put Devon in the Tree of Woe and both he and Homicide proceed to kick the upside down crap out of him. Then Homicide double crosses Freakzilla but gets hit with a Tilt-a-Whirl Slam for it. Devon gets back in the matches as he clotheslines Steiner out the ring. Then he hits a “Sky High” type move on Homicide which gets a two count. Meanwhile Steiner brawls with Brother Ray on the outside. Machete distracts the ref and that allows Hernandez to interfere. He hits the Border Bomb on Devon after which Homicide gets the cover and the win.

After the match Steiner is ticked off like hell. He starts tossing steel chairs at Ray in the ring.

Camera spans to Mike Tenay and Don West. They run down the card of Sacrifice. Two more matches added. Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles and a four corners X Division 4 corners match.

We are sent to the back where Jeremy Borash is awaiting word from Christy Hemme about her big announcement. But he doesn’t get Ms. Hemme, he gets Big Poppa Pump. Steiner is sweating like a bull and pissed off that Tomko was not there to have his back. When he was world champ, his freaks had his back. When he was tag champ his brother had his back. But who has it now?

Once he walks away Christy “oh My God, she looks hot” Hemme shows up. She has a big announcement regarding her team tonight. VKM walks in and Kip comments about Christy’s nice bumpers. He also points out that they are fake. She rolls her eyes and says that she will make the announcement in the ring with or without VKM present.

Christy Hemme, who actually has an entrance music and a movie, comes out to the ring for her announcement. She is followed by her misogynist nemesis, VKM. Even before they get in the ring, VKM got jumped! Who was laying in the whooping you ask? Well its Christy’s new boys; the tag team formally known as The Bashams. But they are no longer Doug and Danny. Christy introduces them as Basham and Damaja (gangsta way to say Damager). What is more surprising is that Danny Basham grew hair! He looks better I guess, no offense to bald people. Well hair or no hair, the new comers beat the crap out of VKM. They hit them with chair and leave the former James Gang laying. Christy grabs the mic and tells Kip to “suck on this” and proceeds to slap the taste out of his unconscious mouth. Then Lance Hoyt came to VKM’s rescue which sent Basham, Damaja and Christy scurrying.

We are sent to a video package of the heroic transformation Jeff Jarrett has gone through. They show some of his low points and cheating ways but the video ends with his righteous turn. From a belt hogging selfish champion to Eric Young’s babyface friend. It’s all good. We love you Jeff.

Split Screen Action as we get an exclusive interview with Kurt Angle, Sting and Christian Cage. As JB was asking the question we see Sting talking with his imitator Christopher Daniels (very interesting). Anyways, Angle and Sting have got some serious beef as they argue back and forth. Christian is just there playing devil’s advocate fueling the fire. First they chop on Sting for having his title shot handed to him on a silver platter. Then they beat on Angle for costing Sting the title two weeks ago. Sting tells Cage to shut up many times. What was most interesting about this segment is that each competitor had his own background. Angle was backed by the American flag, Sting was in the dark and Cage was with Lockers. Angle really had something against Sting. He tells Sting that he’s coming to look for him, and tonight they’re not gonna shake hands.

A Little Black Book, a Little Black Man and Sonjay Dutt

In the back JB is with Mr. Backland. He is super mad at Shelley and Sabin for touching his book last week in that Paparazzi Productions WTF video. You know the one where Sabin and Backland engaged in battle while Shelley filmed it all. Yea that. It’s been a week and I still don’t know what the hell that was. Well Backland swears revenge and walks off.

Then for the second time tonight someone walks in to start a second interview. It’s Lethal, Dutt and Nash. Jay does his Macho Man thing and heads on out for his match. Sonjay gets ticked and comments that there’s never any time for Dutt.

Trademark infringement galore as Jay Lethal comes out. Macho Man must be pissed. Otherwise Sonjay is still not amused by Nash and Lethal and neither is Alex Shelley. Shelley and Lethal started off the match and Lethal hit some Macho Man like moves. Hotshot on the top rope and a double axe handle smack off the top rope. Then the opposition came back with some very strong and impressive double team moves. Very amazing stuff here and it shows great chemistry between Sabin and Shelley. Lethal gets whooped for a while but finally Lethal makes the tag to Dutt. Sonjay cleans house upon entry. He hits Sabin with Sliced Bread #2 while Lethal went up top to hit his elbow drop. Jealous Dutt gets in the way and picks up Shelley just so Jay doesn’t hit the elbow and gets the win. But it costs him. The ref sent Jay out the ring and Shelley and Sabin double kick the hell out of Dutt. Then Shelley hits an awesome finisher on Dutt for the win.

After the match Mr. Backland comes out and attacks Sabin and Shelley. He hits a super scoop slam on Sabin and a delayed atomic drop on Shelley. Wow Backland can still go.

Match 3: AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, & James Storm vs. Rhino, Samoa Joe, and Chris Harris in a No Disqualification Match

Damn that’s a lot of people. The match began pitting James Storm (with his hat on) and Samoa Joe. It wasn’t long until Joe pulled the hat over Storm’s eyes and laid in a whooping. Joe tagged in Chris Harris but Storm retreated and tagged in Styles. Harris hit him with a delayed vertical suplex after which Joe makes the blind tag back in. Huge senton and a fast attack of punches and kicks follow. Rhino gets the tag and proceeds to beat the snot out of AJ. But Styles overcame the beatdown when he grabbed the ref allowing Daniels to throw The War Machine off the ropes to the outside. This turns the table for a while as the heels gain control of the match. They take turns beating down Rhino. But then Storm gets knocked out and Rhino takes advantage. Tag made to Chris Harris but Styles and Daniels come into the ring as well. Harris holds his best but now all six competitors are in the ring. A great series of clotheslines between all the competitors follows (each one is better and more impactful than the one before it and its getsthe Impact Zone fired up!). Eventually everyone falls out or leaves the ring and we are left with the two legal men in Storm and Harris. CM Punk type mishap takes place afterwards when Ms. Jackie Moore throws a beer bottle into the ring towards Storm only to have Harris catch it. Harris almost clocked him with the bottle but Storm pulled the ref in the way. Harris stopped before the ref got hit. But that allowed Storm to roll up his former partner and gave him the victory with a handful of tights.

Winners: James Storm, AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels

After the match Harris chases Storm into the crowd. They fought in the audience and Harris backdrops Storm off the stands onto the concrete floor.

Right after that camera pans over to the tunnel. In there we see Angle and Sting laying it into each other. Angle has the upper hand for the most part. Sting comes back but then security shows up to break them up. Christian Cage appears at the top of the ramp and watches the chaos from a safe distance. He is snickering slyly.

No Adrenaline Rush Recap this week. Instead we get an awesome deep and poetic hype up of Sacrifice. They show highlights of past encounter of the people competing at the pay per view this Sunday. Good Stuff.

Great one tonight as far as matches go. Really great action in the X-Division match and especially the main event. The point tonight was to sell the ppv. Did TNA do that? Not really. I mean they definitely tried. The first match especially helped move things forward. However, neither Robert Roode nor Jeff Jarrett had any air time tonight. How is that selling a great comeback?

The Bashams are back! Alright! This is great for TNA Tag Teams and of course spices things up between VKM and Christy. I really liked the fact that they got to beat down VKM. Shows they are an actual threat to Kip and BG. I was also glad to see that they still got it in the ring. Plus you know what this means…we get to see more Christy Hemme. Yay!

Dutt and Lethal are developing some friction. Hopefully this leads to some development of Sonjay Dutt. He is the best X Division athlete to not have held that belt. On the other hand, Bob Backland is one of the weirdest wrestling personalities I have ever seen. Not to say that’s a bad thing cause he is entertaining as hell.

What’s up with Sting and Daniels colluding? I was hoping for a great Daniels Sting Rivalry. What this looks like is a future teaming of the two. Hmmm, makes you think.

Lastly, the Sacrifice Main Event took a back seat this week. Sure Angle and Sting got the last slot of the night, they weren’t featured as heavily as they usually are. Is that good or bad? That’s up to you to decide.

Remember, Sacrifice is this Sunday. Call your local Cable Provider to order. Hope you enjoy.

I guess that just about does it for me. If you have any suggestions, comments or criticisms then please do tell. My e-mail address is Naeem920@gmail.com or you can hit me up with a PM at the Insanity Message Boards. The username is Naeem920.

See you back here in a day or two with The Heat Report.

Until then I'm Saad Naeem and that was Impact.