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Canadian Bulldog's Breaking News: WWE, God Agree to Part Ways

By Canadian Bulldog
May 2, 2006, 14:26


...

(Stamford, CT) - Less than one month after signing a multi-year contract, World Wrestling Entertainment Inc. has released God.

"World Wrestling Entertainment and God have agreed to part ways. We wish Him the best in future endeavors," the company wrote today on its wwe.com website. No further reasons were given for the release.

The move has shocked many experts in the business that felt The Supreme Being would have a long and profitable run with the promotion.

"The impact of releasing God cannot be underestimated," wrote Dan Meltshire of the Observant Wrestling Newsletter. "While certainly not the youngest person on the roster, He definitely proved that He could contribute something to the product."

God, nicknamed "The Creator", "The Heavenly Father" and "Mr. Sunday Morning", has been known for an eternity as a top draw. While always a solid technician, He's likely better known to fans for creating the planet and the stars, making lightning appear out of nowhere (a gimmick also used by WWE's Undertaker) and performing miracles. Whereas contemporary Ric Flair was known for his ability to be a "sixty-minute man" in the ring, God could work up to six days before needing a day of rest.

God debuted for WWE's Monday Night Raw brand shortly after WrestleMania 22 and was put in a program with Shawn Michaels. The two began a feud with Vince and Shane McMahon that lasted just one pay-per-view appearance before His contract was abruptly ended.

Reliable Internet sources such as Clothesline.net and nwoforever.com have reported that God was supposed to feud with Michaels following the Backlash pay-per-view. Michaels allegedly threw a backstage fit over the weekend and refused to do the J.O.B., shouting "The Heartbreak Kid doesn't lay down for any deity!" according to a report on the website Breakingwwfnewz.org.

Another Internet report, penned under the name of "Mr. Chico's Big-Ass Daily Rant", insists that God just didn't fit in with others backstage and preferred to travel alone, forsaking hours of plane and rental-car travel in favor of "just kind of appearing" at local arenas.

A notorious loner throughout his long career, He "wasn't really into making small talk with Triple H and Stephanie McMahon backstage about the baby," Mr. Chico insists. "And He always steered clear of the showers whenever JBL walked by."

Yet another report, this one from Mirajahwwf.com, suggests that WWE talent relations head Johnny Ace had pitched an angle in which He was to stalk Lita, which He turned down because of so-called "religious beliefs."

Industry insiders such as Undertakerscrypt.geocities.com/14.shtml, which copied and pasted an item from this week's Ankle Lock Weekly newsletter, insist that with His WWE career likely over, God's career options are limited.

"Japan, where He used to work under a hood as Buddha, likely won't have Him back, and He just charges way too much for the indy feds," Ankle Lock Weekly editor Ryan Albatross said.

There always remains the possibility of joining TNA, although sources insist He is not thrilled with their proposed plan to have Him fight, then team with, Jeff Jarrett at the company's "Holy Communion" pay-per-view in June. Not to mention the whole Christopher Daniels gimmick.

"Let's face it; He's pretty much finished with the business now," insisted PWOutsider.com columnist Dave Scaia in a note on his "SuperMegaPremium" section. "I think Vince just wanted to get some footage for their upcoming DVD on Him, and now it's all over."

Jamie Guddworth, who runs the popular WWE-bashing website World Wrestling Lunacy, said that Vince McMahon -- and to a lesser extent, Triple H -- have gone too far this time.

"They could have headlined SummerSlam with Michaels-God, and now they've just dropped the angle?" Guddworth said. "That's sacrilegious."

-30-

Canadian Bulldog is a borderline journalist who writes weekly for World Wrestling Insanity and Online Onslaught and has published his own book of nutty e-mails to wrestlers. See his obscenely expensive Canadian BullBLOG for more details. He welcomes your comments at CanadianBulldog@worldwrestlinginsanity.com


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© 2005-2007 All content contained here Copyright 2006 by James Guttman *** World Wrestling Insanity and ClubWWI are not affiliated with any wrestling promotion.