Wait. No he’s not. That’s just one of many things that left people talking following the 22^nd edition of the Spring tradition. The tap out heard around the world as John Cena gave an STFU to Triple H and WWE told the Cena-haters to STFU all at the same time. What’s it supposed to mean? Supposed to mean? Supposed to mean?! I think everyone here knows what this is supposed to mean. When you've gone over something again and again... ...and again and again... ...like I have... ...certain questions get answered. Others spring up! The mind plays tricks on you. You play tricks back! It's like you're unraveling a cable-knit sweater... ...that someone keeps knitting... ...and knitting and knitting... ...and knitting and knitting and knitting…

So considering that WrestleMania was yesterday, I decided to put together a special edition of JG’s Radio Free Insanity. I did it all today and figured I’d pop it up on the site right around the time of the Raw Insanity. Dr. Tom Prichard joins me as we run down every match for nearly an hour and a half. Tom gives a lot of insight on the wrestlers, matches, and results. We discuss the significance of Vince McMahon’s middle finger (JG Note: Something that I’ve changed my position on since yesterday), the rise of Mark Henry, Triple H’s positioning in the company, and a lot more. It was a really fun show to do and always great to hear the opinions of Dr. Tom.

As always, it’s completely free. The MP3 downloads are available now and the Flash version should be sometime in the morning.

JG's Radio Free Insanity: WrestleMania Edition with Dr. Tom Prichard

Also, for those of you who don’t use the computer on days besides Tuesday for some strange reason, be sure to check out my special edition of JG's 3/31 Smackdown Insanity. It was a chance to change the channel and watch the other brand. Plus, I finally got to review that guy who puts worms in his mouth. You know, Josh Matthews. So check it out. I even gave everyone an exclusive look at WrestleMania 45!

Now on to your regularly scheduled Raw…

Hello, kiddies. It’s Monday night and the Road to WrestleMania has ended. We’re now past the paved road and beyond the dead end. Wandering through the woods to Backlash, we search for meaning. We search for answers. Well, guess what. For the first time in a long time, we have some real questions to ask. Has Trish Stratus recovered from losing the WWE Women’s title to Mickie James? Does Carlito have something to say to "The KC Masterpiece" Chris Masters following their loss to Kane the Big Show? Has Rob Van Dam made up his mind about when he’ll use his Money in the Bank title shot? Most importantly, what is John Cena’s reaction going to be to those who doubted him? It’s a night of many possibilities that’s for sure. So spin your belts, throw your poop, and toss up your thumbs, it’s Monday night. It’s 9pm. It’s the day after WrestleMania and it’s Raw!

Excuse me…uh, Doctor Cena? I don’t mean to interrupt, but I need a pass to the guidance councilor.

Yeah. That’s the thing. I’m supposed to be in Advanced Thuganomics. I took basic last year with Dr. Schmekelstein. They must have made a mistake with my schedule in the office.

That’s right, you lucky people. John Cena is here and chances are, you hate him. Everyone hates him. In fact, if it wasn’t for the fact that he raps his own theme song, they’d have changed it to that Ugly Kid Joe song by now. Dr. Thuggy walks to the ring while the capacity crowd showers him with jeers.

At the same time, the Sensational Joey Styles welcomes us to the show. He’s alongside Jameson 2006 and the guy who slapped Kaufman for a great night of action. Jerry Lawler jumps in and says that many people were proven wrong last night when JC disappointed the world and became WWE champion. Children cried and puppies died. It wasn’t a good night for anyone. Joey began the spin by saying that those who don’t approve of Cena are "traditional fans" who don’t get the "new school." (JG Note: Ah! Now I get it! I never realized that the "new school" was about being cheesy. That explains all the girlies that were going ga-ga over Constantine on last year’s American Idol.)

John stands center ring and the fans hit him with all they got. Boo on you, Xena! Boo on you! Cena tries to speak, but the fans just let him have it. Boo, JC! Everyone hates you! Go away! The Champion takes it all in stride and still goes through with his scream of "The Champ is still here." Jerry says that the C-Man is "sticking it to all the haters." Unfortunately, the haters still remain vocal. They boo Johhny’s tale of WrestleMania. They boo the beating he took. They boo his title reign and the belt he defends "night in and night out." No matter what he says, they boo. Honest, he could have said that he loves cake and they would have thrown garbage at him. They just don’t like him. The babyface champion then explains what is to be WWE Champion.  He actually says this:

"It’s not about winning a popularity contest."
- John Cena, 9:04pm

(JG Note: Uh…It’s not about winning a popularity contest? When you’re a babyface, it kinda is about winning a popularity contest, dude.) He claims that the title is about standing up in the face of adversity and meeting challenges head on. The crowd boos the thought of overcoming obstacles. In fact, they let him have it with a steady chant of "Cena Sucks." Just as Mr. Boo-urns is about to address his haters and squash this beef, we hear the music. Prepare. Prepare to bow down to Lothar of the Hill People.

Triple H – Age 6

Hey Billy, what are you doing?

My mom just bought me this awesome new board game! It’s my favoritest game in the world! Scrabble! Yes! I love Scrabble! I worship it! I’ve been so happy all day, Paul. Come and see how cool it is. Get down on the floor! Come on! Bow down! Bow down to the game!

Bow down to the game, eh? Hmmmmm….

Hunter Hearst Helmsley’s new theme song rings out as the bouncing king skull on TitanTron signals his entrance. Tonight he’s dressed like a human being, decked out in his tie-less suit instead of his Genghis Khan costume. Helmsley walks up the aisle with a look of disdain and Styles claims that Hunter’s fans are "traditional fans." Further trying to sway the audience from cheering the Gamy One, Jerry the Thing tells us all that Hunt doesn’t even care about being cheered. He claims we shouldn't cheer him against the Word Lifer because he doesn't even want to be applauded.  (JG Note: No! What are you saying, Jerry?! Huh?! NOT TRUE! He…he – sniff, sniff – loves us! Yes he does! Take it back! Take it back!) The Gameboy enters the ring and stands face to face with his rappin’ adversary. The King of Kings extends his hand for a shake, but when the hated hero comes in for a grip, he steps away. Ouch. Damn, John. You got serrr-ved.

After leaving his foe hanging, Hunter goes in for a verbal attack. He starts with a compliment. Trips calls the Champ "tough" for taking a beating. However, he still scored a win! That really tweaks Triple’s muttonchops. He deserved to win and he didn’t. That pisses him off. Who’s Sideburns McGameface angry with? Not you, Champ. Nah. You’re but a bitch. The person that Triple H is most angry with is the same person many fans have been angry with for the past few years. That man is Triple H.

You see, Hunter, the big K.O.K. that he is, made the same mistake everyone else has made. He underestimated Cena. That’s right. Trips got suckered in. You suckered him, Champ. You made Helmsley look like a big K.O.K. sucker and now he needs to get revenge. The audience pelts him with chants of "You tapped out" and the Game agrees. He did. However, it will "never happen again." In fact, Tripz is out here for one reason. It’s a reason that everyone is aware of. That spinny thing on your waist belongs to the Cerebral Assassin. He’s the K.O.K. He’s the Champ. Damnit, punk. He wants another shot!

Oh!  Oh!  Oh!  Booyah! Shaaaaaaazam! Ahhhhhh.  Phew. So Amy, tell me…how was it? Good for you, too?

Yeah…uh, not really, Adam. I mean, the first time you sped through it and then called it your "five second pose," it was funny. Now it’s just getting to be a letdown.

No music. No thinking you know him. No seeing clearly on this day. It’s simply Edge and his ladyfriend Lita. Adam Copeland cuts off the Game and tells him what his problem is. You think you own this place, Champ. You think you deserve an endless supply of title matches because you knocked up…er, uh…married the…er, uh…because you’re Triple H! You think you have the whole world owed to you. Ef dat noise, Bucko. You lost! You lost against Corky McDorky over here and now you want a rematch? Huh? You didn’t have a rematch clause, Trips. You know what that means? It means you go to the back of the line and "someone else gets your spot." (JG Note: Has Edge been watching the same show we have for the past five years?) Who’s that someone? Well that someone is someone who won at WrestleMania. It’s someone who destroyed Mick Foley in his own environment. It’s someone with a perfect WM record. That someone is "Mr. Perfect" Edge Copeland.

Smirking, Mr. Stephanie approaches Edgy and asks how many of his perfect Mania matches were the main event. The crowd goes "Oooo." Then the H Man laughs and follws up with…

"I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you run along into the back and hang out with the other curtain jerkers while the main event guys stay in here and handle our business."
-Triple H, 9:13pm

(JG Note: Funny, I wouldn’t think that he would still want to hang out with Matt Hardy.) The crowd reacts big to this line and Copeland isn’t happy. He makes fun of Hunter for dressing up like Conan the Barbarian (see pic up top) and reminds the King of Cartoons that he’s a former WWE Champion! In fact, AC beat Cena for the title! That’s right…the same Cena that you couldn’t beat, Motorhead! The response?

"That’s right. You were the WWE Champ. Damnit, though. I took a nap for 20 minutes and I missed the whole thing."
- Triple H, 9:14pm

Goddamn! So far this segment has been great and lines like that are acceptable when they’re being balanced out. Edge does just that and tells the Gamer that he could have taken a nap last night. You know, after he stole the show in his match again Foley. Snap. Oh…oh, and instead of napping, Copeland stayed up to watch you tap out! Oh no! He di’in’t. It’s gone beyond getting served. Now it’s awwn.

Trippie says that last night was last night, but tonight is tonight. How about tonight, he can knock you out, Lita Lover? At this point, the Champ realizes that he needs to chime in with something cheesy and says that "He-Man and Skeletor" appear to have some unfinished business and tries to leave. Edge calls John back into the ring and refers to him as "She-Ra," which cracked me up although Cena talked over it. The Cheapsaucer says that although he doesn’t make the matches, he can make suggestions. So how’s about Edge…against Triple H right here tonight? Winner gets a shot at the WWE title. The fans seem to like the idea. Dr. Thuggy makes a herpes joke about Lita’s mouth wounds and then defers the floor to the R Rated Superstar.

The E-Man turns down the idea. He’s burned and beaten from last night’s war with Mick Foley. No way, Jose. No singles matches for Edge. Instead, how about we do things the fun way? How about if Adam teams with Hunter take on your "bling bling ass?" John looks to the crowd and asks if Edgeface just said "bling bling." He tells the Canadian that he should kick his ass just for saying that. (JG Note: If the punishment for saying corny things on Raw is pain, Cena should have thrown off of a building by now.) Chyna’s ex backs up Mr. R Rated. He likes the concept of two on one. Hunt’ll team with the gigolo. No problemo, homie. Edgar says that Johhny Boy wouldn’t want to let down the members of his chain gang, however there aren’t too many left. Just to prove the point, Cope turns to the audience.

Do you people want to see Triple H fight Edge?

Applause.

Do you want to see Edge and Triple H vs John Cena in a two on one match?

Boos.

Uh oh. They weren’t expecting that. Trips tries to save it by asking "Who wants to see us kick John Cena’s ass?" Again, he gets boos. That sucks. We’ve gone beyond people wanting to see JC get his ass kicked. They don’t want to see him at all – whether getting pretend beat up or not. Regardless, that’s the direction we’re going tonight. Rebel crowd or not, the Champ is going with it. If people want to see him get beat up, well then stay tuned. Why? Because John may be " a stupid son-of-a-bitch" but he’s a "tough son-of-a-bitch." He tells the heels that they have their match and calls them "bitches" before busting a move back up the aisle.

Great opening segment. All around, solid way to start the show and awesome way to follow up Wrestlemania. Including Edge in the situation is a good move. If Trips is truly dedicated to making some real stars on this show, which is a possibility, then better to have Copeland thrown in there too. It also adds to the unpredictable nature of this whole thing. For the first time in a long time, things aren’t so easy to guess at.

Coming up tonight: The Spirit Squad challenges the Big Red Show Machines for the World Tag Team Titles. It’s a giant and a monster against feminine acrobats. Where else can you say that besides wrestling?

Commercial Break. Pick up the Burger King French Toast Sandwich - Get all your calories out of the way first thing in the morning.

1) The Spirit Squad (Kenny and Mikey) won the World Tag Team Titles from Big Show and Kane when Kenny pinned Show

For some reason, this one seemed to scream title change from the opening bell. No idea why, but it just seemed right. It’s a good move to give the straps to an actual team. With the Squad holding the belts, it opens up the door for all sorts of tag team hijinks. Although the official champions are Ken and Mike, there’s always the Demolition loophole. Back in the day, Crush showed up and just started swapping into tag defenses. It was an interesting concept and kept the team fresh. Will WWE do that with the S.S.? Who knows?  WWE.com is listing the champs simply as "SS."  So it could be a possibility.  Either way, it works. While I’m not a big fan of the gimmick, it is what it is and you have to make the most of it. WWE did that. It took a ref bump and gang mugging by all five guys, but the boys in green got the job done. After lifting up the Giant and slamming him to the mat, Kenny Doane came off the top rope with an Alabama Jam and scored himself a tag title. The Spirit Squad capture the tag titles and Joey Styles, in one of his best lines since coming to WWE, asks "Am I awake?"

The Spirit Squad celebrate as they go up the ramp. Thing seems normal until Ken Doane leans over, wraps his arms around Nick and Mikey and grabs their thighs. I shit you not. Rewatch the tape. He did that. I have no idea what the hell that was about, but something tells me I should watch my private areas when Kenny’s in a celebratin’ mood.

Commercial Break. Spike TV sneaks in an ad for the Ultimate Fighter 3. This season should be great. Ken Shamrock steps in as trainer and as long as they don’t use "Toot! Toot! Union!" as his theme song, we should be fine.

Before the break, the Spirit Squad won the tag team titles and it’s being called the biggest upset in WWE history. (JG Note: Bigger than Horowitz-Candido? Bigger than Waltman-Razor? Oh wait…those were WWF. I get it. Good catch.)

Maria is happy as hell backstage and it’s because the Spirit Squad are jumping around like crack addicts with pogo sticks. They’re the new tag champs and they have a cheer! They say that Show and Kane never had a chance, letting out screechy cackles in between. Then they take turns doing the Mickey Mouse Club style intros. It’s Kenny! Johnny! Ha, ha, ha! Mitch, Ha! Ha! Nick! Blah-ba-ba-ba biiiiikkkkkkkeeyyyy! (Mikey.) I gotta be honest. I like putting the belts on these guys, but I’m still not loving these promos at all. They’re too overdone. I know that’s the idea, but it’s still silly. I feel like a three-year-old who’s expected to laugh because Mikey is talking silly and making faces. It just seems like too much. Other than that, I’m glad they have the tag straps. Congrats, guys. Go out tonight, down some beers, and grab each other by the thighs.

Jerry Lawler says that WWE.com had 35 million page views yesterday. They set a new record. People must have been confused and meant to write WorldWrestlingInsanity.com. It happens. What? It does! Shut up!

Uh, Mr. McMahon? Rob Van Dam’s on the phone. Yeah, well, he wants…uh, well…he, uh…wants to know if he can spend his "Money in the Bank" on weed.

One of a kind, bud! It’s Rob Van Dam and he has his briefcase in hand. That’s why everyone is calling him "Mr. Money in the Bank." He took that case and earned himself a free title shot whenever he chooses. How did he do it? He climbed the ladder and "broke through the glass ceiling." In the last 24 hours, he’s been asked over and over again when he’s going to use his MITB shot. Well, RVD has decided that he’s not going to sit back and wait a whole year like Edge did. Nah ah. Robby V isn’t going to sit on his shot. He doesn’t need to. It’s all about timing, folks. Rob says that timing is very "im-porn-ent" and Extreme! That pretty much solidifies the thought that Van Dam will go for the belt at June’s ECW One Night a Year Stand. The music hits and Mr. MITB takes his leave.

Commercial Break. Coming to theaters – Lucky # Slevin. I think I’ll wait and slee it when it comes out on DVD.

2) Chris Masters defeated Bob Jobber via Masterlock submission

This was a basic squash match. The idea was to get Masters on TV and talk about his ish with Carlito last night. From the way the commentators spoke, it was hard to figure out if he was a babyface or a heel. Although, I kinda think that was the point. Chris got the win when Bob tapped to the Full Nelson.

I spit in the face of people who tap out to the Full Nelson.

This brings out Carlito Cool and his favorite fruit. Apple in hand, Carly struts into the ring and has a staredown with his WrestleMania partner. He then takes a bite of his apple and spits in the face… of the guy who tapped out to the Full Nelson. (JG Note:  Told ya.) Coachman revels in the fact that his friends are still friends with each other. We all watch as the Young Studs embrace. Carl and Chris – BFF!

Hold up. Forever comes early when Masters turns his back. Coolio grabs him from behind and falls backwards with a "backcracker" (JG Note: Carlito grabs opponent from behind. Falls back with his knees raised and ends up cracking them in his opponent’s back. Hence the name.) After the attack, Triple C searched high and low for an apple. When the only one he got was dirty, he opted to use saliva and douse the Masterpiece with some good, old fashioned, non-apple-flavored spit. Coach called Carly’s actions "disrespectful," cementing the idea that Lito is now dressing in the good guy lockeroom.

Still to come: The guy most people hate teams up with the guy some people to face the guy everybody hates.

Commercial Break. Scary Movie 4 is coming soon. It’s one of those movies that’s all about silliness without centering on a real story. You know, kinda like Airplane, The Naked Gun, and No Holds Barred.

Ring, Ring

Shawn. Can you hear me? Shawn! This is God. Listen, I didn’t approve of your crotch chop last night. Not at all. Sorry, but now I’m going to have to send a hurricane to wipe out a small island. Sorry, Shawn, You knew the deal. Don’t piss me off, kid or else I’ll make the rest of your hair fall out.

Shawn Michaels is all decked out in his Monday best and he’s looking back on his match with Vince McMahon as a success. It was brutal and ugly. Now HBK realizes he could have ended it sooner. Sure, he didn’t need to get biblical on Vinnie Mac’s club-kissed ass. He did it because it wasn’t about a match. It was about taking Mr. McSatan down to hell. Now that he’s finished his situation with VKM’s "oiled up, orange tinted body," he can move on to greener pastures. No more public urination and cheerleaders. No more! Now the Boy Toy can move on and face some new challengers. Well, since "the popular thing nowadays is to want to beat up John Cena," Michaels figured he’d jump in on that. How about a Shawn-John match for the WWE Title? What do you guys think…

Cue Shane.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Shane McMahon is in the house and he doesn’t look like his usual jolly self. HBK might know why. It could be because Little Mac was forced to kiss his daddy’s ass last night. Ha ha! Not amused in the least, Shane-o tells Shawn-o that he’s out here for one reason. He’s here to welcome his dad. That’s right, despite being beaten down like a government whore, Vinnie Mac is in the house. The chairman walks out and Joey Styles says that he would have "bet a paycheck" on the fact that Vince wasn't showing up tonight. 

Vince McMahon, neck brace and all, chastises Shawn for his actions last night. It traumatized his robotic-wife Linda. Lindy Mac had to sit back and watch her hubby get bitchslapped. What about Stephanie, Heartbreaker? Huh? Princess Preggo had to glare in horror as her pops got taken to town by you and your evil ways! Yeah. Then…poor Shane. Poor sweet sweet Shane. He had to have his head shoved into his father’s ass! Yeah! You did that! You scarred Shane-o for life. How? Because of you, he’ll never be able to put his face in another man’s ass again without thinking of his father! You ruined that for him. Never again can he just go up to a guy and shove his face in his ass without that image! (JG Note: He didn’t actually say that was how Shane was scarred. I was just guessing.) After telling us in detail how his offspring had his head up his rectal cavity, Big Mac denies HBK a title shot and says that he has "two words" for him. Michaels stops him there and allows the fans to give the chairman two words of their own.

Suck it!

They’re really pushing the DX tease. If anything, this seemed like a test to see how many people would react. Vinnie stops him right there. His two words aren’t "suck it." They’re "divine intervention." Yeah. You see, it wasn’t the Boy Toy that got the job done. No, sir.  It was someone else.  It was someone who helped SM get the win.  Who?   Well, grab your bibles, kids.  Vince is talking about…God.

"There you go again, God. Picking on me. You’re always picking on me. You always were a bully."
- Vince McMahon, 10:01pm

Shawn cuts in and tells his boss that he doesn’t meant to interrupt his "delirious rant." Perhaps the Mac Man has finally gone "completely insane." (JG Note: If he doesn’t already, Vince should definitely run out and get the Insanity.) Jannetty’s buddy asks Vin to cut to the chase. He gets his wish...and we get a top contender for this week’s Moment of Insanity.

"You’re in a war. That war, for you, is gonna continue because I’m gonna get a lot better. My son, Shane, is gonna get over this emotional scarring, I tell ya. In less than four weeks time, at Backlash, there’s gonna be a tag team match, Shawn. It’s gonna be you and your tag team partner – the good Lord Almighty. That’s right. You and God versus me, Vincent Kennedy McMahon, and the product of my semen, my son Shane!"
- Vince McMahon, 10:02pm

We have just lost cabin pressure.

Shane’s face was hilarious here. If his head up his dad’s buttcrack doesn’t screw him up, being called semen the next night will. This speech was pure Vince McMahon and everything about it was perfect. Lawler said that the boss has finally lost it, adding "He just booked God in a tag team match." No chance in Hell plays over the PA and I gotta be honest, so far this has been one of the best Raws I can remember in a long time.

Commercial Break. A&E is getting a new show called "King of Cars." I wonder if the host is going to dress up like a Mongolian with little matchbox cars strapped to his head.

Joey, Jerry, and Johnny run down all the events of the evening before we head back up to the ring for the Candice/Mickie-Trish/Torrie match.

3) Mickie James and Candice Michelle defeated Trish Stratus and Torrie Wilson when Mickie pinned Torrie

In her first appearance as Women’s Champion, Mickie James showed up with dyed blonde hair, a Trish Stratus style outfit, and the opening of Trish’s theme song attached to her own. Awesome stuff. It was only a matter of time before they went balls to the wall with the Single White Female gimmick. Having it happen the night after she takes the Women’s Title makes perfect sense. I’m telling you , I can’t believe this is the same show I review every week. Everything tonight has been done really well and I’m just crossing my fingers that they keep this momentum going. We’ve had false starts before, but something about tonight seems to be really be clicking and I hope it’s the start of something new. Everyone played her part here, with the bulk of the attention going to Mickie. She attacked Strats while she was standing on the apron and hit Torrie with a "Mick Kick" before scoring the pinfall. MJ gets so excited that she forgets her title in the ring when she leaves. Stratus picks it up and hands it back. James took it and then let out a crazy scream. Once more, Joey says that "she may be the most psychotic superstar we’ve ever seen." (JG Note: Know what, Joey? You say that every week. Tell you what. Stop saying "she may be." Go run some tests and find out for sure, then get back to us.)

Still to come: The DX guy teams with the Brood Guy to face the guy you can’t see.

Retro Commercial Break.

Recap of the Hall of Fame. I thought the show was great. As I said in the Radio Free Insanity this week, no matter what politics are at play in all this, at least the sentiment behind it is good. Wrestlers from days gone by are honored for their hard work and get to be on top of the world again, even for one day. I’m glad they do it. Sure there’s some political games at work when it comes to inductees. Then again, there’s political games at work when it comes to anything in this business. At least in this case, some good comes out of it.

Excuse me, Mr. McMahon?

Yes, Chavo?

That’s the spirit. Now close the door on your way out, Tito.

Chavo Guerrero has arrived on the ramp and he’s really playing up the Eddie angle. Apparently he has an Intercontinental Title match tonight. Just like Rey did at the Royal Rumble, Chavito is dedicating this match to Eddie Guerrero. He promised Eddie’s family that he’d come out on top. He promised them a win! I think we can all see this one coming a mile away, right?

4) WWE Intercontinental Champion Shelton Benjamin pinned Chavo Guerrero after the T-Bone Suplex

They played up Chav’s obvious loss early. Having guaranteed victory, he all but boxed himself into a corner. Mama Benjamin wasn’t here for this one yet again and the commentators informed us that she’s home resting. This was what you’d expect, with the story of Guerrero being that he contiuously wasted time when he should have been going for the cover. On more than a few occasions, he seemed to have Shelly all but done, instead choosing to dance. Dancing aside, Latino Nephew looked to have all things sewn up following the Three Amigos Suplex. When he finally made his way to the top rope for a splash, he had taken too long. Benji moved, the challenger crashed, and after a T-Bone Suplex, SB kept his gold. Good for him. Benjamin remains champion while Kerwin prepares to take Tim White’s gimmick.

Commercial Break. WWE 24/7 presents: This week in wrestling history. This week we see the Clash of Champions battle between Ric Flair and Ricky Steamboat, with Terry Funk on commentary. According to their upcoming house show cards, WWE is going to have Steamboat and Funk work as guest refs at some house shows in the next few months. That should be something to look forward to. Also, speaking of Terry, did you know that he participated in a book that’s coming out next month?  (JG Note: Come on. It certainly seemed like an appropriate time.)

During the break, Chavo Guerrero cried. The irony is that he just did this big speech at the Hall of Fame about how he was ashamed to cry, but Eddie showed him it was OK. Throughout his tears, Guerrero manages to let us all know that he’s ashamed of his loss. He decides to quit wrestling and then walks off into the sunset. Both of Chavo’s fans are devastated.

Back in the arena, Ric Flair is – Whooo! – here. He tells us that he’s had some unbelievable moments in Chicago (JG Note: I hope he doesn’t talk about doing things virgins again). Last night wasn’t so great, though. The Nature Boy didn’t win his match. He didn’t take that briefcase from the perch. Money in the Bank or no Money in the Bank, Slick Ric is still going to take that WWE Title from…

With that, Osama Rodriguez Alejandro from OVW arrives. He’s got his whole Lou Bega Schick going on and I’m pretty stoked to see him. For those who haven’t seen him in Ohio Valley, "Big Lalo" is a standout. He has a loud and in-your-face style to him and people have been clamoring to see him on the big stage for a while. Tonight, they got their chance. He had a name change, though. Since "Osama" probably would go over with a national audience about as well as John Cena, they opted to change the whole thing. His new name?

Armando Alejandro Estrada!

Armando tells Ric that his time is over and starts to go off on a rant. The Dirtiest Player in the Game tries to cut off AAE, but gets torn a new one for his troubles.

"Hey! Don’t’ interrupt me. Don’t interrupt me, pendejo! I said…my name is Armando Alejandro Estrada! And I grew up watching ju down in my home country of Cooba watching ju on my broken down TV with the rabbit ears for antenna held together by aluminum foil. That was then and this is now. Now yo estoy negocios. I am a businessman. I enjoy the nicer things in life - ha ha. I enjoy nice clothes, just like ju. Ha ha. I enjoy nice women. Beautiful women. The chicas. Just like ju. And amigo, more than anything else – ha ha – I enjoy the deniro. The cash. The money! Ha ha! Now your time is over. Allow me to introduce ju to the man who is going to change the face of Monday Night Raw and the entire WWE. I give to ju…"
- Armando Alejandro Estrada, 10:46pm

Did he say pendejo? For real? Wow. Just as we’re letting that sink in, Flair decides to get all Archie Bunker on Mando’s ass.

"Did you raise your voice at the Nature Boy Ric Flair? Did you walk out here, you nothing happenin’, island-jumpin’ Cuban, and get in my face? You got a new boy on the street? Let’s not talk about it. Let’s bring him out here and see what he’s got because the 16 time – whooo – World Heavyweight Champion is standing right here."
- Ric Flair, 10:47pm

Wow. I…ummm, yeah. Wow.

Estrada called him an amigo and then a pendejo once again before introducing… Umaga.

Who’s Umaga? It’s Jamal with face paint and dressed like a Headshrinker. (JG Note: You might remember Jamal as the guy in Three-Minute Warning who didn’t wind up wearing underwear on his face.)

Umaga goes to town on Flair, beating him about the face and neck. After a number of headbutts, Mags is ordered to break Ric’s neck. On cue, he lifts Naitch up in a Torture Rack position and then spins him out before dropping to the mat. Coach praises Umaga for making such an impact upon his debut, stating that people will be discussing him tomorrow at the water cooler.

Hey there, Bill. Just grabbing some water. Hey, great report you gave the board this morning.

Your fired, Bill.

Up next: You Think You Know Me and Time To Play The Game take on BOOO!

(JG Note: Thanks go out to Matt Dawgs for correcting the spelling of my spasnish profanity.)

Commercial Break. Hold on…you’re not supposed to drag a giant anchor and a piano behind your car? Holy crap. No wonder my car’s been driving so slow. I thought it was the transmission. It must be that goddamned piano. Why didn’t I think of it sooner!

Before going to the ring, Triple H and Edge attempt to make amends. They both give each other the go-ahead to beat down Cena. They both agree that they hate the WWE Champion. However, they both also give nasty looks behind each other’s backs.

5) Triple H and Edge defeated John Cena when Hunter pinned Cena

This was a great ending to a great Raw. Why? Because no one had any idea what to expect. The match started out primarily with Edge and Cena going at it while Trips sat on the turnbuckle and watched it all happen. Of course, once the Game saw an opening, he went for it. John was down and out and Trips descended from his perch and went to get him some. JC caught him and the two had a stare down. From behind, Copeland ran in for a Spear, but Dr. Thuggypants moved. Hunter ate the Gore and the E-Man couldn’t believe what had happened. To the disgust of the crowd, the Prince of Poop opened up on AC and looked to have the Canadian beaten to a pulp until Helmsley ran in and pulled him out of the way. Why? So he could pound away on Adam for his accidental Spear. Making matter worse for the R-Rated Superstar, the Cerebral One joined forces with Johnny John. They both took turns whaling on Edge’s head before the son-in-law hit Arn Anderson’s patented Spinebuster. Seeing Lita’s man all but beaten, Cena rushed in for the Five-Knuckle Shuffle. Swift mood, brainiac. The King of Kings simply waited for the Champion to bounce off the ropes and then hit him with a Pedigree. Three seconds later and the Game is victorious. Ahh….All is right with the world.

The K.O.K. heads back to the showers while JC and AC nurse their wounds.  Lots of pointing and yelling as we fade to black.

All in all… Great Raw.

You know what was special about this show? Everyone had something to do. Much like the successful days of the late 90s, storylines were spread out among everyone. For the last few years, angles and feuds were reserved for the same six people over and over. Everyone else just treaded water in filler segments until the big boys came on. Tonight was a step away from that. Tonight was the first Raw in ages that seemed more like an ensemble production, rather than a one-man show.

Putting the tag titles on the Spirit Squad was a good move. I still think it’s a wasted gimmick for five talents, but that’s all philosophy. We can debate that all day long. Fact of the matter is this is their gimmick, like it or not. WWE might as well make the most of it. All these guys have done great with the characters they have…and that’s saying a lot.

Vince McMahon’s rant was nuts. Pure and simple – nuts. I loved it. It’s things like this that make Vince such a great character. Booking God in a tag match was more than just a hotshot statement to get a reaction. It also drums up interest in Backlash, although, knowing Vinnie Mac, I’m a bit worried about where these promos are going to be going over the next few weeks.

Armando Alejandro Estrada! He’s gonna be good. Write it down. When you’re debut promo involves the word "pendejo," I’d say you’re off to a big start. As far as Umaga goes, it’s a hell of a gimmick to give Jamal. He looks pretty natural playing it and it’s about time they brought in a new savage to eat live fish and all that. Use the Boogeyman’s worms to catch them and then let Maga eat ‘em.

It seems pretty clear that Chavo is going to end up on Raw as a jealous heel against Rey Mysterio.  "Why did Eddie help you and not me?  Why did you abandon me, Eddie?!"  Hopefully it won't happen, but at this stage, I can't imagaine what else they could do...

Wait, I take that back.  They could fire him.  Rule #1 of WWE:  Never do a segment where you quit or retire on live TV.  They fire you for real and no one thinks twice about it.  It's also called the Ron Simmons Rule.

John Cena is what he is. What that is, I don’t know. I don’t think WWE really knows either. That’s a good thing. It means they’re playing all this by ear and seeing how it develops. As it stands right now, Raw’s an interesting show again. Why? How about the fact that no one knows what’s going to happen next? That's something we've all missed.

This episode felt special and that hasn’t happened in a long time. I can’t remember the last time I really enjoyed this show like I did tonight. From top to bottom, WWE delivered. If the post-Mania Raw is a sign of how things will play out over the next year, I’d say they’re in pretty good shape. I’m just hoping they keep this momentum up.  In a month, I want to be talking about how great the product is becoming again and not wondering why they had one good Raw and then got complacent again.

I think that’s what we all want. Keep your fingers crossed. I know I am.  Thanks for reading, guys!  Be well.

Contact James:  James@WorldWrestlingInsanity.com