World Wrestling Insanity


RETURN TO JG's REAL TIME RAW INSANITY Monday Morning...Columbia, South Carolina... Vince McMahon: This is amazing. See, Shane? Having all the brands back together is literally the meaning of family reunion. Shane McMahon: Umm, dad? I’m pretty sure it means having your family - like your family - back together. Vince: Either way. It’s the season premier, so shut up. Let’s just get everyone together and try to take this group picture already. The wrestlers are all standing around waiting for the photo to be taken. DX walks up to King Booker. Triple H: Hey Booker. Shawn Michaels: (hopping around and bobbing his head) Hey, hey, hey…Mister Booker! Why I oughta! Yada, yada, yada, homina-homina-homina… Booker T: Yo, dawg. What’s up with your boy? Hunter: It’s the new gimmick we’re doing. It’s like the old gimmick, only new. Anyway, I heard Batista saying some things, man. He said that you eat doo-doo for dinner. Booker: What? Tell me he didn’t say that. Shawn Michaels: (in a high pitched voice) My name is Batista. Booker T is a booger. Booker: (throwing down his crown) Son-of-a-bitch! Booker runs up to Batista, who is eating a snack. Booker: What the hell did you just say about me? Batista: (confused) What? Nothing. I’m just standing here eating some Combos. It really cheeses my hunger away. Booker: (irate) What’s that supposed to mean, you bastard?! Booker jumps on Batista. Shawn: Fight! Fight! Fight! Hunter: Nice. I love it. (turning to the wrestler beside him) . Hey. Look at you. What are you gonna do, Mark Henry? Write a book called "How To Lose 300 Pounds in Four Weeks?" MVP: Uh, dude, I’m not Mark Henry. I’m M.V.P. Hunter: (happily) Oh yea! I loved that gimmick! You’re all a bunch of tax cheats! That was awesome, man! Money Inc was the shiznit! MVP: You're thinking of I.R.S. Hunter: Yes. Yes I am. (patting MVP on the head) Thank you, Mini-Mark Henry, for invoking treasured memories. Back at the front, Vince is still trying to get everyone together for the pic. Vince: Are they all lined up? OK, guys. I need you to…wait. Ric. Ric! Why don’t you have any pants on? Ric Flair: (dancing) Whooo! Vince - whoooo - Mc - by God - Mahon! The Nature Boy. The Dirtiest Player in the Game. The jet flyin’, limousine riding', wheelin’ dealing, kiss stealing, son of a gun. The 16 Time World Champion Ric Flair is wearing - whoooo, by God - invisible pants. Vince: (rolling his eyes) Invisible pants? Ric: Yes. Invisible pants. Vince: Would it be too much to ask that you go put on visible pants? William Regal: (unbuckling his belt) Here. He can wear mine. Vince: No! You keep your pants on too! We’re going to take a nice picture! I just want one nice picture we can hang up on the damn wall! Is that too much to ask?! Brian Kendrick walks out of the group. He's confused as to where he should be. Brian Kendrick: Excuse me, Mr. McMahon. Where should I stand? Vince: I’m sorry, son. This picture is only for WWE performers. Kendrick: I’m one of the World tag team champions. Vince: No kidding? Nice. Glad you decided to come to the big time. We could always use a high profile jump. I’m always on the look out for champs from other companies. Ever since that Kurt Angle crap… Kendrick: No. No, sir. I’m the tag champ on Smackdown. Vince: (shocked) What the fu…Shane! Damit, Shane! TNA has a show called Smackdown? Why isn’t legal all over that?! Kendrick: No. No, sir. You don’t get what I’m saying. I’m a WWE Superstar already. Vince: What a positive way to see it. I like someone with a dream and determination. (looking Kendrick sympathetically in the eyes) Yes, little person. You are a WWE Superstar already. It’s good to dream. Here. Give me a hug. Vince pulls Kendrick close and wraps his arms around him. Kendrick: OK. This is awkward. Vince: Who’s my creampuff? Kendrick: Please stop, sir. I can’t breathe. An uninvited guest runs into the room. Kanyon: Who betta than Vince!? Everyone stops and stares at Kanyon. Vince: What the hell are you doing here? Kanyon: (timidly) Who betta than Kanyon? Vince: You weren’t invited to the reunion! Umaga: Yeah! Like the Alanis Morissete song! (singing) You! You’re not a-llowed. You’re un-inviiiiiiit-ed…. All the wrestlers stop looking at Kanyon and look at Umaga. Umaga: Uh, I mean…Moowawaahahaha! Ooga, ooga, ooga! Kanyon: So I have to leave because I’m gay? Vince: No. You have to leave because you weren’t invited. Kanyon: But it’s really because I’m gay, right? Triple H: (whispering to Shawn Michaels) Man, that guy is so gay. Vince: God! That’s it. Sylvan, would you please show this gentleman out? Sylvan: Viva la Quebec! Sylvan walks Kanyon out. Viscera grins, adjusts his pants, and goes chasing after them. Vince: Alright. So let’s just get this picture done. Spirit Squad Kenny: (raising his hand) Mr. McMahon! JBL keeps licking his finger and sticking in my ear! Vince: Is that true, John? JBL: What? No! It’s just a little meet and greet. That’s it. Just a little harmless fun. Just a finger among friends. I like this here cheerleader. It’s not like I’d stick a bar of soap up his can while he’s showering or nothing. Just a friendly finger lick. No, sir. We only do the soap trick to them boys that complain to the management about petty things like wet willies. You know what I mean, Kenny? JBL glares at Kenny. Kenny: Yeah, uh. Yes. Yes I do. JBL: Why don’t ya do a little cheer about it? Kenny: I don’t want… JBL: CHEER! Kenny: (frightened) Rah, rah, sis-boom-ba. Please don’t stick a bar of soap up my ass. JBL: Yee-haw! Buy! Sell! Ya-hooo! Bradshaw begins shooting guns in the air like Yosemite Sam. Vince: Right. On the count of three. Ready? One. Triple H: Ready? Shawn: You betcha. You betcha! Vince: Two… Triple H: Ready….? GO! Vince: Three! *CLICK* Vince: DAMNIT! ClubWWI.com Members - Click Here For JG’s 10/9 Raw Insanity Extra: Vince McMahon's Awkward Encounter With The Big Show Not a member? Click Here To Join Now or go to CLUBWWI.com for more information. RETURN TO JG's REAL TIME RAW INSANITY

RETURN TO JG's REAL TIME RAW INSANITY

Monday Morning...Columbia, South Carolina...

Vince McMahon: This is amazing. See, Shane? Having all the brands back together is literally the meaning of family reunion.

Shane McMahon: Umm, dad? I’m pretty sure it means having your family - like your family - back together.

Vince: Either way. It’s the season premier, so shut up. Let’s just get everyone together and try to take this group picture already.

The wrestlers are all standing around waiting for the photo to be taken. DX walks up to King Booker.

Triple H: Hey Booker.

Shawn Michaels: (hopping around and bobbing his head) Hey, hey, hey…Mister Booker! Why I oughta! Yada, yada, yada, homina-homina-homina…

Booker T: Yo, dawg. What’s up with your boy?

Hunter: It’s the new gimmick we’re doing. It’s like the old gimmick, only new. Anyway, I heard Batista saying some things, man. He said that you eat doo-doo for dinner.

Booker: What? Tell me he didn’t say that.

Shawn Michaels: (in a high pitched voice) My name is Batista. Booker T is a booger.

Booker: (throwing down his crown) Son-of-a-bitch!

Booker runs up to Batista, who is eating a snack.

Booker: What the hell did you just say about me?

Batista: (confused) What? Nothing. I’m just standing here eating some Combos. It really cheeses my hunger away.

Booker: (irate) What’s that supposed to mean, you bastard?!

Booker jumps on Batista.

Shawn: Fight! Fight! Fight!

Hunter: Nice. I love it. (turning to the wrestler beside him) . Hey. Look at you. What are you gonna do, Mark Henry? Write a book called "How To Lose 300 Pounds in Four Weeks?"

MVP: Uh, dude, I’m not Mark Henry. I’m M.V.P.

Hunter: (happily) Oh yea! I loved that gimmick! You’re all a bunch of tax cheats! That was awesome, man! Money Inc was the shiznit!

MVP: You're thinking of I.R.S.

Hunter: Yes. Yes I am. (patting MVP on the head) Thank you, Mini-Mark Henry, for invoking treasured memories.

Back at the front, Vince is still trying to get everyone together for the pic.

Vince: Are they all lined up? OK, guys. I need you to…wait. Ric. Ric! Why don’t you have any pants on?

Ric Flair: (dancing) Whooo! Vince - whoooo - Mc - by God - Mahon! The Nature Boy. The Dirtiest Player in the Game. The jet flyin’, limousine riding', wheelin’ dealing, kiss stealing, son of a gun. The 16 Time World Champion Ric Flair is wearing - whoooo, by God - invisible pants.

Vince: (rolling his eyes) Invisible pants?

Ric: Yes. Invisible pants.

Vince: Would it be too much to ask that you go put on visible pants?

William Regal: (unbuckling his belt) Here. He can wear mine.

Vince: No! You keep your pants on too! We’re going to take a nice picture! I just want one nice picture we can hang up on the damn wall! Is that too much to ask?!

Brian Kendrick walks out of the group. He's confused as to where he should be.

Brian Kendrick: Excuse me, Mr. McMahon. Where should I stand?

Vince: I’m sorry, son. This picture is only for WWE performers.

Kendrick: I’m one of the World tag team champions.

Vince: No kidding? Nice. Glad you decided to come to the big time. We could always use a high profile jump. I’m always on the look out for champs from other companies. Ever since that Kurt Angle crap…

Kendrick: No. No, sir. I’m the tag champ on Smackdown.

Vince: (shocked) What the fu…Shane! Damit, Shane! TNA has a show called Smackdown? Why isn’t legal all over that?!

Kendrick: No. No, sir. You don’t get what I’m saying. I’m a WWE Superstar already.

Vince: What a positive way to see it. I like someone with a dream and determination. (looking Kendrick sympathetically in the eyes) Yes, little person. You are a WWE Superstar already. It’s good to dream. Here. Give me a hug.

Vince pulls Kendrick close and wraps his arms around him.

Kendrick: OK. This is awkward.

Vince: Who’s my creampuff?

Kendrick: Please stop, sir. I can’t breathe.

An uninvited guest runs into the room.

Kanyon: Who betta than Vince!?

Everyone stops and stares at Kanyon.

Vince: What the hell are you doing here?

Kanyon: (timidly) Who betta than Kanyon?

Vince: You weren’t invited to the reunion!

Umaga: Yeah! Like the Alanis Morissete song! (singing) You! You’re not a-llowed. You’re un-inviiiiiiit-ed….

All the wrestlers stop looking at Kanyon and look at Umaga.

Umaga: Uh, I mean…Moowawaahahaha! Ooga, ooga, ooga!

Kanyon: So I have to leave because I’m gay?

Vince: No. You have to leave because you weren’t invited.

Kanyon: But it’s really because I’m gay, right?

Triple H: (whispering to Shawn Michaels) Man, that guy is so gay.

Vince: God! That’s it. Sylvan, would you please show this gentleman out?

Sylvan: Viva la Quebec!

Sylvan walks Kanyon out. Viscera grins, adjusts his pants, and goes chasing after them.

Vince: Alright. So let’s just get this picture done.

Spirit Squad Kenny: (raising his hand) Mr. McMahon! JBL keeps licking his finger and sticking in my ear!

Vince: Is that true, John?

JBL: What? No! It’s just a little meet and greet. That’s it. Just a little harmless fun. Just a finger among friends. I like this here cheerleader. It’s not like I’d stick a bar of soap up his can while he’s showering or nothing. Just a friendly finger lick. No, sir. We only do the soap trick to them boys that complain to the management about petty things like wet willies. You know what I mean, Kenny?

JBL glares at Kenny.

Kenny: Yeah, uh. Yes. Yes I do.

JBL: Why don’t ya do a little cheer about it?

Kenny: I don’t want…

JBL: CHEER!

Kenny: (frightened) Rah, rah, sis-boom-ba. Please don’t stick a bar of soap up my ass.

JBL: Yee-haw! Buy! Sell! Ya-hooo!

Bradshaw begins shooting guns in the air like Yosemite Sam.

Vince: Right. On the count of three. Ready? One.

Triple H: Ready?

Shawn: You betcha. You betcha!

Vince: Two…

Triple H: Ready….? GO!

Vince: Three!

CLICK

Vince: DAMNIT!

ClubWWI.com Members -

Click Here For JG’s 10/9 Raw Insanity Extra: Vince McMahon's Awkward Encounter With The Big Show

Not a member?
Click Here To Join Now
or go to
CLUBWWI.com
for more information.

RETURN TO JG's REAL TIME RAW INSANITY