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TNA Lockdown Real Time Report
By Mike Nicolau
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Welcome to the
You know, the format of tonight’s show got me thinking about what other types of all-gimmick PPVs could be created by TNA in lieu of crafting intriguing and entertaining storylines. The possibilities are endless. Well, maybe not endless, but there’s definitely more than one. When I was a kid, battle royals were very popular. How about this? TNA Wrestling presents “Battle Royal O’Rama” -- where every match is a battle royal. Here’s how it would work: The show starts off with a classic 20-man over-the-top-rope battle royal. Simple enough, right? Here’s the catch: after that battle royal is over, the 19 men who didn’t win climb right back into the ring and another battle royal begins. After that one is over, the 18 losers of that battle royal climb back in for…you guessed it: another battle royal. After those 20 battle royals take place, all 20 winners climb back in for yet another battle royal, a SUPER battle royal. I know what you’re thinking: Wouldn’t it just be the same 20 men who started the night off in the first battle royal? Sure. But the man who won the first battle royal would be the freshest man, and would have a huge advantage over the other 19 men. Sound confusing? Good. That’ll keep you from thinking about the lack of storylines and intriguing match-ups going into the show. In any case, the ultimate winner of the SUPER battle royal (Jeff Jarrett) would be crowned King of the Battle Royal! Also popular back in the day were lumberjack matches. You remember lumberjack matches, don’t you? Everyone loves a good lumberjack match. At TNA Wrestling’s “LumberSlam,” every match is contested within the confines of a solid wall of big, beefy wrestlers. When one match ends, the participants simply exit the ring and take their place with the other lumberjacks as the following match begins. The best part about it? The wrestlers are actually dressed up as lumberjacks for the entire show! Awesome, right? I can go on and on with fantastic ideas for future TNA pay-per-views, but the show is about to begin, so I should probably start watching it. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- TNA Lockdown PPV An excellent opening video featuring Abyss aired to start the show. It looked like TNA’s answer to Kane’s “Eye Scream Man”. The video also featured the other participants in tonight’s show. Mike Tenay and Don West welcomed us to the show and hyped the sheer brutality of the Six Sides of Steel. An entertaining pyrotechnics display ensued. 1) Six-Man X Cup Preview Match: Team Japan vs. Team USA The match was contested as a normal six-man tag, with two men in the ring at a time and the others on the apron. Team USA worked well together in the opening minutes. There were lots of innovative spots, as you’d expect from TNA’s X-Division. The Japanese wrestlers worked well together also. There didn’t seem to be much of a language barrier between the Japanese and American wrestlers. All the moves were crisp, clean, and well-timed. Shocker, Puma and Magno (Team Mexico) appeared on the stage at one point to scout the two teams. Jay Lethal, as per usual, was way over with the crowd. (I’m a huge Jay Lethal mark. The only thing holding him back, IMO, were his green and white trunks, which he finally ditched for a slick-looking pair of black and white ones). Speaking of Lethal, the twenty-year-old got a hot tag midway through the match and popped the crowd with his high flying brand of wrestling. Shortly thereafter, everyone entered the ring and all Hell broke loose. Shelley hit a frogsplash for two. A bunch of near falls by Team USA followed. The crowd chanted “USA”. After a few more exciting spots and near falls the crowd broke into a “This is awesome” chant. Sonjay went for the Sonjay Cutter but Alex Shelley accidentally super kicked him. Jay Lethal was left alone and fell to a Tiger Suplex by Black Tiger. Winner: Team Japan Awesome, awesome match. They teased some dissention between Shelley and his team. Larry Z asked Borash what TNA management’s big announcement was later tonight. Borash said he didn’t know. Larry didn’t believe him. 2) Christopher Daniels vs. Low-Ki (Mystery Opponent) The former tag team champions stared each other down for a minute before trading blows and getting things started. (Why are all the good matches going on early? I hate when TNA does that.) Low-Ki is now going by the name of Sen-Chi (the Japanese word for ‘warrior’). The announcers played up the history between Low-Ki and Daniels, and also the history of the X-Division in general. The match itself was filled with brutal chops and high impact kicks and strikes. They used the cage a few times early on. The crowd was really getting into the action. Sen-Chi continued chopping away on Daniels. The Angel nailed Sen-Chi with a vicious Death Valley Driver and followed it up with the Best Moonsault Ever for a two-count. Another “This is awesome” chant broke out. Daniels placed Sen-Chi on the top rope and tried for a superplex. Sen-Chi countered, but Daniels took control again. Daniels hooked Chi up for The Angels Wings from the top rope, but Chi countered and threw him down. Daniels went for another Angels Wings but Sen-Chi countered and got the pin with his feet on the ropes. Winner: Sen-Chi Another excellent match, which the crowd really enjoyed. 3) Bullet Bob Armstrong vs. Konnan in an arm wrestling match (the loser gets “strapped”) Konnan cut a promo before the match saying that he hurt his hand last night punching people in the face in downtown Orlando. This was your typical pro wrestling arm wrestling contest with both men going back and forth. Konnan seemed to be having some trouble with the 66-year-old Armstrong. Sure enough, Bullet Bob won. Winner: Bullet Bob Armstrong Homicide flipped over the arm wrestling table after the match. LAX didn’t seem happy with the outcome. The James Gang whipped out their straps and told LAX to assume the position. LAX assumed the positions and the three white dudes began whipping them silly. BG called Kip “Billy” at one point. LAX just took their lashes like bitches without putting up a fight. They didn’t want to get suspended. Jeremy Borash interviewed Jarrett’s Survivor Series team backstage. Larry Z tried to get Jarrett to tell him what TNA management’s big announcement was, but Double J told him to piss off. All four men took turns cutting promos. Good energy. Solid segment. 4) X-Division Xscape match: Chris Sabin vs. Elix Skipper vs. Petey Williams vs. Chase Stevens vs. Shark Boy vs. Puma This match was held under elimination rules, with two participants battling at a time, with the other men on the apron. The action was too quick to call. (I haven’t mentioned it yet, but the cage is painted all black, which looks much better than the normal silver color.) Scott D’Amore and Simon Diamond were very chummy during the match. Apparently, the plan was for Petey and Elix to be the last two men. Speaking of Petey, he nailed Sharkboy with the Canadian Destroyer for the first elimination. (Sharkboy eliminated first? I’m shocked.) Chase Stevens climbed the cage at one point and executed a huge Shooting Star Press off the top onto all four remaining combatants. They didn’t really catch him so he ended up landing on his face. Holy shit. He somehow survived, but Skipper ended up eliminating him shortly thereafter. It was down to Petey, Sabin, Skipper, and Puma at that point. Williams rolled up Elix Skipper and eliminated him. Simon Diamond was pissed and he and D’Amore got ready to fight until Puma kicked Elix onto both of them. Sabin hit the Cradle Shock on Puma for three. It came down to Sabin and Williams. The crowd chanted “USA”. Both men battled, as they have so many times. The crowd was solidly behind Sabin. Sabin went for the escape over the top of the cage. Williams began climbing, and D’Amore kept Sabin from reaching the floor. Petey and Sabin were both fighting on the outside of the cage. Petey dropped but accidentally landed on D-Amore’s shoulders, and Sabin dropped to the floor. Winner: Chris Sabin Both Canadians were pissed. D’Amore screamed at Williams as Chris Sabin celebrated. Hopefully this means Petey can break free. Jeremy Borash interviewed James Mitchell and Abyss backstage. 5) X Division Championship: Samoa Joe © vs. Sabu The announcers talked about Sabu’s broken arm, which was in a cast. The match started out stiff as both men pummeled each other. Sabu got color early. Samoa Joe wasn’t holding back at all. Sabu used a chair to springboard onto Joe in the corner. Sabu hit a few of his signature spots early on. Sabu grabbed his spike and tried to impale Joe, but Joe locked in an armbar and the referee was able to grab the weapon. Joe worked Sabu’s broken arm. Sabu fought back and began climbing the cage, but Joe climbed up there with him and nailed a diamond cutter from the top rope. Joe caught Sabu on the top rope a moment later and nailed a thunderous Muscle Buster for the win. Winner and still X Division Champion: Samoa Joe Wow. A brutal and fast paced match. Not a technical masterpiece, but very intense and fun to watch. Jeremy Borash interviewed Team Canada backstage concerning their upcoming match with Team 3D. Christy Hemme walked into the Impact Zone! She looked hot. Real hot. She was carrying an envelope and went over to the announcers… They opened up Tenay’s microphone and he addressed the crowd. He read a letter from someone about a complete makeover and shake up of TNA management and the corporate structure. Everyone will be held accountable for their own actions from now on. They’ve finished negotiating with the new head of TNA management, the new face of TNA. Larry Zybysko was placed on probation as the mystery person’s first order of business. WTF? Larry came out and demanded to know who wrote the letter. Tenay continued reading. The mystery man reinstated Raven, much to Larry’s chagrin. The crowd popped. Raven came out and chased Larry around, but Larry jumped into the cage and locked himself in. Raven could do nothing but stand their looking bloated and deathly. Borash tried to get an interview with Christian backstage, but he said nothing and stoically walked off camera. 7) NWA Heavyweight Championship: Christian (c) vs. Abyss w/ James Mitchell The match started off on the outside of the cage, which was cool for the fans who all night had been watching the wrestlers through the cage. They brawled into the audience. They battled around the Impact Zone, slamming each other’s heads into various objects as they went along. They eventually ended up back at ringside while the referee tried to get them into the ring. Abyss pushed Christian into the apron and attempted to swing the giant cage door into him, but Captain Charisma moved and used the door on the monster instead. Abyss gained control and finally tossed the champ into the ring. A dueling Abyss/Christian chant rang throughout the arena. Abyss stayed on offense as the match progressed inside the cage. The inevitable ref bump occurred and Christian made a comeback. The referee didn’t see the champ make the cover. Mitchell handed the belt to Abyss through a hole in the cage. Christian smashed the big man with it and tried to revive the referee. Two count. Christian went for the Unprettier but Abyss countered and nailed the Shock Treatment. Jim Mitchell handed the monster an ominous black bag. Sure enough, thumbtacks. The crowd rose to its feet as the tacks splashed across the canvas. While this was happening, Christian came to and used Mitchell’s cane on Abyss. Christian climbed to the top of the cage. Abyss choke slammed the referee into the cage just as Christian was about to climb over the top. Both men fought at the top of the cage, and Christian sunset-flipped Abyss backfirst into the thousands of thumbtacks below! The crowd chanted “Holy Shit!” A new referee (Slick Johnson) came in and counted two. Christian tired to nail Abyss with the belt but got caught in a thunderous Blackhole Slam. Abyss got a two count. Mitchell handed Abyss another bag of tacks and he spilled them onto the mat. Christian nailed Abyss with the Unprettier out of nowhere into the thumbtacks. Don West screamed “RIGHT IN THE FACE!” about a hundred times. Winner and still NWA Heavyweight Champion: Christian Cage After the match Christian went back into the cage and went after Mitchell. Abyss attacked Christian from behind. The monster wrapped a thick chain around his fist and hammered Christian in the head with it. The champ began bleeding profusely. The crowd was stunned. Abyss tossed Cage to the floor like a piece of garbage. Abyss draped the chain over the cage and wrapped it around Christian's throat. Abyss pulled on the chain from inside the ring and strangled the champ. Mitchell handed the NWA championship belt to Abyss and they walked off with it. Backstage, Jeremy Borash interviewed Sting’s Survivor Series team. 8) Sting, AJ Styles, Ron Killings, Rhino vs. Jeff Jarrett, Scott Steiner, AMW in Lethal Lockdown The rules are similar to the Elimination Chamber. Two men start and two minutes later another man enters. AJ Styles and Chris Harris started things off. James Storm was the next man to enter. Rhino was next. Then Jarrett. Then Ron Killings. Scott Steiner was out next and he demolished everybody on the opposing team. Team Jarrett was in complete control while the clock ticked down for Sting. The crowd popped as Sting made his way into the Impact Zone. Sting did the usual kick-punch-kick routine and took everybody out. Sting gave the Stinger Splash to all four men from the opposing team at the same time! (Don't ask.) Sting called for the ceiling to be lowered. The ceiling came down dramatically with all sorts of pyro. Very cool. The weapons came into play and Sting’s team used them liberally. James Storm and AJ Styles climbed to the top of the roof of the cage. They battled for a bit while the announcers tried to figured out how many hundreds of feet they were above the floor. Gail Kim began climbing the cage but Jackie Gayda ripped her skirt off and she ran off. Storm hit AJ with the super kick on top of the cage and began setting up a table. The battle continued inside the ring. Sting and Jarrett both had guitars. Sting dropped his, picked up his bat and smashed Jarrett’s guitar into pieces. Steiner low-blowed Sting before he could do any damage to Jarrett. Meanwhile, AJ set up a ladder on top of the cage. Steiner smashed the guitar over Sting’s head. AJ climbed the ladder, grabbed onto the lighting rig that hangs from the ceiling of the arena, monkey-barred across and dropped onto James Storm and put him through a table on top of the cage! The crowd chanted “That was awesome!” Back inside the ring the battle continued. Rhino gored Jarrett. Steiner hit Rhino and locked him in the Recliner. Sting made the save. Chris Harris laid out Sting with the handcuffs and locked him in the Scorpion Deathlock. Sting countered and reversed it into his own Deathlock. Harris eventually tapped and “Sting’s Warriors” got the win. Winners: Sting’s Warriors The End. ***
Mike Nicolau can be contacted here at Nicolau@worldwrestlinginsanity.com
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| © 2005-2007 All content contained here Copyright 2006 by James Guttman *** World Wrestling Insanity and ClubWWI are not affiliated with any wrestling promotion. |
