Congratulations, Mr. _______________. You have been chosen for inclusion in this year's class of WWE Hall of Famers. You are asked to arrive one (1) day before WrestleMania and be on hand for all of the weekend's festivities.

As a Hall of Famer, you will be privy to many rights and privileges. Such honors include beating up John Coachman at a live event and an action figure in your likeness, made to feature more muscle tone than you ever had in your career. As you know, these things are bestowed upon you by the good grace of World Wrestling Entertainment.

This year, WWE has decided to implement a new rewards program. Much like TGIFridays and Blockbuster, we will present you with rewards. How do you earn them? Simple! You simply show up, deliver your Hall of Fame speech, and collect your prize. It's that easy!

Every Hall of Famer will start at 0 points. Once they complete the two mandatory requirements, their tally will begin. Get cracking everyone. The Hall of Fame ceremony is rapidly approaching. It'll be a night like no other! Every WWE Superstar will be in attendance to pay their respects to you and all you've done for the industry…well, except for Undertaker. He hates that shit.

Follow the rules. Accept your award. And good luck!

WWE Inc.

Mandatory:

* Thank the McMahons and Mention their kind hearts

* Express gratitude to WWE

5 Bodyslammin' Bonus Points Awarded For:

* Telling a story about Vincent K. McMahon

* Explaining how you would have been in jail without the McMahons

* Telling a story about a promoter that wasn't as good as the McMahons (preferably someone that paid you $2 a night and made you eat sawdust)

* Mentioning someone on the current roster (only 6'4 and over)

10 Pedigree Power Points Awarded For:

* Telling a story about Vincent J. McMahon

* Explaining how you would have died without the McMahons

* Telling a story about how you didn't think twice about leaving that dirty, dingy, sawdust, Indy crapshow promotion and joining "New York."

* Mentioning how amazing Triple H is

15 Extra Points Awarded For:

* Telling a story about Jess McMahon

* Explaining how you would have gone to jail and then died without the McMahons

* Telling a story about how those crappy sawdust feeder  promoter bastards were too blind to see the genius of Vince McMahon until it was too late

* Saying that you would not measure up in the ring with Triple H in your prime

100 Extra Points Awarded For:

* Keying Bruno Sammartino's Car

* Telling a story about how Vince McMahon purchased the sawdust crappy Indy promotion and then revolutionized the wrestling industry singlehandedly while all fell to his might. If possible, cry when talking about the magnitude of his intelligence.

* Taking back everything bad you ever said about the McMahons (that includes Donahue appearances, Larry King appearances, Nitro appearances, truthful statements, etc.)

* Getting down on all fours and allowing Triple H to use you as a footrest during the show

* Magically being able to do that Mr. Myagi thing with your hands and healing two torn quadriceps…STAT!

***

* Prizes will be announced at a later date. Simply call Titan Tower for a complete list and someone will call you back.