ZAH
Shakin' My Head: Kurt Who?, Shelton's new gimmick, the King's visit, CM Punk (again), and much more!
By ZAH
Sep 29, 2006, 05:48

08-18-06

“Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known.”

Boo-yah, here we go!!

***

Item # 1 – Kurt Angle signs with TNA. 

Yeah...so Angle’s now in TNA.  So what?  Seriously, what’s the big deal with Kurt Angle, anyway?

Before y’all jump down my throat with your answers, I’m actually going to quote segments from an article I wrote last year for another website.  Why?  Because as I was sitting here thinking about what I was going to say about Kurt Angle I realized that I didn’t really care to say much of anything about Kurt Angle.  Truly...I don’t give a shit what happens to the guy.  That doesn't mean that I wish him ill or anything, it simply means that I've never been the biggest Kurt Angle fan.  Does that make me a bad person?  Maybe...maybe not.  Regardless, my thoughts are the same now as they were then...

“I don’t really care for Angle too much. Seriously, I don’t. I don’t see what the big deal is all about. Three years ago? Yeah, Angle was awesome. The key word being “was.” Now? He’s a shell of his former self.

Okay, now I’ll agree that it’s difficult to argue that Kurt Angle isn’t simply one of the greatest wrestlers of our generation. Some would argue that he already is the greatest. The thing is...I don’t know if I can really agree with that. He was certainly on his way to being the greatest of all time before his neck injury, and he certainly has been as good as anybody in wrestling since his surgery, but is he really that good?

He was given four opportunities to run with the World/WWE title and his reigns, to me, didn’t do much to prove that he was a top draw. His initial runs as champ were during the "boom" period of WWE and he was involved in feuds with Steve Austin and the Rock. His first title reign in 2000 lasted four months. His second title reign only lasted a couple of weeks. His third and fourth reigns as champion were at a time where the business was hurting and the third run as champ lasted five months while his fourth reign only two months. And I'll admit, one could argue that it wouldn’t matter how long or short his title reigns were or when they took place because he was the champion four times more than most wrestlers ever become their entire careers. Okay, fair enough. I also know that his initial run as champion was supposed to only be temporary (like his second title reign) but he impressed so many people that he was given a couple more months as champion.

But was Angle a draw as champion? I think that’s a debatable issue. I don’t have access to specific numbers but if anybody would like to prove that he was a draw as champion I’d be happy to hear from you.

Match quality? Everybody knows what his matches were like before his neck injury. The question, though, is what have Kurt’s matches been like since his (initial) surgery?

Let me go on record, however, in saying that I think Kurt Angle is still capable of being spectacular when he wants to be and can absolutely “go” on rare occasion. However, he simply isn’t somebody that I consider to be “top of the list” in terms of reasons to like wrestling today. Maybe if it was 2000 or 2001 I’d agree. Heck, maybe if it was 2002 or 2003 I’d agree. Maybe even if he stopped spitting all over the place during every one of his promos I'd start to enjoy him more.

Bottom line, though, is while I don’t turn away once an Angle match is on, I certainly don’t initially tune in to specifically see Kurt Angle matches.

I know I’ve left myself open to criticism but I welcome your feedback. Are you a fan of Angle? Let me know why by sending your comments here. I want to hear from non-Angle fans, too. Are there any? Am I the only one? Tell me if you don’t like Angle and why here.”

Item # 2 – Wait a second...he’s black?

While there has been some talk about how crazy Cryme Tyme and LAX have been in terms of being borderline racist gimmicks, I’ve got to hand it to WWE for actually taking the latest Shelton Benjamin storyline and not making a joke of it.

I was originally quite concerned that this gimmick would, once again, become a dead-end “Down with the Brown” or “Back the Mack” type of gimmick.  However, after watching the bang-on backstage segment with Benjamin and Coachman, I’m now willing to give WWE the benefit of the doubt with things to see how they progress.

I’ve never seen Benjamin so comfortable in front of the camera...and I think that this could possibly be the catalyst to the top of the card that Benjamin was looking for. 

However, the thing that WWE absolutely, positively MUST not do is continue with the “I’m held back because I’m black” storyline.  It’s a great beginning, but in order for it to succeed it cannot be the weekly reason for wrestling different people.  The whole “I’m going to wrestle Johnny Nitro for the I-C title because he hates black people” simply won’t work.  However, if it initially helps Benjamin develop some type of personality then I’m all for it.

Item # 3 – The King and his court on RAW.

As a faithful SmackDown viewer (I really don’t have much of a choice...I review the show for the site), I gotta say that I was stoked to see King Booker and his Royal Court attack John Cena on RAW.

It’s just another small storyline continuity issue that the SmackDown writers have really been trying harder to accomplish lately.  Cena’s beatdown was a culmination of the past few of weeks of subtle storyline development through both shows (i.e. the “I’ll go to SmackDown if you beat me” thing with Edge).  Then, Long asked Cena to be a part of the show for one match and voila...you’ve got ample reason for the attack on Cena.

That, along with the MVP “announcement” from this past week, are just a couple of reasons why SmackDown (at least to those who watch RAW, ECW, Impact, and SmackDown) has lately become the best wrestling show on television.

Anyway...the bottom line is that King Booker’s new gimmick deserves a bigger audience and his angle with Cena really helped people see it.  Plus, who in the hell on RAW has been able to humiliate Cena like that? 

I had been wondering where the next great heel on RAW was going to come from to battle Cena...I guess the answer to that would be “from SmackDown.”

Item # 4 – Eric Bischoff’s new book.

Meh.  There may be some stories I’d like to read, but I have no desire to go through 20 chapters of him denying wrong-doing in the collapse of WCW.

Much like Vince Russo...the guy is over-rated.  I'm just glad he's off my television every week.

Item # 5 – He’s got my respect.

“Hardcore” indeed.  This past week on ECW, Hardcore Holly wrestled a match with Rob Van Dam that will go down as one of the gutsiest performances seen in a wrestling ring in quite some time. 

Basically, Holly gave RVD a vertical suplex over the top rope onto a table set up outside of the ring.  The bump itself was tremendously dangerous and spectacular to watch.  However, Holly sliced open a HUGE gash in his back that looked absolutely horrid and borderline dangerous. 

How bad was it?  Check this out.

There have been many people openly vocal in their displeasure of Hardcore Holly over the years.  For whatever reason...being a jackass, having no charisma, being boring, being a bully, having ugly tights, generally sucking at life in general...people have never really given Holly his due.

Folks...I’ll give props to Holly for being one tough son of a bitch after that performance.  The bump itself was actually near the beginning of the match, which ended up being extremely entertaining and one of Holly’s best matches ever.

Kudos, Bob.

You still suck ass, though.

Item # 6 – Tell me he isn’t being booked brilliantly.

Go ahead...tell me.

WELL YOU’RE WRONG!!!!

I’ll tell ya, I’ve been so impressed with how CM Punk has been booked since arriving in ECW that it’s almost scary...scary because I’m half-expecting WWE to f*ck things up totally. 

It’s been widely acknowledged that ECW has only created one star thus far in it’s run...and that’s CM Punk.  Out of everybody on the ECW roster, only Punk (and maybe RVD) have the ability to join-up with the “main rosters” of either RAW or SmackDown.  The guy’s got charisma, ring-ability, and the “IT” factor that you simply can’t buy in most wrestlers.

CM Punk, Jr...I still think I should have fought the wife harder to name my newborn son that.  Dammit...

Item # 7 – Another one bites the dust.

Kid Kash was released this week for presumably having a “bad attitude.”  The only question to ask is...

Who in the hell didn’t see this coming???

Kash’s track record is well known and WWE knew that coming in.  The only crazy thing is how in the world could this guy have a “bad attitude” after being placed in a high-profile feud on SmackDown considering how small the guy is? 

If anybody’s a candidate for JG’s Radio Free Insanity, it’s this guy.  After hearing the comments that got him scolded by TNA management, who knows just what he’d say this time around.

Item # 8 – Wait a second...he was still employed? 

Pete Polaco (i.e. Justin Credible) was faxed his release by Eric Bischoff.  Don’t feel too bad for him, gang.  I heard Wal-Mart was hiring for the Christmas season so he’ll be just fine.

Item # 8.5 – And wait again...who the f*ck owns a fax machine these days??

I mean...seriously.  If you're not a business, what's the rationale for having one? 

***

Pillar to Post 

Each and every week I’ll take three statements that you, the WorldWrestlingInsanity.com readers, have submitted on the hot topics du jour and then get two or three volunteers to give their thoughts and insight.  Ladies and gentlemen, this week I give you three great World Wrestling Insanity) readers liviya, Aaron Wood, and gnu World order!

1. Agree or Disagree
TNA can now become “legitimate” competition to WWE thanks to Kurt Angle and a new time slot on Spike.

liviya:  Disagree.

Kurt Angle isn't enough to turn TNA around. Angle is one of the best, but if they just use him to build up Jeff Jarrett the way they have all the other talent they have, then why bother. If they use Kurt they way they have Christian, Sting, Scott Steiner, etc then they are still doomed to failure. TNA has loads of underutilized talent and potential to be competition already. Unfortunately, what I foresee happening is an initial ratings increase when Angle debuts followed by a feud that again promotes no one but JJ. If they continue with the current program, being moved to prime time is a sure fire way to be cancelled all together.

Aaron Wood: I agree to an extent.

First, the new time slot. TNA now have a primetime show. Logically, they have more homes with remotes in their hands than they did at 11pm. However, while they were then mainly up against the late-night talk shows, they now have much more difficult competition to deal with. Grey's Anatomy. One of the million and a half CSI variations. The Office. Those aren't shows to be sniffed at. But still, they should in theory, with or without Kurt Angle pull in more viewers. How many more? That's tough to say. Given their current 11pm approximate average of 0.8, then I would say a regular rating of 1.0 shouldn't be out of the question, even without the Angle factor. The problem with that is that TNA did a run of 1.0's before, and they dipped back down again to the 0.8 range. it's quite possible that TNA was getting all the viewers it was going to get. Until Kurt Angle was announced as joining, that is...

And let's face facts, if Kurt Angle wasn't on TNA's docket, then they would not have their new timeslot. The new TV slot was negotiated on the basis that they had a massive name coming in.

And to be perfectly frank, at this moment in time, they couldn't have picked a worse name. Of course, they couldn't have picked a better guy, This is KURT FREAKIN' ANGLE we're talking about here. I mean, from an humanitarian standpoint, there possibly couldn't be a worse pairing right now. Angle, as we know, has very serious health issues. He is also, pretty much obsessive compulsive about wrestling. One of the main reason why he signed with TNA was so he could keep wrestling. At the moment, he's popping as many pills as he's popping suplexes. And TNA is stunningly lax about it's health policy. As Mike Tenay told ESPN, "If we see that a wrestler has a problem or the talent comes to us, we will address it."

You know that Angle isn't going to tell them jack-squat about anything unless he drastically needs to. Possibly from his hospital bed.

And then, there is his schedule. People are saying "three dates a month is fine!". The WWE decided that with Angle in the condition he's in ZERO dates a month is what he should have been doing!

But the matches look oh-so-good on paper! Joe vs. Angle. Styles vs. Angle. Angle vs. Abyss. Only thing is, with Angle's current condition, all I see is:

• Angle vs. Joe - One Musclebuster. One handicapped Angle, or worse.
• Angle vs. Styles - One botched highspot landing the wrong way. One handicapped Angle, or worse.
• Angle vs. Abyss - One of any of Abyss big finishing moves. One handicapped Angle, or worse.

TNA's guys aren't made of marshmallow. Angle isn't any safer working with them than he was working against anyone in the WWE.

I know I've deviated a bit, but Kurt Angle isn't gonna be any good to TNA if he's, frankly, dead. He can be a HUGE advantage for TNA, but they have to treat him very much with kid gloves.

gnu World order: Agree.

But I'd like to modify the statement a tad - TNA can now start on the path to becoming "legitimate competition" to WWE thanks to Kurt Angle and a new time slot on Spike.

TNA has tried hard in the past to make it seem as if they've yanked someone special out from under the nose of WWE only to have those people not pan out as originally thought. They had to sell Rhino and Christian to the fans and it was a bit of stretch when they were presented as high-caliber, top-tier stars that WWE was underutilizing.

But Angle is a whole 'nother story. He needs no introduction. He needs no selling. The man is a superstar and everyone knows it. He gives TNA an instant legitimate credibility when compared side-by-side to Up North. No other addition to the roster has made people stop for a moment and say "whoa."

The new time slot is nice. Even though it's only an hour earlier, it affords TNA access to a good deal more fans. Hopefully it will lead to increased ratings and the ever-desired second hour.

Despite all that, Angle and a spot on prime time are not a panacea for TNA's woes. But those two developments offer the company the best chance it has ever had to date to show it can hang with the E.

P.S. - Angle has to stay alive.

2. Agree or Disagree
With the lack of quality heels other than Edge, RAW has the potential to be surpassed by SmackDown as being WWE’s “premiere” show.

liviya: Agree.

While it isn't the "premiere show" yet, it is consistently better than RAW already. And not just from a lack of quality heels. The overall quality of the faces is better, too. Smackdown has better gimmicks, better feuds, better announcers, and better storylines. Smackdown also has new talent used in a constructive way. RAW has become nothing more than man ass and chicken jokes with a complete lack of direction. It's the same main guys each week with a few new guys thrown in as jobbers. As much as I respect what Vince McMahon has done for wrestling, he needs to get off the TV and do what he knows best.

Aaron Wood: I agree, even if the ratings and most blindly cynical wrestling journalists and fans don't.

Hell, most weeks nowadays, Smackdown is the more interesting and entertaining show. I mean, people talk about it's lack of star power, but first of all, they have Undertaker (a Hall of Famer in the making), Booker T (5 time WCW Champion enjoying a career renisance and running Edge a close race for being the best heel in the company), Chris Benoit (usually), Rey Mysterio and Batista (who WWE have worked very hard with to make a big player). And secondly, if these people aren't stars (although they are), what is one of the things WWE do best? Make new ones. Lashley is the best current example of that. Ken Kennedy too.

At the moment, RAW is looking tired. DX is now only funny in schisms, and that's only because I'm a sucker for comedic over-acting and an in-joke. The McMahon's have been too much all over the product. Cena & Edge should have ended by now (and hopefully it will with Edge's rematch next week). While it's been entertaining, it's been going on since the beginning of January, pretty much non-stop. When Jeff Hardy has been a breath of fresh air on the show, the magic 8-ball can't be saying good things. If you want an analogy, just look at the opening credits. RAW has had the same since the brand extension in 2002. Same music. Most of the same shots. It's been away for a couple of months, and it got people thinking that finally, they were gonna change, but no. The same music. Most of the same shots, whereas Smackdown has always had tweaks made to it. From the mean and moody "black and white" opening in 2002, through the "Zero gravity" sequence to today's Drowning Pool-sung "Animated" opening, there has always been tweaks made to it, with them feeling much more fresh and exciting than its illustrious counterpart.

gnu World order:  Disagree.

RAW is WWE's flagship show. Why? Because they decided it would be.
SmackDown could have the best wrestling in the world. It could have ratings through the roof. The internet community could extol the virtues of it endlessly. But until the attitude towards it changes at Titan Tower then it will continue to be considered the "B" show (and let's face it, Vince is a stubborn fellow).

Whichever heel on SmackDown that became really over would only be moved to RAW anyway, by a draft or a trade or a contract dispute or a match stipulation or whatever, y'know.

3. Agree or Disagree
ECW is quickly showing TNA how a one-hour wrestling show should be booked.

liviya:  Agree.

While I don't see ECW as having it completely figured out yet, they are miles ahead of TNA. ECW still needs work on making the show not feel rushed. And the seemingly constant non finishes for the main event need to go, not to mention Joey Styles screaming "EXTREME RULES" 900 times per hour. But each week I notice little changes being made that improve the show. Unlike TNA that continues to do the same things week in and week out despite failing ratings.

Aaron Wood: You know, I gotta disagree with this one.

ECW isn't SHOWING TNA how to book a one hour wrestling show. ECW has ALREADY SHOWN TNA how to book an hour's timeslot. I will give TNA this however. ECW doesn't have a monthly PPV to build to. ECW can afford to let things bubble and simmer for a while. One criticism of ECW could be that it repeats itself too much (See Kelly's dancing in the early days or Rene Dupree's current promos), but the point is that if you miss it one week, you can catch it the following week, THEN get the point, which then allows more viewers to follow the story once it starts properly. I mean, do we see Kelly dance anymore? No. We don't need to. We know what the deal is.
To me, TNA is dull. Despite what all the TNA fans say, they are trying to be Sports Entertainment like the WWE. There's no 2 ways about it. Are you trying to tell me that the current "Jackass" stuff isn't Sports Entertainment? Are you telling me that lie detector tests aren't Sports Entertainment? Hell, they are running a Hair vs. Hair match at the "Capital Punishment" House Show. Fair enough you may say, until you find out that the match is Earl Hebner vs. Brian Hebner!

You see, for me this is what happens when you book with no real long-term planning. For me the angles are either overly simplistic (I interfered in your match so now we are feuding), or totally complicated booking themselves into a corner, with a rather illogical resolution. I mean look at Jim Cornette. Amazing at talking he may be, but he needs to start slapping the writers like they were wrestling student in front of Marty Wright. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but Cornette's motivation is to get the belt off of Jarrett, right? So, why is it when on the first night Cornette is in charge, Jarrett pulls a screwjob to retain the belt, Cornette does nothing? Well, nothing about Jarrett. I mean, he fired the referee (who has been hired back), he put Larry in a Hair match, and Jeff's only punishment is put into a gimmick match with Samoa Joe (so Jeff could be equally worn down by lashes as worn down by Joe), and the match isn't even for the title? Indeed, Jeff hasn't defended the belt once.

Now, Vince Russo is booking. That's gotta be good right? Well, in the past, he has written storylines for people further down the card than the main eventers. OK, they may have been the caliber of Val Venis & Kaientai, Mark Henry & Sammy, Mark Henry & Mae Young, Chavo Guerrero as an Amway salesman, The Artist, Oklahoma, "That 70's Guy" Mike Awesome...OK, I'll stop there...

And I mean, it's not as if the new writing team is Jarrett-centric...I mean, it's only Jarrett's buddy, Vince Russo, Jarrett’s own Johnny Ace, Dutch Mantell and Jarrett himself...Ok that's probably not the best ray of hope either...

All kidding aside, at least this once, Russo won't be able to get away with the smut he has heavily relied upon in the past, so we may well see something fairly original out of Russo. Wrestling booking.

gnu World order: Agree.

They both have problems. And they both can be entertaining.
But of the two, ECW seems to be the only one that understands what little time an hour is for a wrestling product. TNA seems to think it can cram two hours into one and still get their point across. Which they can, but it feels incomplete, sloppy. ECW makes better use of its time.

***

Thanks guys!!  I’m looking forward to seeing who gets to join me as a guest columnist next week. 

No problem.  Either e-mail me at Zah@worldwrestlinginsanity.com or hit me up at ZAH Nation, found in the Insanity Message Board and let me know that you’d like to participate.  Also, don’t forget to stop by my MySpace page and add me.

So until next week…

L8R